hmmmm. how long has it been since sec 4? 3 years plus/minus? should be around there huh? so what have i achieved thus far? in my own opinion, nth. ky once told me he feels like he's a quitter. well for me, i feel like i'm a failure.
i think i've failed at almost everything. i've failed at friendship/brotherhood. i've failed to be a good family member. i'm still a no name in terms of bball. i'm a big time loser in relationship. i am not this, i am not that.
in these years, i've lost 4 really close friends. with these 4 gone, the group's real small now although the core of the group are still somewhat there. been real grateful that ky, jm, jj and justin are still around and there's an exciting addition in boss. but sometimes i wonder, won't things be way fucking cooler than now if the other 4 were still around? like more ppl to hang around with?
out of these 4, a couple of them has came to see us as a bunch of mofos for whatever reasons. for the other 2? well, i just didn't do a good job of keeping them around i think.
and this really sucks. for the ones that think that we are a bunch of mofos, it just prove how much a loser i am. for them to hang around us for so long and have them think of us in that manner is not something to be very proud of. for the ones that i've failed to keep around, all i'm gonna say is that i've messed up big time and that also, is not something to be very proud of.
if i'm the mediator of team18, i dare say i've failed terribly. and right now, i'm trying my very best to keep those really close friends around me and i hope i'm really able to. i don't wanna have another case whereby i will sit back one day and say, "fuck, why didn't i try to make things better with him/her?"
family. hah. these are people u see everyday. and i speak less than 10 words to my bro daily. pretty nice. i value intelligence and i respect the kind of intelligence he has. but, his kind of intelligence doesn't really appeal to me. in my opinion, i find that whatever he knows can be found in textbooks. ppl i really respect are ppl that can wow me with their not-in-textbook kind of intelligence, something call street smart or life experiences.
and seriously, i can't find anything to talk to my own brother. i've been thinking on how ky and me can talk non stop for hours and i can't last even 2 minutes with my bro.
aiyah. i don't know how to solve this fucking issue also. if i know, i won't be stuck right?
dream and passion. never really have much achievements in these area. failed to make it to the bball team in the first try out. joined ncc. went back for bball training upon invitation, failed to be matured enough to find a reason to stick around. failed to get second sergeant for ncc but managed to became a staff sergeant and supernumerary. however, i failed to receive recognition from the teachers in charge. am glad that i joined ncc for the ppl i'll eventually get to know but i will be left regretting for my whole life for not staying in the bball team.
also, i don't really know how to make myself feel better other than train my life away whenever i have the time. feeling pleased and happy with my achievements over some slight improvements. hahahaha. amateur. loser.
relationship wise? nv lasted more than 6 months. nice enough answer?
something's really wrong with me. i'm a major kick ass failure.
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Monday, July 02, 2007
its my turn to go xiao liao lah xiao liao lah together with ky. lol. just ran 2.4 at stadium. walao. timing was 10.40 leh. slower than last year's timing by one whole minute lor. too much slacking over the holidays.
but something good happened. all those weight lifting are showing effect. justin said that my upper body is growing liao. annabelle punched me in my stomach and felt my 6 pacs which slacked over the years hardening again. biseps bigger liao. triseps growing at a faster rate which pisses me off. lol. chest muscle still growing. leg muscles, woohoohoo. lungs? holy shit. lol. motivated liao. later after sch, hardcore gym!
anyway, ytd went out with ky. walao. gst rise liao. really can feel it lor. went with ky, jm, justin, lianghao to buy ky's crumpler bag from 77th street. wakao. the sales girl there is god damn chio lor. lol. but i think she confirm got bf liao. and she's confirm above 18 years old. haix.
but don't huan loh, stay hua hee! anyway, i wanna stay a carefree person now. true lah. sometimes when u look at loving couples, u wish u wanna have one too. when u look at chio bu, u hope u can have one as ur gf too. u wish u can have magical times with some girl. but as i said earlier, don't huan loh!
我本实现人, 自然无牵挂. this is a chinese proverb. with direct translation, it will mean, i'm originally a carefree person, so it will be certain that i have no worries. lol. that's all i want now. fun times. freedom. good times with brothers. to achieve whatever i want to be now. poly is the time. u may say poly is good place to find a gf. yeah it is. but to me, its also a good place to lose ur gf also. seriously, with so many ppl around, if u ever have a chio gf, u will had a hard time keeping her by ur side. not that i am saying girls are unfaithful. but its the truth. its proven and tested.
somemore, after poly, there is still ns. the real test is this. while u are in tekong for the first 3 months, ur girl is outside. vulnerable and exposed to external threats while u cannot do anything. true?
however, there will be some special case. those who are extremely powderful to maintain a relationship through ns and poly. i tell u arh, guys, if u ever find this kind of gf, don't ever let her go. cause i will rate u the number one idiot in the world. seriously, if i ever have this kind of faithful gf, woohoohoo, no need to worry about life liao. lol.
but too bad. i am not that lucky and powderful to get this kind of gf. plus, i come from a group of cursed brothers who are failure in love. but nvm, we enjoy each other company. whenever i'm with them, i'm free from worries. i'm enjoying myself cause each and everyone of them are damn uniquely pro in jiao wei-ing and slacking in their own way. add all of us together and u'll get a team of invincible crappers who tries to test every law and find their flaw.
anyway. heard a very bad news. a hero (lianghao, level 16) has fallen. aiyah. expected lah. he come from a cursed bunch of ppl i mentioned earlier on.
my comments? it sounded like it was solely lianghao's fault sia. i mean i'm obviously more on lianghao's side. he's at fault too, i don't object. but it takes to hands to clap for such things to happen lor.
girls arh girls, u all wanted equality among sexes. we accepted it but u are the ones who still wants special treatment at times. equality, as according to dictionary.com means the state or quality of being equal. don't always wait for boys to ask u out. got mouth, got hp, got com. take the initiative also lah! don't always wait for ppl to sms, call or im u. u got com or hp for fuck? use lah! u or ur parents waste money buy u one com or hp to decorate the house arh? or for display? no comments sia. u nv say what u are thinking, how we boys know what how u feel? u think we professor x arh? no right? god give u mouth for fuck? talk lah!
like guys, u all can jio also. see handsome guys, can ask for number also. that's the price to pay for wanting equality. erm, looking back. i feel that i'm abit guai lan. xia lan maybe. aiyah. just a thought. lac arh everyone.
girls and relationships aside, found this interesting shit while i'm surfing the net. what's my blog rated? lol. here's my current rating.
i'm hoping to made it unsuitable for children under 17. since 17 is my age. lol. so from now on, a little bit of vulgarities here. its been 117 post and i had curbed the temptation to scold vulgarities for too long. lol.
tml got sch. wakao sian. poly no holiday. one word. fuck!
but something good happened. all those weight lifting are showing effect. justin said that my upper body is growing liao. annabelle punched me in my stomach and felt my 6 pacs which slacked over the years hardening again. biseps bigger liao. triseps growing at a faster rate which pisses me off. lol. chest muscle still growing. leg muscles, woohoohoo. lungs? holy shit. lol. motivated liao. later after sch, hardcore gym!
anyway, ytd went out with ky. walao. gst rise liao. really can feel it lor. went with ky, jm, justin, lianghao to buy ky's crumpler bag from 77th street. wakao. the sales girl there is god damn chio lor. lol. but i think she confirm got bf liao. and she's confirm above 18 years old. haix.
but don't huan loh, stay hua hee! anyway, i wanna stay a carefree person now. true lah. sometimes when u look at loving couples, u wish u wanna have one too. when u look at chio bu, u hope u can have one as ur gf too. u wish u can have magical times with some girl. but as i said earlier, don't huan loh!
我本实现人, 自然无牵挂. this is a chinese proverb. with direct translation, it will mean, i'm originally a carefree person, so it will be certain that i have no worries. lol. that's all i want now. fun times. freedom. good times with brothers. to achieve whatever i want to be now. poly is the time. u may say poly is good place to find a gf. yeah it is. but to me, its also a good place to lose ur gf also. seriously, with so many ppl around, if u ever have a chio gf, u will had a hard time keeping her by ur side. not that i am saying girls are unfaithful. but its the truth. its proven and tested.
somemore, after poly, there is still ns. the real test is this. while u are in tekong for the first 3 months, ur girl is outside. vulnerable and exposed to external threats while u cannot do anything. true?
however, there will be some special case. those who are extremely powderful to maintain a relationship through ns and poly. i tell u arh, guys, if u ever find this kind of gf, don't ever let her go. cause i will rate u the number one idiot in the world. seriously, if i ever have this kind of faithful gf, woohoohoo, no need to worry about life liao. lol.
but too bad. i am not that lucky and powderful to get this kind of gf. plus, i come from a group of cursed brothers who are failure in love. but nvm, we enjoy each other company. whenever i'm with them, i'm free from worries. i'm enjoying myself cause each and everyone of them are damn uniquely pro in jiao wei-ing and slacking in their own way. add all of us together and u'll get a team of invincible crappers who tries to test every law and find their flaw.
anyway. heard a very bad news. a hero (lianghao, level 16) has fallen. aiyah. expected lah. he come from a cursed bunch of ppl i mentioned earlier on.
my comments? it sounded like it was solely lianghao's fault sia. i mean i'm obviously more on lianghao's side. he's at fault too, i don't object. but it takes to hands to clap for such things to happen lor.
girls arh girls, u all wanted equality among sexes. we accepted it but u are the ones who still wants special treatment at times. equality, as according to dictionary.com means the state or quality of being equal. don't always wait for boys to ask u out. got mouth, got hp, got com. take the initiative also lah! don't always wait for ppl to sms, call or im u. u got com or hp for fuck? use lah! u or ur parents waste money buy u one com or hp to decorate the house arh? or for display? no comments sia. u nv say what u are thinking, how we boys know what how u feel? u think we professor x arh? no right? god give u mouth for fuck? talk lah!
like guys, u all can jio also. see handsome guys, can ask for number also. that's the price to pay for wanting equality. erm, looking back. i feel that i'm abit guai lan. xia lan maybe. aiyah. just a thought. lac arh everyone.
girls and relationships aside, found this interesting shit while i'm surfing the net. what's my blog rated? lol. here's my current rating.
i'm hoping to made it unsuitable for children under 17. since 17 is my age. lol. so from now on, a little bit of vulgarities here. its been 117 post and i had curbed the temptation to scold vulgarities for too long. lol.
tml got sch. wakao sian. poly no holiday. one word. fuck!
Monday, April 09, 2007
ok. weapons armed. time for some self defence. haix. seriously, i didn't thought that breaking up with kelly will let her have such a bad impression about what i did. hmmmmm. seriously, i'm stunned too bah.
first up, i am not playing or toying around with u. nv will i do that. i myself hate ppl who toy with others' feelings. so how in the world can i myself fool around with others? i freaking hell know what it feels like ok? i mean, yah, i'm a prankster. i bully ppl, i play ppl. but its all physically. like how i bully ky and some of my brothers. and not mentally or emotionally. damn it. nv thought that i will make u feel that way.
secondly, i am not trying to drag the relationship and made the opposite side suggest for a break up. i am full time trying to tackle the problems head on. finding ways to resolve everyshit that we are in. yes! and i'm almost done with tackling every single problem. u think i like working and studying at the same time when i'm such a slacker? so why do i have the idea of working? to freaking hell pay for my own phone bills to talk on the freaking phone! so that my dad would not have any reasons to scold me and my mum wouldn't get one hell of scolding because of me. i do tell alot to your friends regarding the fact that we do not know each other well. but i did not say that i'm not willing to try and know u better. i nv said it. and why i told ur friends not to tell u what i've told them? cause i know u will blow up. once u blow up, everything's gone. cause i'm planning to settle everything quietly by my own.
thirdly, i was fully prepared for a relationship. at some point in time after we quarrelled, i may have thought that i really wasn't prepared. but! what i wasn't prepared for was my mother's and father's reactions and quarrels. damn it. these happened so unexpectedly ain't it? who would have expected it? u tell me. if i can predict it coming, i would have been worshipped by millions of ppl now ain't it? damn it.
also, i did not ever think that meeting up with u was a bother. it nv was ok? if it really was a bother, i would have gone home the moment i had the chance to, i would have rejected meeting up with her. why would i freaking hell meet up with u until 11 pm or 12 am before going home and receive one hell of a scolding by my parents when they already had alot of reasons to scold me? yes, i don't give ppl attention, but i'm trying my best ok?
lastly, i did not ask that idiotic question first ok? u asked me first. don't ever think that u ppl can pick on my short term memory weakness. cause whatever bullshit i said. i remembered them quite well. also, i don't think i seem to be very alright now. were u there when i'm down? did u saw how sianned i was? did u know how moodless i was? of course u can't see! all u know is that u cried because we broke up.
i'm not blaming anyone here. like what ppl always said. it take two freaking hands to clap. hell yeah. so i'm at fault too.
and, we once said that no matter what, we tell each other everything and we solve it together. and not to falter, cry or despair. i told u once, result. no good. so would i dare to tell u everything again in hope that we will solve it together? obviously no! so i rather i take everything into my own hands and settle my own freaking problems. since all the while u insist, u don't want urself to be part of the reason why i do things. while i was trying to solve everything. breaking up would have to come up. how great huh? its my fault too, not telling u anything and hecking u also. communication breakdown should be the correct word.
plus it's not like i'm not there for u at all. i'm in nyjc. and u know it. so how am i gonna be as caring and available as the jeremy who slacked for 5 months after o's? i told u that too. and its not like i didn't care. i did asked friends of yours and my brother elvis to keep an eye on u. updating me with whatever shit that has gone wrong. i do care ok? and don't talk like i'm always at fault. somethings u told me ran through my mind all the time too. but i'm fighting against my inner self to give u my very best.
sorry for what i had just ranted. i need to make some self defence. clear my name. and also, say my piece. if not u ppl will think that i'm simply fooling around when i'm hell damn serious in that relationship. yeah. we're still friends. and good luck.
so anyway, went out with my mum today. lol. i need to clear some stuff in the morning. like calling cgh and temasek poly to clarify some shit. but my mum was so worried, she called them herself early in the morning while i'm still slp-ing. lol. office hour is from 8.30 am to 5.30 pm. i got tonnes of time to call them. but my mum. lol. no comments. maybe waking up late is a good thing. lol.
brought my mum to marina square. walked around with her. lol. then went to suntec city. had ample amount of time until sch reopens. so yah. decided to pei my mum. spend time with her. if not she everyday at home damn sian one. so my duty for the day. just pei my mum then go wherever she wanna go.
then my mum was spastic. went to town and bought corn flakes, scotch tapes and other stuff. almost bought fruits too. lol. there's tonnes of it back in tampines. but don't know why she bought it there. lol. and why didn't i stop her? nah, my mum long time come out once. just let her do whatever she likes lor. as long as its not against the law can liao. lol.
then my mum called my sis. told her that we're near her workplace. sis's reply? she called us to wait for her to knock off from work then go home together. her work ends at 6. back then it was 3.30 pm. wth. need to wait 2 hours 30 minutes for her. so my mum and i scan through the malls again and slacked in mac. until 5. then we went to times and free load.
6 plus. met up with my sis. they went to shop again. omg. they went into this guess shop in raffles city shopping mall. and asked for my opinion. lol. in the end still nv bought the hand bag. go for fun nia. lol.
after that. took train home. on the way back. my sis said my mum was crazy. went to town and bought those stuff. lol. spastic lah. end of post. bye.
victims of love.
first up, i am not playing or toying around with u. nv will i do that. i myself hate ppl who toy with others' feelings. so how in the world can i myself fool around with others? i freaking hell know what it feels like ok? i mean, yah, i'm a prankster. i bully ppl, i play ppl. but its all physically. like how i bully ky and some of my brothers. and not mentally or emotionally. damn it. nv thought that i will make u feel that way.
secondly, i am not trying to drag the relationship and made the opposite side suggest for a break up. i am full time trying to tackle the problems head on. finding ways to resolve everyshit that we are in. yes! and i'm almost done with tackling every single problem. u think i like working and studying at the same time when i'm such a slacker? so why do i have the idea of working? to freaking hell pay for my own phone bills to talk on the freaking phone! so that my dad would not have any reasons to scold me and my mum wouldn't get one hell of scolding because of me. i do tell alot to your friends regarding the fact that we do not know each other well. but i did not say that i'm not willing to try and know u better. i nv said it. and why i told ur friends not to tell u what i've told them? cause i know u will blow up. once u blow up, everything's gone. cause i'm planning to settle everything quietly by my own.
thirdly, i was fully prepared for a relationship. at some point in time after we quarrelled, i may have thought that i really wasn't prepared. but! what i wasn't prepared for was my mother's and father's reactions and quarrels. damn it. these happened so unexpectedly ain't it? who would have expected it? u tell me. if i can predict it coming, i would have been worshipped by millions of ppl now ain't it? damn it.
also, i did not ever think that meeting up with u was a bother. it nv was ok? if it really was a bother, i would have gone home the moment i had the chance to, i would have rejected meeting up with her. why would i freaking hell meet up with u until 11 pm or 12 am before going home and receive one hell of a scolding by my parents when they already had alot of reasons to scold me? yes, i don't give ppl attention, but i'm trying my best ok?
lastly, i did not ask that idiotic question first ok? u asked me first. don't ever think that u ppl can pick on my short term memory weakness. cause whatever bullshit i said. i remembered them quite well. also, i don't think i seem to be very alright now. were u there when i'm down? did u saw how sianned i was? did u know how moodless i was? of course u can't see! all u know is that u cried because we broke up.
i'm not blaming anyone here. like what ppl always said. it take two freaking hands to clap. hell yeah. so i'm at fault too.
and, we once said that no matter what, we tell each other everything and we solve it together. and not to falter, cry or despair. i told u once, result. no good. so would i dare to tell u everything again in hope that we will solve it together? obviously no! so i rather i take everything into my own hands and settle my own freaking problems. since all the while u insist, u don't want urself to be part of the reason why i do things. while i was trying to solve everything. breaking up would have to come up. how great huh? its my fault too, not telling u anything and hecking u also. communication breakdown should be the correct word.
plus it's not like i'm not there for u at all. i'm in nyjc. and u know it. so how am i gonna be as caring and available as the jeremy who slacked for 5 months after o's? i told u that too. and its not like i didn't care. i did asked friends of yours and my brother elvis to keep an eye on u. updating me with whatever shit that has gone wrong. i do care ok? and don't talk like i'm always at fault. somethings u told me ran through my mind all the time too. but i'm fighting against my inner self to give u my very best.
sorry for what i had just ranted. i need to make some self defence. clear my name. and also, say my piece. if not u ppl will think that i'm simply fooling around when i'm hell damn serious in that relationship. yeah. we're still friends. and good luck.
so anyway, went out with my mum today. lol. i need to clear some stuff in the morning. like calling cgh and temasek poly to clarify some shit. but my mum was so worried, she called them herself early in the morning while i'm still slp-ing. lol. office hour is from 8.30 am to 5.30 pm. i got tonnes of time to call them. but my mum. lol. no comments. maybe waking up late is a good thing. lol.
brought my mum to marina square. walked around with her. lol. then went to suntec city. had ample amount of time until sch reopens. so yah. decided to pei my mum. spend time with her. if not she everyday at home damn sian one. so my duty for the day. just pei my mum then go wherever she wanna go.
then my mum was spastic. went to town and bought corn flakes, scotch tapes and other stuff. almost bought fruits too. lol. there's tonnes of it back in tampines. but don't know why she bought it there. lol. and why didn't i stop her? nah, my mum long time come out once. just let her do whatever she likes lor. as long as its not against the law can liao. lol.
then my mum called my sis. told her that we're near her workplace. sis's reply? she called us to wait for her to knock off from work then go home together. her work ends at 6. back then it was 3.30 pm. wth. need to wait 2 hours 30 minutes for her. so my mum and i scan through the malls again and slacked in mac. until 5. then we went to times and free load.
6 plus. met up with my sis. they went to shop again. omg. they went into this guess shop in raffles city shopping mall. and asked for my opinion. lol. in the end still nv bought the hand bag. go for fun nia. lol.
after that. took train home. on the way back. my sis said my mum was crazy. went to town and bought those stuff. lol. spastic lah. end of post. bye.
victims of love.
Friday, April 06, 2007
i'm back. well. jm booked out ytd. so had dinner with him. ate alot of things. cost us over $100. $20 per person. ok lah. still affordable. most important. was the fun. anyway. kelly and i broke up. and i'm damn pissed with everything now. and of course. sad and sianned. haix. she's doing me the favour to break up. wth? no comments.
blog about today first then full force ranting. woke up this morning and went to the market with my mum. took one of my jeans for altering. lol. after which, went to tampines interchange to meet up with my sis. she came down from home to meet us. went to pay some bills with her. then went shopping with my mum and sis.
my mum bought one jeans. i bought one pants and some ankle length socks. then walked around somemore before going home. then while walking to the interchange from tm. my mum saw this mouse soft toy on the floor and thought that it was a real big fat mouse. so she grabbed me and sort of screamed. it startled me abit. but when i found out that she was fooled by a soft toy. i laughed my heads off. lol. spastic sia my mum.
so after that, went home. played games until i lost track of the time. then went to meet jun jie at 5.45 pm. was supposed to meet around 5.30 pm but as usual, was late. lol. ky and belle was worse, met up with us at 6. 20 i think. lol. pro.
walked around tm again wondering what to eat. was thinking of seoul garden but its $26 plus for ytd. ki xiao. $26 plus for seoul garden? not worth it. lol. so decided to go somewhere else to eat. went all the way down to block 844 i think. its around wai kit's house. ate alot. crab, prawns, deer meat, chicken, hor fun, fried rice blah blah blah. lol. was so darn full.
walked back to tm. then slack. watch ppl close their shop. then walked annabelle home. ky, jun jie and me then went to the playground near belle's home to slack and talk. jm can't tag along cause he need to book in to camp at 7 am later on. lol. ky and jun jie listen to me rant and tried to consult and console me. haix.
anyway, some lame shit happened. justin smsed me this while we were crapping.
hey...tmr pool at eastpoint...meet at the bk there at 12 noon...plz inform me if u cmi...don't reply this msg...
lol, so we were thnking. how do we inform him if we really cmi? lol. lame sia. after that went home lor. later going out for pool again. selling my gc to kelvin at a discount price of $180. lol.
anyway. full force ranting. i don't know where to start lah ok? i don't know what happened. i was still finding a way out for us. trying my best. damn hard. haix.
i know. i can't give ppl attention at all. i'm a happy go lucky, bo chap, sit back relax and enjoy life kind of moron. i like freedom. i like being carefree. doing whatever i like. that's my personality. kelly on the other hand, is someone who needs a little more attention, is loving. so whenever i heck her and got a lil indulged in my own life and left her on her own. she will get confused and pissed at times. i can't make her happy lah. most of the time, frustration is what i gave her.
i hate this personality at times. but i can't help it. i developed this personality in this process call growing up. cause if i don't adopt this kind of attitude. i would have broke down long time ago. haix.
ok. since i'm old enough to remember anything. the only thing i remember about my still living grandpa is that he dislikes me. he will scold me whenever i'm not in the wrong. example, when i was watching american funniest home video with my siblings when they were young. my sis will scream when its damn funny. my grandpa dislikes ppl to scream. but instead of scolding my sis, i got the scolding. wth. been his punching bag since young. thats y whenever i visit my grandparents now, i only greet my grandpa and don't bother talking or socialising with him.
my grandma? no matter whatever went wrong, things spoil or what. top on her list. always is me. and when i told her it ain't me, she simply don't believe me. wakao. unfair lor. ok? but i still talk to her. cause she took care of me when i'm young.
my dad on the other hand. haix. nv like talking to me. talk to me like giving commands. then talk so nicely to my bro and sis. kena scolding, first in line. confirm me. phone bills over $90. kena scolding. sis phone bill over $100. i don't see anything. her's higher leh. i kena. win lor. what did i do wrong in my life? only my mum treats me nicely cause she knew all the shit i went through. haix.
then when i talk on the phone with kelly. my dad don't like it. then he'll scold my mum and tell her to ask me to stop talking on the phone. he got mouth don't wanna talk to me. go scold my mum for what? then my mum stuck in between. damn jia lat. always kena scolding. so i must refrain from talking to kelly. but, i will wonder if she's thinking too much or not. so go and call. mum kena again.
haix. when will i get away from this kind of life? i wanna break loose from everything for alot of times already, but whenever i thought of my mum, i will think thrice. sianned. that why i developed the happy go lucky personality. bo chap, forget things easily and fast.
so yah. to kelly, its not that i don't like you. i'm just considering on what to do. thats y i'm not so reactive and happy these few days. i'm trying to find a way out. and for the other day. i'm seriously fine. its just that i'm not happy because u are not happy. not that i'm puttin on a strong front like what u thought. not that i'm denying anything. its not the way u think and told ky. but haix. since everything ended. no use explaining. u mistook all my words.
for everything, i'm at fault. i'm sorry. i can't give u happiness. frustration and disappointment is all i know that i gave u. so yah, go on and find someone better and someone who suits u even more than me. i this kind of ppl, will only gave u headache like what i told u before. cause i can't devote 100% of my time to u and give u alot of attention. i seriously hope that u will find someone better. cause its proven i think. i'm not who u wanted.
and as for her friends who are angry with me. go ahead. u all have every right to do so. i don't expect u all to see things from my point of view. u all are not in my shoes. won't understand the shit i'm going through all the time.
and to those who will make dumb comments to me either in my cbox, through sms or online. pls save me some pain and refrain from doing it. cause i'm seriously not in the mood and will blow my top easily now. haix. think thats all liao.
thanks to the brothers who tried cheering my up. and this is a tribute to jun jie. for trying to cheer me up. lol. campfire song from spongebob squarepants in maple style. lol.
blog about today first then full force ranting. woke up this morning and went to the market with my mum. took one of my jeans for altering. lol. after which, went to tampines interchange to meet up with my sis. she came down from home to meet us. went to pay some bills with her. then went shopping with my mum and sis.
my mum bought one jeans. i bought one pants and some ankle length socks. then walked around somemore before going home. then while walking to the interchange from tm. my mum saw this mouse soft toy on the floor and thought that it was a real big fat mouse. so she grabbed me and sort of screamed. it startled me abit. but when i found out that she was fooled by a soft toy. i laughed my heads off. lol. spastic sia my mum.
so after that, went home. played games until i lost track of the time. then went to meet jun jie at 5.45 pm. was supposed to meet around 5.30 pm but as usual, was late. lol. ky and belle was worse, met up with us at 6. 20 i think. lol. pro.
walked around tm again wondering what to eat. was thinking of seoul garden but its $26 plus for ytd. ki xiao. $26 plus for seoul garden? not worth it. lol. so decided to go somewhere else to eat. went all the way down to block 844 i think. its around wai kit's house. ate alot. crab, prawns, deer meat, chicken, hor fun, fried rice blah blah blah. lol. was so darn full.
walked back to tm. then slack. watch ppl close their shop. then walked annabelle home. ky, jun jie and me then went to the playground near belle's home to slack and talk. jm can't tag along cause he need to book in to camp at 7 am later on. lol. ky and jun jie listen to me rant and tried to consult and console me. haix.
anyway, some lame shit happened. justin smsed me this while we were crapping.
hey...tmr pool at eastpoint...meet at the bk there at 12 noon...plz inform me if u cmi...don't reply this msg...
lol, so we were thnking. how do we inform him if we really cmi? lol. lame sia. after that went home lor. later going out for pool again. selling my gc to kelvin at a discount price of $180. lol.
anyway. full force ranting. i don't know where to start lah ok? i don't know what happened. i was still finding a way out for us. trying my best. damn hard. haix.
i know. i can't give ppl attention at all. i'm a happy go lucky, bo chap, sit back relax and enjoy life kind of moron. i like freedom. i like being carefree. doing whatever i like. that's my personality. kelly on the other hand, is someone who needs a little more attention, is loving. so whenever i heck her and got a lil indulged in my own life and left her on her own. she will get confused and pissed at times. i can't make her happy lah. most of the time, frustration is what i gave her.
i hate this personality at times. but i can't help it. i developed this personality in this process call growing up. cause if i don't adopt this kind of attitude. i would have broke down long time ago. haix.
ok. since i'm old enough to remember anything. the only thing i remember about my still living grandpa is that he dislikes me. he will scold me whenever i'm not in the wrong. example, when i was watching american funniest home video with my siblings when they were young. my sis will scream when its damn funny. my grandpa dislikes ppl to scream. but instead of scolding my sis, i got the scolding. wth. been his punching bag since young. thats y whenever i visit my grandparents now, i only greet my grandpa and don't bother talking or socialising with him.
my grandma? no matter whatever went wrong, things spoil or what. top on her list. always is me. and when i told her it ain't me, she simply don't believe me. wakao. unfair lor. ok? but i still talk to her. cause she took care of me when i'm young.
my dad on the other hand. haix. nv like talking to me. talk to me like giving commands. then talk so nicely to my bro and sis. kena scolding, first in line. confirm me. phone bills over $90. kena scolding. sis phone bill over $100. i don't see anything. her's higher leh. i kena. win lor. what did i do wrong in my life? only my mum treats me nicely cause she knew all the shit i went through. haix.
then when i talk on the phone with kelly. my dad don't like it. then he'll scold my mum and tell her to ask me to stop talking on the phone. he got mouth don't wanna talk to me. go scold my mum for what? then my mum stuck in between. damn jia lat. always kena scolding. so i must refrain from talking to kelly. but, i will wonder if she's thinking too much or not. so go and call. mum kena again.
haix. when will i get away from this kind of life? i wanna break loose from everything for alot of times already, but whenever i thought of my mum, i will think thrice. sianned. that why i developed the happy go lucky personality. bo chap, forget things easily and fast.
so yah. to kelly, its not that i don't like you. i'm just considering on what to do. thats y i'm not so reactive and happy these few days. i'm trying to find a way out. and for the other day. i'm seriously fine. its just that i'm not happy because u are not happy. not that i'm puttin on a strong front like what u thought. not that i'm denying anything. its not the way u think and told ky. but haix. since everything ended. no use explaining. u mistook all my words.
for everything, i'm at fault. i'm sorry. i can't give u happiness. frustration and disappointment is all i know that i gave u. so yah, go on and find someone better and someone who suits u even more than me. i this kind of ppl, will only gave u headache like what i told u before. cause i can't devote 100% of my time to u and give u alot of attention. i seriously hope that u will find someone better. cause its proven i think. i'm not who u wanted.
and as for her friends who are angry with me. go ahead. u all have every right to do so. i don't expect u all to see things from my point of view. u all are not in my shoes. won't understand the shit i'm going through all the time.
and to those who will make dumb comments to me either in my cbox, through sms or online. pls save me some pain and refrain from doing it. cause i'm seriously not in the mood and will blow my top easily now. haix. think thats all liao.
thanks to the brothers who tried cheering my up. and this is a tribute to jun jie. for trying to cheer me up. lol. campfire song from spongebob squarepants in maple style. lol.
Monday, January 01, 2007
its 2007! a new year with an increased 7% gst! well, that sucks right? but what can we do? government says so, we just follow lor. anyway, a new year means reflection. yah, reflection on the past year. the already gone 2006.
here i go. hmmmmm, i did made a few big accomplishments in 2006. came off 2005 and entered class 4e. well. its not my choice. due to my poor maths results in 2004, the school placed me in class 3e which in turn will become class 4e. but still, i did enjoyed my time in 4e. with that crapper jun jie and all those crazy dnt students like justin, jing han etc. bunch of slackers.
well, 2006 was the first time i wore my red lanyard. yah the lanyard that signifies my power and authority as a staff sergeant. but still, above me, there will be some beings of greater power. the clts. yah. if i am not wrong. the second time i wore my red lanyard. i was pumped by my sir. sir zuotong. its the cca orientation day. we screwed it up. some miscommunication in our operations caused other cca group to think that we used bribery as a sort of gaining cadets. despite my firm ojections, the other bought pizzas. to objective of buying pizzas was to give the ones that put in effort during the orientation and maybe those that joined ncc land. but they got it all wrong and gave the sec 1 students to attract them to join. error in communication. the day ended with a one hell of a scolding with me going hard against sir zuotong. not a nice day to remember. we were already short handed and worse, our usm can't make it due to a workshop. so the rest of the staff had to take care of the situation with many inexperienced cadets running about.
our dear usm was having the adam khoo's workshop and came to have a look. but to his horror, sir zuotong was scolding us. he was shocked. utterly shock when we asked him to go away and treat that he saw nth. well. i should say we did not choose the wrong leader to follow. seeing us being scolded because of his mistake. he cried. well. we all did. 3 out of 5 of the staffs back then. elvis, ky and me. as for the other two. no comments. they took it like nth has happened huh?
anyway, around this time. my basketball idol, kobe bryant did something more than amazing. i was stunned too. on 22nd january 2006, kobe bryant scored 81 points against toronto raptors. second highest points scored in a nba match right after lengend wilt chmaberlain 100 points game. nice? kobe is pro man. too pro.
next was the adam khoo's workshop. should be a fortnight after the cca orientation day. or one week after. i forgot. lasted 3 days. it was on speed reading, mind mapping, o's study methods blah blah blah. and the big finale? a talk about family ties which sent everyone weeping. it did help us in bonding with family for awhile i guess. by the way, the speed reading and other study methods don't work for a slacker like me. a slacker has a slacker way of studying. =x
next should be the racial harmony day bazaar bah. if not wrong. well. that day was havoc. i did not help out at my class outlet at all. y? ncc was shorthanded on that day for carpark duties, i need to be there to inspect the juniors. only i was down there full time. lauzh, ky , elvis and jun liang need to help out with the class outlets. well. as usual, i complained. why does ncc land always have to do all these shit jobs? y not the ncc air? is it because we are a bronze unit and they were gold? well, on that day. had some fun too bah. my class had this dunking machine for the bazaar. we caught ky and dunked him. lol. fun sia. well. what can i say? being sabo and prank is the special privilege our usm always gets. lol. mass lan on that day. havoc sia. tonnes of guai lan-ing and xia lan-ing. as usual. all against ky. i think. he's tough man. always going up against all of us. lol. usm mah. should have more endurance than us.
up next. the advanced drill course aka supernumerary course. yah. the applicants of our unit, sir han teng, ky, me, zh, jun liang and elvis were all selected out of all the many applicants. it was a five day course i think. during that five days. we went through alot of drills classes and tests. we were being trained in sword drills, more complicated arm drills, colour aka flag drills, more complicated foot drills and lastly, slow march. well. i was separated from the others and was all alone in a platoon filled with strangers. well. after five days, my hardwork paid off. i got my yellow lanyard. well, its a good think we turned up for the course instead of running off and playing lan on the day of reporting.
hmmmmmm. what's next? let me think. well. yah. its april i think. she came back to me. yah. jasmine tan. well. what can i say? was so confused back then. she just broke with her ex. jonathan choo. and said she like me again? brothers told me i was a spare tyre until a better man comes along. but still. i started with her again. until may bah. we sort of ended.
anyway, around this time, my dear usm had a growing interest in a girl called wong xin yi and tries to get close to her, with the help of the kwa cousins. lol. never did we thought that this courtship will turn out to be one filled with many ups and downs. lol.
lakers got into the playoffs this seasons but didn't made it far anyway. was eliminated by the phoenix suns 4 games to 3 in the best of 7 series. kobe bryant led the league in scoring with 35.4 points per game but he was not named the mvp of nba. instead steve nash of phoenis suns was named the mvp, second time in a row.
also, around this time was the mid year examinations. the students from 4a to 4d were busily studying. but my brothers and i were slacking away. full time. our special talents. well. to my surprised, i got 2nd in class again this time. despite all the slacking. lol. not bad. quite a great achievement bah. lol.
well, during this period, something happened. dk was kicked out from the group. main cause? ky and me. haix. so sorry bro. we were wrong. in return, the masterplan was formed. clan heads or should i say high council members were sam, ky, me and wen jie.
after that 6th june 2006 was around the corner. plans? we decided to go to our ncc annual camp on 5th june with samuel and wen jie to celebrate 6th june. the so called devil's rebirth? aiyah. i am not satanic, i am not so sure. was chased out by mr rudy. so decided to go to samuel house to fool around. that day was fun. bbq-ing, jiao wei-ing and giving elvis a birthday surpirse. ky decided to confess to xin yi on this particular day too. he hoped that 666 will bring him luck. well. on 4th june 2006, talked to her and we sort of patch back again bah. anyway, that is not the main point. we played til almost 4 plus 5 in the morning, then we slept awhile. lol. ky and me bathe together. lol. shared a bathtub. lol. fun man. talked alot while we slacked in the bathroom for almost 2 hours. lol.
on 6th june 2006. everyone woke up. lethargic. sam and me went for dnt and was scolded for being so sloppy. lol.
during the june holidays, the masterplan high council members went on a trip to pulau ubin. to have fun and also to scout the area. be the pioneers. why? we would bring the rest of the masterplan members back here for fun. one day. we swore it in that day. anyway, we spent the day cycling. it rained in the night and we cycled in the rain to look for a shelter. it was freaking cold. spent the night under a shelter in the resort. one hell of a night.
after that? i spent almost all of my time with brothers. jiao wei-ing and doing dnt. during dnt, jun jie will get spastic when we all get tired. he's the source of fun in dnt. regret for not spending more time with him.
during this time, ky and xin yi progress alot. well, so like u all guessed. i spent most of my time together with them and the kwa cousins in their group outing, or should i say group date? well, i had nth better to do, so might as well help out my brother. its good to see a happy ending. well, it never came. haix.
everyone should be asking, what about my girl yah? well. here is my reason for not going out with her, first, its not like i nv asked her out. out of my 10 attempts from april to july, the results was, mission failed. i was too darn sianned after the chains of failed missions to even call her out again. so i decided to spend time with brothers instead. secondly, she and me was nv meant to be. we had a barrier. a barrier so great for me that i felt uncomfortable. i wasn't me in front of her. the full time jiao wei-ing guai lan slacker jeremy wasn't him at all in front of her. lol. maybe that's because we didn't know each other well at all bah. we started just like that, in a blink of an eye. can't blame anyone. in a relationship to me, there is no right or wrong, only fit or not.
i think it is during this time that we all got interested in fishing, so from there we bought two fishing rods and went fishing almost every weekends. lol. never really caught anything. we were noobs mah. lol. masterplan broke up soon after when wen jie and sam quarrelled.
came prelim bah. she told me that we should keep distance. well. i agreed. in order for her to concentrate on her studies. well. hard time for me. damn hard. anyway, full time slacking since june had became a habit. i can't get down to study. was so distracted with my relationship problems and also, my habit. so was deciding to flung my prelims where in turn, i got third in class. a miracle. yes. second time. luck was on my side. lol.
it is around this time that my brothers started to like playing basketball. so we started playing whenever we have the time. decided to accept jun ming as my one last final apprentice and impart him all my skills to make him more pro than me. lol. with a chance to play basketball almost daily, my long lost skills were slowly regained. during this point of time, i was on the way to regaining my skills while i was at my peak during sec 1. as according to justin, my three pointers improved to around the 60 to 75% range. i was happy, but i soon found out one thing, i really can't play basketball for long, my knee injury started to work up. still remember the sleepless nights due to the pain.
oh yah, before i forgot. there was a break in between the prelims exams, so we decided to celebrate xin yi birhtday at east coast. it was 1st september if i am not wrong. ky brought an ice cream cake to celebrate her birthday, sweet ain't he? but haix. it should be around this time that they ended. love huh? root of all heartaches. urgh.
after prelims came the real thing, the o levels. so everyone was studying even harder. due to the poor prelims results. teachers pushed us even harder. while. the others changed. but not me. i was slacking away again. same problems i faced during prelims kicked in. this time. its harder. we kept our distance still. for the fear that teachers will find out that she is in a relationship and if her mum finds out through our "caring" teachers. its her doomsday. lol. well. i got so pissed during those time. why? to prevent being suspect, she should keep distance from all the boys or just me alone? all the boys right? but nah. she kept distance from only me alone. was so pissed. anyway, ain't this even more suspicious? don't know, don't care, don't bother. it's all over what. just a reflection now. lol.
amidst the distance. i was even more pissed. i thought all along she wanted to study, so i nv disturb her. but in the end. she was playing gameboy advance all the while. almost blow up like a dormant volcano. an eruption from a dormant volcano is even more serious than an eruption from an active volcano. that's what i read and know. thanks to my superhuman effort to control my anger. i ended up giving her attitude only. but the aftermath was already very serious. wonder what will happened if i blew up then? lol.
anyway. we ended, ppl who read my previous post should already knew. o's came. i went unprepared. though the papers were sort of easy except for the physics paper. i am still very afraid now. what if i didn't reach my 14 point mark for l1r5? well. what can i say? you reap what u sow yah? i did not studied, so i should not expect any good grades. lol.
also, before i start my job hunt, the whoe gang went to pulau ubin again. further details about the trip is in the post dated 27th november 2006. =)
after o's i went to work. in fact the days i spent job hunting was even more than the days i actually worked. work for 8 days only. even up til now. i am still waiting for the fliers job. wonder when i can start work. anyway. since after o's, all our brothers did not meet up that often liao. all tied down by work. schooling is better still. cause we still can hang out. haix. nvm, if there's a will, there's a way. we can meet up if we made an effort to. yah?
thats the end of my reflection. so long year 2006 and wecome 2007. hope that everything will be better in 2007. let's hope so. let's hope.
anyway, before i go, its a new year. so i decided to try a new thing. i've added a statcounter in my blog on this new year day. bye ppl. gonna slack now.
here i go. hmmmmm, i did made a few big accomplishments in 2006. came off 2005 and entered class 4e. well. its not my choice. due to my poor maths results in 2004, the school placed me in class 3e which in turn will become class 4e. but still, i did enjoyed my time in 4e. with that crapper jun jie and all those crazy dnt students like justin, jing han etc. bunch of slackers.
well, 2006 was the first time i wore my red lanyard. yah the lanyard that signifies my power and authority as a staff sergeant. but still, above me, there will be some beings of greater power. the clts. yah. if i am not wrong. the second time i wore my red lanyard. i was pumped by my sir. sir zuotong. its the cca orientation day. we screwed it up. some miscommunication in our operations caused other cca group to think that we used bribery as a sort of gaining cadets. despite my firm ojections, the other bought pizzas. to objective of buying pizzas was to give the ones that put in effort during the orientation and maybe those that joined ncc land. but they got it all wrong and gave the sec 1 students to attract them to join. error in communication. the day ended with a one hell of a scolding with me going hard against sir zuotong. not a nice day to remember. we were already short handed and worse, our usm can't make it due to a workshop. so the rest of the staff had to take care of the situation with many inexperienced cadets running about.
our dear usm was having the adam khoo's workshop and came to have a look. but to his horror, sir zuotong was scolding us. he was shocked. utterly shock when we asked him to go away and treat that he saw nth. well. i should say we did not choose the wrong leader to follow. seeing us being scolded because of his mistake. he cried. well. we all did. 3 out of 5 of the staffs back then. elvis, ky and me. as for the other two. no comments. they took it like nth has happened huh?
anyway, around this time. my basketball idol, kobe bryant did something more than amazing. i was stunned too. on 22nd january 2006, kobe bryant scored 81 points against toronto raptors. second highest points scored in a nba match right after lengend wilt chmaberlain 100 points game. nice? kobe is pro man. too pro.
next was the adam khoo's workshop. should be a fortnight after the cca orientation day. or one week after. i forgot. lasted 3 days. it was on speed reading, mind mapping, o's study methods blah blah blah. and the big finale? a talk about family ties which sent everyone weeping. it did help us in bonding with family for awhile i guess. by the way, the speed reading and other study methods don't work for a slacker like me. a slacker has a slacker way of studying. =x
next should be the racial harmony day bazaar bah. if not wrong. well. that day was havoc. i did not help out at my class outlet at all. y? ncc was shorthanded on that day for carpark duties, i need to be there to inspect the juniors. only i was down there full time. lauzh, ky , elvis and jun liang need to help out with the class outlets. well. as usual, i complained. why does ncc land always have to do all these shit jobs? y not the ncc air? is it because we are a bronze unit and they were gold? well, on that day. had some fun too bah. my class had this dunking machine for the bazaar. we caught ky and dunked him. lol. fun sia. well. what can i say? being sabo and prank is the special privilege our usm always gets. lol. mass lan on that day. havoc sia. tonnes of guai lan-ing and xia lan-ing. as usual. all against ky. i think. he's tough man. always going up against all of us. lol. usm mah. should have more endurance than us.
up next. the advanced drill course aka supernumerary course. yah. the applicants of our unit, sir han teng, ky, me, zh, jun liang and elvis were all selected out of all the many applicants. it was a five day course i think. during that five days. we went through alot of drills classes and tests. we were being trained in sword drills, more complicated arm drills, colour aka flag drills, more complicated foot drills and lastly, slow march. well. i was separated from the others and was all alone in a platoon filled with strangers. well. after five days, my hardwork paid off. i got my yellow lanyard. well, its a good think we turned up for the course instead of running off and playing lan on the day of reporting.
hmmmmmm. what's next? let me think. well. yah. its april i think. she came back to me. yah. jasmine tan. well. what can i say? was so confused back then. she just broke with her ex. jonathan choo. and said she like me again? brothers told me i was a spare tyre until a better man comes along. but still. i started with her again. until may bah. we sort of ended.
anyway, around this time, my dear usm had a growing interest in a girl called wong xin yi and tries to get close to her, with the help of the kwa cousins. lol. never did we thought that this courtship will turn out to be one filled with many ups and downs. lol.
lakers got into the playoffs this seasons but didn't made it far anyway. was eliminated by the phoenix suns 4 games to 3 in the best of 7 series. kobe bryant led the league in scoring with 35.4 points per game but he was not named the mvp of nba. instead steve nash of phoenis suns was named the mvp, second time in a row.
also, around this time was the mid year examinations. the students from 4a to 4d were busily studying. but my brothers and i were slacking away. full time. our special talents. well. to my surprised, i got 2nd in class again this time. despite all the slacking. lol. not bad. quite a great achievement bah. lol.
well, during this period, something happened. dk was kicked out from the group. main cause? ky and me. haix. so sorry bro. we were wrong. in return, the masterplan was formed. clan heads or should i say high council members were sam, ky, me and wen jie.
after that 6th june 2006 was around the corner. plans? we decided to go to our ncc annual camp on 5th june with samuel and wen jie to celebrate 6th june. the so called devil's rebirth? aiyah. i am not satanic, i am not so sure. was chased out by mr rudy. so decided to go to samuel house to fool around. that day was fun. bbq-ing, jiao wei-ing and giving elvis a birthday surpirse. ky decided to confess to xin yi on this particular day too. he hoped that 666 will bring him luck. well. on 4th june 2006, talked to her and we sort of patch back again bah. anyway, that is not the main point. we played til almost 4 plus 5 in the morning, then we slept awhile. lol. ky and me bathe together. lol. shared a bathtub. lol. fun man. talked alot while we slacked in the bathroom for almost 2 hours. lol.
on 6th june 2006. everyone woke up. lethargic. sam and me went for dnt and was scolded for being so sloppy. lol.
during the june holidays, the masterplan high council members went on a trip to pulau ubin. to have fun and also to scout the area. be the pioneers. why? we would bring the rest of the masterplan members back here for fun. one day. we swore it in that day. anyway, we spent the day cycling. it rained in the night and we cycled in the rain to look for a shelter. it was freaking cold. spent the night under a shelter in the resort. one hell of a night.
after that? i spent almost all of my time with brothers. jiao wei-ing and doing dnt. during dnt, jun jie will get spastic when we all get tired. he's the source of fun in dnt. regret for not spending more time with him.
during this time, ky and xin yi progress alot. well, so like u all guessed. i spent most of my time together with them and the kwa cousins in their group outing, or should i say group date? well, i had nth better to do, so might as well help out my brother. its good to see a happy ending. well, it never came. haix.
everyone should be asking, what about my girl yah? well. here is my reason for not going out with her, first, its not like i nv asked her out. out of my 10 attempts from april to july, the results was, mission failed. i was too darn sianned after the chains of failed missions to even call her out again. so i decided to spend time with brothers instead. secondly, she and me was nv meant to be. we had a barrier. a barrier so great for me that i felt uncomfortable. i wasn't me in front of her. the full time jiao wei-ing guai lan slacker jeremy wasn't him at all in front of her. lol. maybe that's because we didn't know each other well at all bah. we started just like that, in a blink of an eye. can't blame anyone. in a relationship to me, there is no right or wrong, only fit or not.
i think it is during this time that we all got interested in fishing, so from there we bought two fishing rods and went fishing almost every weekends. lol. never really caught anything. we were noobs mah. lol. masterplan broke up soon after when wen jie and sam quarrelled.
came prelim bah. she told me that we should keep distance. well. i agreed. in order for her to concentrate on her studies. well. hard time for me. damn hard. anyway, full time slacking since june had became a habit. i can't get down to study. was so distracted with my relationship problems and also, my habit. so was deciding to flung my prelims where in turn, i got third in class. a miracle. yes. second time. luck was on my side. lol.
it is around this time that my brothers started to like playing basketball. so we started playing whenever we have the time. decided to accept jun ming as my one last final apprentice and impart him all my skills to make him more pro than me. lol. with a chance to play basketball almost daily, my long lost skills were slowly regained. during this point of time, i was on the way to regaining my skills while i was at my peak during sec 1. as according to justin, my three pointers improved to around the 60 to 75% range. i was happy, but i soon found out one thing, i really can't play basketball for long, my knee injury started to work up. still remember the sleepless nights due to the pain.
oh yah, before i forgot. there was a break in between the prelims exams, so we decided to celebrate xin yi birhtday at east coast. it was 1st september if i am not wrong. ky brought an ice cream cake to celebrate her birthday, sweet ain't he? but haix. it should be around this time that they ended. love huh? root of all heartaches. urgh.
after prelims came the real thing, the o levels. so everyone was studying even harder. due to the poor prelims results. teachers pushed us even harder. while. the others changed. but not me. i was slacking away again. same problems i faced during prelims kicked in. this time. its harder. we kept our distance still. for the fear that teachers will find out that she is in a relationship and if her mum finds out through our "caring" teachers. its her doomsday. lol. well. i got so pissed during those time. why? to prevent being suspect, she should keep distance from all the boys or just me alone? all the boys right? but nah. she kept distance from only me alone. was so pissed. anyway, ain't this even more suspicious? don't know, don't care, don't bother. it's all over what. just a reflection now. lol.
amidst the distance. i was even more pissed. i thought all along she wanted to study, so i nv disturb her. but in the end. she was playing gameboy advance all the while. almost blow up like a dormant volcano. an eruption from a dormant volcano is even more serious than an eruption from an active volcano. that's what i read and know. thanks to my superhuman effort to control my anger. i ended up giving her attitude only. but the aftermath was already very serious. wonder what will happened if i blew up then? lol.
anyway. we ended, ppl who read my previous post should already knew. o's came. i went unprepared. though the papers were sort of easy except for the physics paper. i am still very afraid now. what if i didn't reach my 14 point mark for l1r5? well. what can i say? you reap what u sow yah? i did not studied, so i should not expect any good grades. lol.
also, before i start my job hunt, the whoe gang went to pulau ubin again. further details about the trip is in the post dated 27th november 2006. =)
after o's i went to work. in fact the days i spent job hunting was even more than the days i actually worked. work for 8 days only. even up til now. i am still waiting for the fliers job. wonder when i can start work. anyway. since after o's, all our brothers did not meet up that often liao. all tied down by work. schooling is better still. cause we still can hang out. haix. nvm, if there's a will, there's a way. we can meet up if we made an effort to. yah?
thats the end of my reflection. so long year 2006 and wecome 2007. hope that everything will be better in 2007. let's hope so. let's hope.
anyway, before i go, its a new year. so i decided to try a new thing. i've added a statcounter in my blog on this new year day. bye ppl. gonna slack now.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
wow. today was one heck of a day. damn fun. damn nice. never been so relax and happy in a long time. lol. but the weather wasn't nice enough. it rained for almost the whole day.
ok. woke up at 10.30 in the morning. gave wen jie a morning call. then got ready to go out. met ky and wen jie at 12. had lunch at mac.
first stop of the day. accompanied wen jie to tm to buy his converse high cut shoes. steady man. damn nice. i want one too. but that's after i work. lol. i want a high cut and a skate shoe. after that, went to cs to try and search for ps3. no sign of it anywhere. maybe those shops haven't purchase any stock yet bah. heard that ps3 is low on stock. so from there, we took the mrt to queenstown and took bus no 51 to queensway shopping centre. accompanied ky there to buy clothes. hahahahaha. that place is like a maze man. we kept walking around in circles. hahahahahaha. ky bought two long sleeve shirts. quite nice. hahahahaha. oh yah, saw some nice three quarter pants too. will go back some other day.
next stop. went to peninsula plaza in city hall. lol. went there to search for my bass. the package was $250. consist of a bass, a 15 volt amp, a guitar strap and a casing. not bad. but no money. then went to black haven to look for the shirt brand call famous stars and stripes by travis barker from blink 182. lol. the shirts are nice man. 1 for $12. hmmmm. these are my motivation to work after O's. for my bass and for my clothings, i must pia! hahahahahaha.
from cityhall, we went to newton to eat dinner. wah. went we reached there. it was about 6 plus and the place was so damn empty. so we decided to sit down to crap and eat at the same time. hahahahaha. it was so fun. so long never had a good talk with brothers liao. today wil be better if more brothers were available. lol. we talked about everything under the sun man. hahahahahaha. had dinner until 8 plus lol. at 8 plus. that place was so crowded. and i think the stall venders there were quite pissed. because we sat there for 2 hours plus. lol.
so from there, we took the mrt back to tampines and decided to watch the covenant. heard that it was a nice movie. but overall, it was only average. the actors are handsome and the lead actress is chio. lol. the final part was abit like street fighter? lol. after watching the show. something cock up. annabelle called ky and told him that her room got one cockroach. and she was all alone at home. so she wanted him to go to her house to help and catch that cockroach. lol. so the three of us were all prepared to be pest terminator. lol. but on our way there. she said that her mum was returning home soon. so did not need our help anymore. hahahahaha. so went home straight. steady. reached home at around 11.30. hahahahahaha.
ok. seriously, i am really very happy that things turned out fine among our brothers and that we could be back united as one. and also. after all the things that happened these past few months, i do become more matured and learnt to look at many things from a different point of view. i also learnt to treasure my brothers more. about relationship, well, all i can say now is that. i am better off on my own now. until poly.
ok. woke up at 10.30 in the morning. gave wen jie a morning call. then got ready to go out. met ky and wen jie at 12. had lunch at mac.
first stop of the day. accompanied wen jie to tm to buy his converse high cut shoes. steady man. damn nice. i want one too. but that's after i work. lol. i want a high cut and a skate shoe. after that, went to cs to try and search for ps3. no sign of it anywhere. maybe those shops haven't purchase any stock yet bah. heard that ps3 is low on stock. so from there, we took the mrt to queenstown and took bus no 51 to queensway shopping centre. accompanied ky there to buy clothes. hahahahaha. that place is like a maze man. we kept walking around in circles. hahahahahaha. ky bought two long sleeve shirts. quite nice. hahahahaha. oh yah, saw some nice three quarter pants too. will go back some other day.
next stop. went to peninsula plaza in city hall. lol. went there to search for my bass. the package was $250. consist of a bass, a 15 volt amp, a guitar strap and a casing. not bad. but no money. then went to black haven to look for the shirt brand call famous stars and stripes by travis barker from blink 182. lol. the shirts are nice man. 1 for $12. hmmmm. these are my motivation to work after O's. for my bass and for my clothings, i must pia! hahahahahaha.
from cityhall, we went to newton to eat dinner. wah. went we reached there. it was about 6 plus and the place was so damn empty. so we decided to sit down to crap and eat at the same time. hahahahaha. it was so fun. so long never had a good talk with brothers liao. today wil be better if more brothers were available. lol. we talked about everything under the sun man. hahahahahaha. had dinner until 8 plus lol. at 8 plus. that place was so crowded. and i think the stall venders there were quite pissed. because we sat there for 2 hours plus. lol.
so from there, we took the mrt back to tampines and decided to watch the covenant. heard that it was a nice movie. but overall, it was only average. the actors are handsome and the lead actress is chio. lol. the final part was abit like street fighter? lol. after watching the show. something cock up. annabelle called ky and told him that her room got one cockroach. and she was all alone at home. so she wanted him to go to her house to help and catch that cockroach. lol. so the three of us were all prepared to be pest terminator. lol. but on our way there. she said that her mum was returning home soon. so did not need our help anymore. hahahahaha. so went home straight. steady. reached home at around 11.30. hahahahahaha.
ok. seriously, i am really very happy that things turned out fine among our brothers and that we could be back united as one. and also. after all the things that happened these past few months, i do become more matured and learnt to look at many things from a different point of view. i also learnt to treasure my brothers more. about relationship, well, all i can say now is that. i am better off on my own now. until poly.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
okok. just a few days and so much things happened. this past few months are very stressful and tough. things kept changing. and it's so hard to adapt to the changes.
first up, we ended. haix. her feelings faded once again. and i am really lost for comments. hmmm. after what happened. i don't know if i have faith in relationships anymore. my trust is always being betrayed. seriously i wonder, what is this thing call "love"? people outside my group are happily in love whereas my entire brothers including me, are being tormented by it. are we really so useless? or are we just not worthy to find happiness and be happy with that someone? good things are worth waiting for yah? but how long must we wait? how long must we be tortured in order to find it?
next, brotherhood. jm and i were backstabbed by him. now ky has became his victim too. what exactly in the world had we done wrong? we trusted him so much and yet he backstabbed us all at once. TRUST! what is it anyway? i know, we did something really very bad. to kick dong kai and sam out. but that doesn't mean we will kick him out too. i swore that no one is going out. and it will remain this way. this path is what he chose to take. this is what he force us to do. that day should come soon. to let him know he mess around with the wrong shit. someone had to put him in his place, and we are glad to do it.
this month is really hard. nth is right. O's coming and yet i am so distracted. i feel so lost. i got no directions now. what course am i going to take when i go to poly? what is the type of job that i am interested in? all of this, i still don't know. i am still at a lost. i thought i had found that motivation to press on. but that source left me lost with no directions.
this world is a screwed up place. there are so many hypocrites and backstabbers. i seriously don't know what to do with my life now. i am not in the mood to do any thing. i just want some peace. but there is no peace. my family is always quarreling lah. and my father said that my family is a mockery. haix. yah i agree.
damn. just god damn it. i wanna laugh. i wanna smile. but is there something to be happy about? she told me it's the way i look at things. damn. she is doing whatever she likes man. but i am having myself to go along with what people wants from me. i never want to see her sad. but she always do it to me. haix.
true bah. i heard someone saying this before. trust, faith and attachments to people will make one weak. i agree totally to it. if it ain't for all this stuff that cause me to lost faith and trust. i will still be happy and not feeling betrayed and inferior.
love to us are like a torture, we are suffering from it. loneliness is like a life sentence, we need someone special but we are always left on the shelf. we may appear to be strong and happy, but deep down inside, we are being tormented and crying. for all that is happening, well i guess this is growing up.
first up, we ended. haix. her feelings faded once again. and i am really lost for comments. hmmm. after what happened. i don't know if i have faith in relationships anymore. my trust is always being betrayed. seriously i wonder, what is this thing call "love"? people outside my group are happily in love whereas my entire brothers including me, are being tormented by it. are we really so useless? or are we just not worthy to find happiness and be happy with that someone? good things are worth waiting for yah? but how long must we wait? how long must we be tortured in order to find it?
next, brotherhood. jm and i were backstabbed by him. now ky has became his victim too. what exactly in the world had we done wrong? we trusted him so much and yet he backstabbed us all at once. TRUST! what is it anyway? i know, we did something really very bad. to kick dong kai and sam out. but that doesn't mean we will kick him out too. i swore that no one is going out. and it will remain this way. this path is what he chose to take. this is what he force us to do. that day should come soon. to let him know he mess around with the wrong shit. someone had to put him in his place, and we are glad to do it.
this month is really hard. nth is right. O's coming and yet i am so distracted. i feel so lost. i got no directions now. what course am i going to take when i go to poly? what is the type of job that i am interested in? all of this, i still don't know. i am still at a lost. i thought i had found that motivation to press on. but that source left me lost with no directions.
this world is a screwed up place. there are so many hypocrites and backstabbers. i seriously don't know what to do with my life now. i am not in the mood to do any thing. i just want some peace. but there is no peace. my family is always quarreling lah. and my father said that my family is a mockery. haix. yah i agree.
damn. just god damn it. i wanna laugh. i wanna smile. but is there something to be happy about? she told me it's the way i look at things. damn. she is doing whatever she likes man. but i am having myself to go along with what people wants from me. i never want to see her sad. but she always do it to me. haix.
true bah. i heard someone saying this before. trust, faith and attachments to people will make one weak. i agree totally to it. if it ain't for all this stuff that cause me to lost faith and trust. i will still be happy and not feeling betrayed and inferior.
love to us are like a torture, we are suffering from it. loneliness is like a life sentence, we need someone special but we are always left on the shelf. we may appear to be strong and happy, but deep down inside, we are being tormented and crying. for all that is happening, well i guess this is growing up.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
hmmmm. i accomplished something great today. i actually studied for 4 hours!
i am bored now so i guess i will write a post to burn my time. went to her blog and saw her blog post. "you knew", what is it suppose to mean? i am puzzled.
erm, i have straightened out my thoughts. O's is coming. she should be studying for it bah. so that explains why she is so off and why she talks so little to me bah. can't blame her, by right i should be doing that too. so! i am not going to disturb her until O's is over and have faith in her. just hope that she will remember me because i won't forget her. it's 30 days til O's is officially over. omg it's damn long. don't really know how i am going to survive. but how i am going to survive, next time then i huan loh. hahahahahahaha. hope she will jia you for O's and can go lasalle. it's her dream i think.
and while studying. i remembered those shits that i had done in my four years of ncc life! its damn fun and i have some amazing records with ky.
the most amazing record should be having ky, elvis and me climbing the wall 60 times in one minute. so average one of us should do 20 each. hahahahaha. miracle? impossible?. we did it man. we even exceed the demanded number of times. we climbed it 61 times.
why do we climbed it? it goes like this. i still remember that we were in sec 3. just took over the training. that day we were preparing for the total defence day performance. but we decided to let the cadets play soccer. ky and i don't play soccer. so we decided to sit by the curb beside our sch's basketball court to slack and talk crap. along came sir zuotong. he questioned us why we were not playing. we told him the truth. he decided to help us spend our time wisely. so he came up with the sadistic idea. as we walked towards the wall with him. ky and i were discussing how we could climb the wall 60 times in one minute.
elvis that strong cyborg saw us walking with sir zuotong and got curious. he ran towards us and put his hands around ky and my neck. he questioned us what we were gonna do. and so. he got the privillege to join in our record breaking attempt. hahahahahahaha.
ncc holds alot of fond memories for me. although i am not really committed to ncc and my reason for joining ncc is that i had nothing better to do, i will not forget the time i spent with my fellow cadets. i still remember the days that we were being tekan when we were PTE, being pumped when we were LCP, learnt when we were CPL, passed out as 3SG or 2SG. and for some others, wore the lanyard as SSG and strived to be supernumerarys.
it's the phase of my life that i grew and learnt the most. it's also the period of my life where i knew so many bros. bros that were so extraordinary.
people told us that when we reached sec 3, life would be different. power struggles will cause many ill feelings among us. yah it's true. it happened in other cca in our sch, but it never happened among us. to us, our leader will always be shamir and whoever that was elected to be the usm doesn't matter much. because we don't crave for the power, we just wanna spend time and have fun together. yah i know other uniform groups looked down on us because we were a bronze unit, but that doesn't matter, at least we strived and learnt together. be there for one another. was there to share each other's load. and ky, don't blame yourself for pulling ncc land back to a bronze unit. it's not your fault. it's everybody's fault. and what matters the most is the team spirit we had, the process and not the result. other uniform groups achieved alot. true, they showed results but they never enjoyed the process.
i am really glad that i joined ncc. not ncc air or sea. but the happy go lucky ncc land unit of dunman sec.
i am bored now so i guess i will write a post to burn my time. went to her blog and saw her blog post. "you knew", what is it suppose to mean? i am puzzled.
erm, i have straightened out my thoughts. O's is coming. she should be studying for it bah. so that explains why she is so off and why she talks so little to me bah. can't blame her, by right i should be doing that too. so! i am not going to disturb her until O's is over and have faith in her. just hope that she will remember me because i won't forget her. it's 30 days til O's is officially over. omg it's damn long. don't really know how i am going to survive. but how i am going to survive, next time then i huan loh. hahahahahahaha. hope she will jia you for O's and can go lasalle. it's her dream i think.
and while studying. i remembered those shits that i had done in my four years of ncc life! its damn fun and i have some amazing records with ky.
the most amazing record should be having ky, elvis and me climbing the wall 60 times in one minute. so average one of us should do 20 each. hahahahaha. miracle? impossible?. we did it man. we even exceed the demanded number of times. we climbed it 61 times.
why do we climbed it? it goes like this. i still remember that we were in sec 3. just took over the training. that day we were preparing for the total defence day performance. but we decided to let the cadets play soccer. ky and i don't play soccer. so we decided to sit by the curb beside our sch's basketball court to slack and talk crap. along came sir zuotong. he questioned us why we were not playing. we told him the truth. he decided to help us spend our time wisely. so he came up with the sadistic idea. as we walked towards the wall with him. ky and i were discussing how we could climb the wall 60 times in one minute.
elvis that strong cyborg saw us walking with sir zuotong and got curious. he ran towards us and put his hands around ky and my neck. he questioned us what we were gonna do. and so. he got the privillege to join in our record breaking attempt. hahahahahahaha.
ncc holds alot of fond memories for me. although i am not really committed to ncc and my reason for joining ncc is that i had nothing better to do, i will not forget the time i spent with my fellow cadets. i still remember the days that we were being tekan when we were PTE, being pumped when we were LCP, learnt when we were CPL, passed out as 3SG or 2SG. and for some others, wore the lanyard as SSG and strived to be supernumerarys.
it's the phase of my life that i grew and learnt the most. it's also the period of my life where i knew so many bros. bros that were so extraordinary.
people told us that when we reached sec 3, life would be different. power struggles will cause many ill feelings among us. yah it's true. it happened in other cca in our sch, but it never happened among us. to us, our leader will always be shamir and whoever that was elected to be the usm doesn't matter much. because we don't crave for the power, we just wanna spend time and have fun together. yah i know other uniform groups looked down on us because we were a bronze unit, but that doesn't matter, at least we strived and learnt together. be there for one another. was there to share each other's load. and ky, don't blame yourself for pulling ncc land back to a bronze unit. it's not your fault. it's everybody's fault. and what matters the most is the team spirit we had, the process and not the result. other uniform groups achieved alot. true, they showed results but they never enjoyed the process.
i am really glad that i joined ncc. not ncc air or sea. but the happy go lucky ncc land unit of dunman sec.
Friday, October 20, 2006
relient k - my girl's ex boyfriend
when he was seeing her
you could see he had his doubts
and now he's missing her
because he knows he's missing out
now it's haunting him
the memories like a ghost
he's so terrified
cause no one else even comes close
he's a guy that you should feel sorry for
he had the world but he thought that he wanted more
i owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend
so then along comes me
this undeserving mess (undeserving mess)
who would believe my life
would be so blessed (life would be so blessed)
two years ago
he left all that debris (left all that debris)
who would of known
it would be everything i need
he's a guy that you should feel sorry for
he had the world but he thought that he wanted more
i owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend
if it wasn't for him
i would still be searching
if it wasn't for him
i wouldn't know my best friend
if it wasn't for him
he would be able to see
if it wasn't for him
he would be as happy as me
she and i settled down you can bet
that he is going to have to settle for less
he's someone that i would hate to be
i got the girl and he's left with just the memory
he's a guy that you should feel sorry for
he had the world but he thought that he wanted more
i owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend
if it wasn't for him
i would still be searching
if it wasn't for him
i wouldn't know my best friend
if it wasn't for him
he would be able to see
if it wasn't for him
he would be as happy as me
hahahahahahaha. it's a nice song. seriously. hmmmm, actually i glad that i have her now. really. this song really reminds me of what happened to us. i don't really know what happened between her and her previous guy. but i am grateful for the mistake he made bah. if not i won't have her back. so! i must treasure her and give her my very best. i promise. =)
but i saw her blog post and in inferred that that previous guy is back. i'm a little afraid bah. but if she choose him over me. i will respect her decision. i think i won't blame her. everyone has the right to seek for their happiness and as long as she is happy. i am ok with it bah.
ok now, jun ming and ky are so good lah. know i was super bored at home so they called me out again. went to seoul garden to eat. went there at 2.30. left at 7 plus. nice. ate so much. while eating we discussed on a very urgent matter. an issue about brotherhood.
lately you seems weird. not just weird. damn weird. and something you did really piss me off. ok let's start from here. O's coming. you want to study. good for you ain't it? you said that those that are still hanging around don't know how to think. nvm. it's your point of view and i'm ok with it. i hang around but that does not mean i am not studying. i am trying to focus ok? so in order for you to focus, we decided not to call you out. right thing to do? or wrong?
so i don't know what we did that make you think that everyone in the world hates you. you wanna study we don't disturb you. that doesn't mean we don't treat you as one of us anymore. or you want us to call you eventhough we know you won't come out to show that we care? and end up letting you say us being not focused again? stop trying to act pathetic. it's getting on my nerves. everyone is stressed out. not just you.
and one thing, you caused us alot of problems. we are a very low profile group. after you came, your actions made us the centre of attraction and criticisms. people starts to think that we are a bunch of pervertic assholes who don't think when we speak. we accomodate with it and what else do you want? you always think that you are the best. criticising everything you think that ain't good enough to you in your opinion. but nvm, everyone has flaws in the characteristic. no one is perfect.
but now! you said you wanna form a band. you asked jm and me to join. we agreed. now you look for two members behind our back and said that we are just all talk no actions? you said that we are hanging around and don't know how to think. so you think that learning musical instruments before O's is sensible? where's your brain pal. and if you think that writing this in a blog is bitching around then you are wrong. it is better than you going around acting like one hypocrite. we don't want to kick anyone out anymore. and if you choose to drift away from us and drop out, we can't stop you. i swore that no one is going out but since you want it this way. i can't help it. just don't go around and said that we did this to you
when he was seeing her
you could see he had his doubts
and now he's missing her
because he knows he's missing out
now it's haunting him
the memories like a ghost
he's so terrified
cause no one else even comes close
he's a guy that you should feel sorry for
he had the world but he thought that he wanted more
i owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend
so then along comes me
this undeserving mess (undeserving mess)
who would believe my life
would be so blessed (life would be so blessed)
two years ago
he left all that debris (left all that debris)
who would of known
it would be everything i need
he's a guy that you should feel sorry for
he had the world but he thought that he wanted more
i owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend
if it wasn't for him
i would still be searching
if it wasn't for him
i wouldn't know my best friend
if it wasn't for him
he would be able to see
if it wasn't for him
he would be as happy as me
she and i settled down you can bet
that he is going to have to settle for less
he's someone that i would hate to be
i got the girl and he's left with just the memory
he's a guy that you should feel sorry for
he had the world but he thought that he wanted more
i owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend
if it wasn't for him
i would still be searching
if it wasn't for him
i wouldn't know my best friend
if it wasn't for him
he would be able to see
if it wasn't for him
he would be as happy as me
hahahahahahaha. it's a nice song. seriously. hmmmm, actually i glad that i have her now. really. this song really reminds me of what happened to us. i don't really know what happened between her and her previous guy. but i am grateful for the mistake he made bah. if not i won't have her back. so! i must treasure her and give her my very best. i promise. =)
but i saw her blog post and in inferred that that previous guy is back. i'm a little afraid bah. but if she choose him over me. i will respect her decision. i think i won't blame her. everyone has the right to seek for their happiness and as long as she is happy. i am ok with it bah.
ok now, jun ming and ky are so good lah. know i was super bored at home so they called me out again. went to seoul garden to eat. went there at 2.30. left at 7 plus. nice. ate so much. while eating we discussed on a very urgent matter. an issue about brotherhood.
lately you seems weird. not just weird. damn weird. and something you did really piss me off. ok let's start from here. O's coming. you want to study. good for you ain't it? you said that those that are still hanging around don't know how to think. nvm. it's your point of view and i'm ok with it. i hang around but that does not mean i am not studying. i am trying to focus ok? so in order for you to focus, we decided not to call you out. right thing to do? or wrong?
so i don't know what we did that make you think that everyone in the world hates you. you wanna study we don't disturb you. that doesn't mean we don't treat you as one of us anymore. or you want us to call you eventhough we know you won't come out to show that we care? and end up letting you say us being not focused again? stop trying to act pathetic. it's getting on my nerves. everyone is stressed out. not just you.
and one thing, you caused us alot of problems. we are a very low profile group. after you came, your actions made us the centre of attraction and criticisms. people starts to think that we are a bunch of pervertic assholes who don't think when we speak. we accomodate with it and what else do you want? you always think that you are the best. criticising everything you think that ain't good enough to you in your opinion. but nvm, everyone has flaws in the characteristic. no one is perfect.
but now! you said you wanna form a band. you asked jm and me to join. we agreed. now you look for two members behind our back and said that we are just all talk no actions? you said that we are hanging around and don't know how to think. so you think that learning musical instruments before O's is sensible? where's your brain pal. and if you think that writing this in a blog is bitching around then you are wrong. it is better than you going around acting like one hypocrite. we don't want to kick anyone out anymore. and if you choose to drift away from us and drop out, we can't stop you. i swore that no one is going out but since you want it this way. i can't help it. just don't go around and said that we did this to you
since i have nth to do at home, i am going to write a very long post. a post about my bros and some other stuff.
hmmm, 4 years in dunman had passed so quickly and during this phase of my life, many brothers walked into my life. shall start with sec one.
yah, new to the sch. a new life, a new routine, new friends, new environment etc. sec one and everyboy should be quite childish and playful then. got to be brothers with jun jie, kang soon and maybe jun huang. yah jun jie huh? til now it's 4 years of hardcore brotherhood. it's fun with him. never had we ran out of topics to crap about and best of all, we haven't get into a dispute yet. next kang soon, my basketball pal. yeah have good chemistry between the two of us and we seldom lose matches. maybe ppl give in to us because we're sec 1 boys but nvm, the time spent with him is fun. hahahahaha, til now i still feel quite guilty, because i will throw temper at him whenever he is not playing to my expectations. so sorry and i have been trying to keep that attitude under control after sec 1. lastly jun huang, he is polite and easy going but i don't know why we drifted away, maybe it's because of us having different cca.
so came sec 2, kang soon moved house and changed sch and i was not in the same class as jun jie. so i had to get used to a new environment again. that year came many trustworthy brothers. rc, ky and dong kai. rc, he is damn nice lah. given my introvert attitude, i was sitting at the back of the class by myself but he called me over to join him. since then we got closer and became bros. yah i trust him alot and the time we had was fun. talking cock during lessons, making so much noise, going to toilet and chit chat. until we got caught by mr bernerd. so new activities, sing song during lessons. fun man. just too bad, sec 3 we were posted to different classes and we have different cca. so got drifted away abit. ky and dk. got to know them when through jun jie. and ended up it was the three of us who were always together. they both were fun seekers. we usually prank and suan the hell out of each other. they were super spastic and its very fun with them.
came sec 3, after a long holiday break. ky, dk and me were even closer because during the holidays. we were practically spending everyday together. got into same class as jun jie so we were close again. this year, many new brothers joined in. jun ming, liang hao, josh, elvis, zheng hong and some other more inactive ones. all of them were fellow ncc cadets but this year was different. we were no more followers, we were leaders now. yah, alot of things happened, many obstructions and problems arose and kept coming towards us like waves. it is through our sharing of each others woes that we got very close. jun ming and liang were borned slackers just like dk, ky and me. so we hit in off just nice. zheng hong on the other hand, was still naive i guess, always being bullied by us and was the butt of our jokes. elvis codename cyborg, fun guy, strong and childish still. hahahahahaha. but we all respected him. he kept us moving in the correct directions. josh! the blurrest among us, his kwoky hair style is one of a kind and his is damn crappy just like the rest of us.
last but not least, came sec 4. dk was kicked from our group. i seriously don't know why. maybe i started it. maybe i am the main culprit. but still. i don't know what went wrong. so at the start of the year. it's only ky and me. yah. it's always the two of us. spending the night outside, going tm and slack or burning time on weekends. wen jie and sam came along. wen jie being brought in by ky. sam by me. they two were fun bah. but sam was kicked. it's the group's decision. mainly because he always affect our mood with his emotional swings when we have outings. and slowly, jm and liang joined in ky and my wasting time activities and soon we got very close. i really like having the four of us together. having jun jie in will be even nicer but his mum is very strict. i really hoped that the 5 of us won't split.
and i am grateful to you. yah you mr rudy and mr imran. although you two suck to the core. you are the primary reason for the unity of our ncc cadets. it brought us together when we went through thick and thin together. irony ain't it? being grateful to the people who cause us so much troubles, worries, distress and hussles.
also, shamir. although the rest of us tried to give you the best. although we always gave you hope. we always ended up disappointing you. yah. losing the orienteering competition, poor results for spec course, turning ncc land from a silver unit back to a bronze unit and the cca orientation day. we failed you so many times but you nv reprimanded us. i always wonder why. yah, if we can go through the sec 3 and 4 life again. i am sure everyone would wanna give you our very best one more time. thanks for leading us all the way and showing us the way out always.
seriously lah, i hate being left on my own. my thoughts will run wild. yah yah yah. i know. relationship is all about trust and faith. but i don't know how to put it lah. my faith is filled with doubts now. not that i wanna feel this way. but seriously. i am always thinking if whether my faith for her will be betrayed again.
last year she promised me that after eoy exmainations, we will be very close and spend time with each other or roughly something like that. i trusted her totally always. but so what if there is faith? can faith save me back then? all along when things are going downhill, i always trusted her, have faith in her. but we ended that holiday. i don't know what i am saying here lah. i am just ranting again. i wanna have faith in her wholeheartedly now, i really do. but i am still being haunted by what happened then. damn it. i need someone to help me staighthen out my thoughts or at least stop me from thinking so much.
people always say that if you treat people nicely and show them kindness, it will be return in two folds. that's bullshit cause it never happened.
hmmm, 4 years in dunman had passed so quickly and during this phase of my life, many brothers walked into my life. shall start with sec one.
yah, new to the sch. a new life, a new routine, new friends, new environment etc. sec one and everyboy should be quite childish and playful then. got to be brothers with jun jie, kang soon and maybe jun huang. yah jun jie huh? til now it's 4 years of hardcore brotherhood. it's fun with him. never had we ran out of topics to crap about and best of all, we haven't get into a dispute yet. next kang soon, my basketball pal. yeah have good chemistry between the two of us and we seldom lose matches. maybe ppl give in to us because we're sec 1 boys but nvm, the time spent with him is fun. hahahahaha, til now i still feel quite guilty, because i will throw temper at him whenever he is not playing to my expectations. so sorry and i have been trying to keep that attitude under control after sec 1. lastly jun huang, he is polite and easy going but i don't know why we drifted away, maybe it's because of us having different cca.
so came sec 2, kang soon moved house and changed sch and i was not in the same class as jun jie. so i had to get used to a new environment again. that year came many trustworthy brothers. rc, ky and dong kai. rc, he is damn nice lah. given my introvert attitude, i was sitting at the back of the class by myself but he called me over to join him. since then we got closer and became bros. yah i trust him alot and the time we had was fun. talking cock during lessons, making so much noise, going to toilet and chit chat. until we got caught by mr bernerd. so new activities, sing song during lessons. fun man. just too bad, sec 3 we were posted to different classes and we have different cca. so got drifted away abit. ky and dk. got to know them when through jun jie. and ended up it was the three of us who were always together. they both were fun seekers. we usually prank and suan the hell out of each other. they were super spastic and its very fun with them.
came sec 3, after a long holiday break. ky, dk and me were even closer because during the holidays. we were practically spending everyday together. got into same class as jun jie so we were close again. this year, many new brothers joined in. jun ming, liang hao, josh, elvis, zheng hong and some other more inactive ones. all of them were fellow ncc cadets but this year was different. we were no more followers, we were leaders now. yah, alot of things happened, many obstructions and problems arose and kept coming towards us like waves. it is through our sharing of each others woes that we got very close. jun ming and liang were borned slackers just like dk, ky and me. so we hit in off just nice. zheng hong on the other hand, was still naive i guess, always being bullied by us and was the butt of our jokes. elvis codename cyborg, fun guy, strong and childish still. hahahahahaha. but we all respected him. he kept us moving in the correct directions. josh! the blurrest among us, his kwoky hair style is one of a kind and his is damn crappy just like the rest of us.
last but not least, came sec 4. dk was kicked from our group. i seriously don't know why. maybe i started it. maybe i am the main culprit. but still. i don't know what went wrong. so at the start of the year. it's only ky and me. yah. it's always the two of us. spending the night outside, going tm and slack or burning time on weekends. wen jie and sam came along. wen jie being brought in by ky. sam by me. they two were fun bah. but sam was kicked. it's the group's decision. mainly because he always affect our mood with his emotional swings when we have outings. and slowly, jm and liang joined in ky and my wasting time activities and soon we got very close. i really like having the four of us together. having jun jie in will be even nicer but his mum is very strict. i really hoped that the 5 of us won't split.
and i am grateful to you. yah you mr rudy and mr imran. although you two suck to the core. you are the primary reason for the unity of our ncc cadets. it brought us together when we went through thick and thin together. irony ain't it? being grateful to the people who cause us so much troubles, worries, distress and hussles.
also, shamir. although the rest of us tried to give you the best. although we always gave you hope. we always ended up disappointing you. yah. losing the orienteering competition, poor results for spec course, turning ncc land from a silver unit back to a bronze unit and the cca orientation day. we failed you so many times but you nv reprimanded us. i always wonder why. yah, if we can go through the sec 3 and 4 life again. i am sure everyone would wanna give you our very best one more time. thanks for leading us all the way and showing us the way out always.
seriously lah, i hate being left on my own. my thoughts will run wild. yah yah yah. i know. relationship is all about trust and faith. but i don't know how to put it lah. my faith is filled with doubts now. not that i wanna feel this way. but seriously. i am always thinking if whether my faith for her will be betrayed again.
last year she promised me that after eoy exmainations, we will be very close and spend time with each other or roughly something like that. i trusted her totally always. but so what if there is faith? can faith save me back then? all along when things are going downhill, i always trusted her, have faith in her. but we ended that holiday. i don't know what i am saying here lah. i am just ranting again. i wanna have faith in her wholeheartedly now, i really do. but i am still being haunted by what happened then. damn it. i need someone to help me staighthen out my thoughts or at least stop me from thinking so much.
people always say that if you treat people nicely and show them kindness, it will be return in two folds. that's bullshit cause it never happened.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
yeah! the O levels is over! hahahahahaha. the prac only lah. but it do feels like the O levels is over.
the prac is ok. its quite easy but i screwed up my physics calculations part! omg lah, my maths seriously sucks. but nvm. what's done is done. so no point brooding over it.
after prac. went to eat at pastamania with jun ming, jun jie, ky and liang. hahahahahaha. everyone was high and started suaning each other. you know its kinda scary? its only a prac exam and everyone is so relaxed after it. what is gonna happen after the O's last paper i wonder.
so after eating, as usual. we just wanna hang around and don't go home. seriously lah, other than hanging around, what else can we do? we are just loners and slackers that need each other's company.
anyway, after eating. jun jie went home. the rest brainstormed on where to go. decided on two destinations - vivo city or sim lim square. we decided to flip a coin to decide where to go. hahahahahaha. three times it showed sim lim but we ended up in vivo city. lame right?
we took the train to harbour front and arrived at vivo city. first impression, its huge and classy. we went to look at computers stuffs in challengers. next, we walked around vivo city. there is a section on the 3rd floor that is totally outdoor and the best part, that is a very shallow pool there! so jun ming, ky and me pulled up our pants to have a nice scroll in the pool. fun man! and we pang seh liang hao. well actually, he chosed not to tag along. next, even more explorations, found another outdoor section on the 2nd floor that's facing sentosa. the scenery is nice and the haze makes it looks even nicer. seriously, i am starting to like the haze already. =x
we spent quite along time at the outdoor sections and talked abit. after that we went for a drink and it's home sweet home. nice day. really love my bros man.i sincerely hope and pray that we won't split up after O's
during our conversation, ky made this comment," the girl that should be here isn't here, but the want that should not tagged along always wants to".
yah, i agreed totally to it. i'm always wasting my time with brothers, never with her. it's really sad to say that she and me only went on 2 solo outings despite being together for one year. and everytime when i went to places that's fun, i will think about her, wishing that she is with me. but haix, the ones with me are always my brothers. not that i don't enjoy their presence, but it's always different with them and i do feel empty inside at times.
anyway, thought about gwee's question for me ytd night. yah i think i am happy with her when she is on bah cause i really enjoyed the times we had last year. but when she is off, it will be hell for me bah. so i guess it varies bah. there will be ups and downs in relationships at times.
but no matter what, i will still do what i must. mr lee wl told my dnt class that if you are in a relationship now, take good care of your partner. and i will do just that, to take good care of her and standby her.
it's just that sometimes i do wonder. if i am someone who she needs in her life or something that doesn't even affects her at all if i am gone.
enough of ranting, i am gonna slack and waste my time again. haix, still can't focus on studying and it's getting on my nerves.
the prac is ok. its quite easy but i screwed up my physics calculations part! omg lah, my maths seriously sucks. but nvm. what's done is done. so no point brooding over it.
after prac. went to eat at pastamania with jun ming, jun jie, ky and liang. hahahahahaha. everyone was high and started suaning each other. you know its kinda scary? its only a prac exam and everyone is so relaxed after it. what is gonna happen after the O's last paper i wonder.
so after eating, as usual. we just wanna hang around and don't go home. seriously lah, other than hanging around, what else can we do? we are just loners and slackers that need each other's company.
anyway, after eating. jun jie went home. the rest brainstormed on where to go. decided on two destinations - vivo city or sim lim square. we decided to flip a coin to decide where to go. hahahahahaha. three times it showed sim lim but we ended up in vivo city. lame right?
we took the train to harbour front and arrived at vivo city. first impression, its huge and classy. we went to look at computers stuffs in challengers. next, we walked around vivo city. there is a section on the 3rd floor that is totally outdoor and the best part, that is a very shallow pool there! so jun ming, ky and me pulled up our pants to have a nice scroll in the pool. fun man! and we pang seh liang hao. well actually, he chosed not to tag along. next, even more explorations, found another outdoor section on the 2nd floor that's facing sentosa. the scenery is nice and the haze makes it looks even nicer. seriously, i am starting to like the haze already. =x
we spent quite along time at the outdoor sections and talked abit. after that we went for a drink and it's home sweet home. nice day. really love my bros man.i sincerely hope and pray that we won't split up after O's
during our conversation, ky made this comment," the girl that should be here isn't here, but the want that should not tagged along always wants to".
yah, i agreed totally to it. i'm always wasting my time with brothers, never with her. it's really sad to say that she and me only went on 2 solo outings despite being together for one year. and everytime when i went to places that's fun, i will think about her, wishing that she is with me. but haix, the ones with me are always my brothers. not that i don't enjoy their presence, but it's always different with them and i do feel empty inside at times.
anyway, thought about gwee's question for me ytd night. yah i think i am happy with her when she is on bah cause i really enjoyed the times we had last year. but when she is off, it will be hell for me bah. so i guess it varies bah. there will be ups and downs in relationships at times.
but no matter what, i will still do what i must. mr lee wl told my dnt class that if you are in a relationship now, take good care of your partner. and i will do just that, to take good care of her and standby her.
it's just that sometimes i do wonder. if i am someone who she needs in her life or something that doesn't even affects her at all if i am gone.
enough of ranting, i am gonna slack and waste my time again. haix, still can't focus on studying and it's getting on my nerves.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
this is my first official blog post. =)
after much hesitation, i finally decided to start a blog. actually, i had already tried to start a blog at the start of the year, but due to some reasons. i decided to give up on it.
there are several reasons that inspired me to try and blog again.
1. several years down the road when i am old and gray. i can look at my blog to reminiscence about my past.
2. i can use this blog to rant on stuff that's bothering me.
3. this blog can be a very good medium for me to flame my bunch of prankster brothers. =)
4. maybe something bad will happen to me and i may have amnesia. so i can use this blog to help me regain some of my memories, at least.
5. khai yew is starting a blog too, so i start one to join in the fun. hahaha.
ok. so now let's get serious. woke up in the morning and jun ming called me. we decided to meet and burn our ample amount of time together with the other two slackers. ky and liang hao.
i was 30 minutes late and left liang hao waiting for us again. and something funny happened. my spastic usm decided the day before that he will not be needing his set of keys, so he decided to throw them into his letter box and ended up locking himself at home today. hahahahahahaha. fun ain't it? should try this if i have the chance too. so ky was left out in today's activities.
we went to jun ming house to slack. started playing x box first. well, ps is still better for me. hahahaha. then we started to create my blog. next, we played dota. omg lah, rusty rusty rusty. 2 months never play dota, my skills dropped drastically man. got pawned by insane ai! noob! haix, result of playing too much ps and talking too much online. hahahahaha.
ok that's all for the activities i did. now. gwee smsed me and said that she and jx are history lah. and she rant rant and rant. so i jus lac lac lac all the way. it's none of my business anyway. but she asked me one question that hit my deadlock. she asked me if i am happy with her. the her as in my special someone, not gwee. by right, the correct reply should be a yes without any hesitation, but my reply was i don't know.
seriously, that question made me thing alot. maybe i should think and reflect about it when i have nothing to do at home. tml is O levels prac and i am going to get some sleep if not tml i will be damn tired and blur. bye and goodluck my friends.
after much hesitation, i finally decided to start a blog. actually, i had already tried to start a blog at the start of the year, but due to some reasons. i decided to give up on it.
there are several reasons that inspired me to try and blog again.
1. several years down the road when i am old and gray. i can look at my blog to reminiscence about my past.
2. i can use this blog to rant on stuff that's bothering me.
3. this blog can be a very good medium for me to flame my bunch of prankster brothers. =)
4. maybe something bad will happen to me and i may have amnesia. so i can use this blog to help me regain some of my memories, at least.
5. khai yew is starting a blog too, so i start one to join in the fun. hahaha.
ok. so now let's get serious. woke up in the morning and jun ming called me. we decided to meet and burn our ample amount of time together with the other two slackers. ky and liang hao.
i was 30 minutes late and left liang hao waiting for us again. and something funny happened. my spastic usm decided the day before that he will not be needing his set of keys, so he decided to throw them into his letter box and ended up locking himself at home today. hahahahahahaha. fun ain't it? should try this if i have the chance too. so ky was left out in today's activities.
we went to jun ming house to slack. started playing x box first. well, ps is still better for me. hahahaha. then we started to create my blog. next, we played dota. omg lah, rusty rusty rusty. 2 months never play dota, my skills dropped drastically man. got pawned by insane ai! noob! haix, result of playing too much ps and talking too much online. hahahahaha.
ok that's all for the activities i did. now. gwee smsed me and said that she and jx are history lah. and she rant rant and rant. so i jus lac lac lac all the way. it's none of my business anyway. but she asked me one question that hit my deadlock. she asked me if i am happy with her. the her as in my special someone, not gwee. by right, the correct reply should be a yes without any hesitation, but my reply was i don't know.
seriously, that question made me thing alot. maybe i should think and reflect about it when i have nothing to do at home. tml is O levels prac and i am going to get some sleep if not tml i will be damn tired and blur. bye and goodluck my friends.
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