went to sch for english consultation today with jun jie. dong kai tagged along. as usual, we crapped throughout. hahahahahaha.
saw wen jie when we were leaving the sch. just a nod of acknowledgement between the two of us. why must things become like this? few weeks ago, we were still so close. calling each other "xiao eh" and "tao eh". did the lack of trust really destroyed our brotherhood? have things took a big cycle and went back to where we were when we were in sec 2? when wen jie and me were enemies?
back in sec 2, we had some bad blood between each other. because of a girl. yah. so back then, my head would be his prize and his ass being my victory. we want each other dead. gone from this world. soon things dead down. because i won the war? or maybe because he gave on hunting me down?
back to our own life. but it seems like it is destinied that our paths would cross again. this time. my brother rc wanted his ass and vice versa. early july. annual cross country. the showdown. almost got into a gang fight. wen jie's cliques versus dunman basketball team. i was there. rc apologised for what he did. it end. but from that day onwards. the tension was even more strained. i wanted his ass more. the victory would be mine. all mine.
came sec 3. damn. wonder if its heaven's will. we are in the same class. i still remember what rc told me. to control my temper. to call him for help if things went out of hand. i still remember. first day of sch. i was prepared for a brawl. one on wen jie's close friend. i was wondering if i would survive. being in the same class as him for 2 years.
a twist of fate? we got close. he wanted me to be his "tao eh". the strained ties. the bad blood. gone. a start of of a new page. a brotherhood. he was brought in by ky.
we had fun together. that night at samuel's house. 6th june 2006. elvis bdae was also around the corner. enjoyed that stayover. june holidays too. the night we spent on pulau ubin. the night cycling. the night that we endured the harsh rain on pulau ubin. that sleepless night. the promise to return there once again together. has it all become memories? or has it become some empty promises?
what caused him to commit those mistakes? to backstab us. to strike us down after what we did. it is all because of the lack of trust and the fear of being left out on his part. can i blame him for that? is it because we never reassured him enough? that he is one of us.
can everything go back to how it was? i don't know. i need an answer. a way out. someone show me the way. lost again i am.
fate? destiny? whatever you call it. are they the cause behind this? or are we the cause for it? should i just say too bad and let go? or should i rekindle this brotherhood again? like what happened to dk and sam?
things will never be the same the second time round.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
hmmmmmm, haven't been blogging for the past few days. partially because there is nth to write about and i had been busy studying. miracle?
hahahahahahaha. well. i think so too. jeremy lim. one of the biggest slacker had decided to get his ass down to study? hahahaha. its different this time. its the O's man.
until now. i had completed revision for combined science and humans only. maths i still need some revision and touching up to do. currently revising english. revision for poa and dnt will come after nov 10.
haix. confronted wen jie. yeah. its a thursday. october 26. we settled all the conflicts and i am not angry anymore. i thought that it will turn out to be a brawl. 3 on 1. ky, jm and me on him. but it was settled peacefully. we talked things out. i am just filled with sadness now. again this happened. why? i don't know how to explain it. dong kai and samuel were out, but after one big round. we became friends again. why are things always like this? is it a joke? or a test of trust and loyalty? if it is a test for trust and loyalty. did we failed terribly?
seriously, i sincerely hope that after all these shit. the rest will remain united. and i swear again. no one is going out. absolutely no one. and from today onwards. i will treasure my brothers more, i guess.
4 years in dunman, the friends that i had and constantly talk to. are so little. but they are the ones that are true to me, always been there for me. like jun jie, ky, jun ming, rc and all those ncc dudes. its always us yah? a small network of friends doesn't matter to me. most important is that we trust each other and are sincere towards each other.
talking about sincerity. hmmmmmmm. there is one dumbass i want to mention down here. lauzh. ok. first i start off by apologising to wen jie. sorry for maligning you about the all talk no action shit. its this dumbass that said it. now. lauzh. are you so great that you are in the position to comment on my actions? did you outperform me in anything? are you sure that i am a person who say one thing and don't carry it out? use that almost useless brain of yours and recall. who helped you during sec 3? to at least join in and stop the discriminations you got? if i am an all talk no action person. you are dead by now. if i am an all talk no action person. the promise that i made to you that everything will be just fine, will only be an empty promise. since i helped you, i never felt any sincerity from you towards our brotherhood. have you ever cared about our troubles?
and if your memory is not failing you. who tried their best to help you when you got into trouble with that sec 3 ncc air cadet? who ran around pleading teachers to let you off? who tried to save your ass? who type the letter for your defence? who went and confronted mrs neo and mr sim for you and put in good words for you? and how do you treat us? if you think by just being our slave will repay everyshit. then you are wrong. cause we helped each other do stuff. not only you. remember who saved your life back on mount ophir? and how you repay them? you said a grand meal for them. and you call a wow meal that cost only $2.55 a grand meal? now who is that shit bag that is all talk no actions? get this straight into your puny brain. you bite the hands that once helped you. you ingrate.
enough of ranting. hahahahaha. one good news for myself. i had gotten over her. fast? i agree too. its my fault for being so devoted in sec sch relationship. sec sch relationship never work out fine. everything can wait now. studying for O's and working for money after O's comes first.
now. got 3 music video from blink 182. hahahahaha. feeling this, first date and the rock show.
some trivial facts.
feeling this was written by having mark hoppus and tom delonge going into separate rooms without talking to each other. when they came out they realized they had both written about sex. when they put it together, the song represents the lustful side of sex on the verses, the passionate side in the bridge and the romantic side in the chorus.
the rock show was written by mark hoppus and first date by tom delonge on the same night after the producer for toypaj told them they needed some "feel good" songs on their record.
feeling this
first date
the rock show
some may take time to load. have patience and have fun enjoying their performance.
hahahahahahaha. well. i think so too. jeremy lim. one of the biggest slacker had decided to get his ass down to study? hahahaha. its different this time. its the O's man.
until now. i had completed revision for combined science and humans only. maths i still need some revision and touching up to do. currently revising english. revision for poa and dnt will come after nov 10.
haix. confronted wen jie. yeah. its a thursday. october 26. we settled all the conflicts and i am not angry anymore. i thought that it will turn out to be a brawl. 3 on 1. ky, jm and me on him. but it was settled peacefully. we talked things out. i am just filled with sadness now. again this happened. why? i don't know how to explain it. dong kai and samuel were out, but after one big round. we became friends again. why are things always like this? is it a joke? or a test of trust and loyalty? if it is a test for trust and loyalty. did we failed terribly?
seriously, i sincerely hope that after all these shit. the rest will remain united. and i swear again. no one is going out. absolutely no one. and from today onwards. i will treasure my brothers more, i guess.
4 years in dunman, the friends that i had and constantly talk to. are so little. but they are the ones that are true to me, always been there for me. like jun jie, ky, jun ming, rc and all those ncc dudes. its always us yah? a small network of friends doesn't matter to me. most important is that we trust each other and are sincere towards each other.
talking about sincerity. hmmmmmmm. there is one dumbass i want to mention down here. lauzh. ok. first i start off by apologising to wen jie. sorry for maligning you about the all talk no action shit. its this dumbass that said it. now. lauzh. are you so great that you are in the position to comment on my actions? did you outperform me in anything? are you sure that i am a person who say one thing and don't carry it out? use that almost useless brain of yours and recall. who helped you during sec 3? to at least join in and stop the discriminations you got? if i am an all talk no action person. you are dead by now. if i am an all talk no action person. the promise that i made to you that everything will be just fine, will only be an empty promise. since i helped you, i never felt any sincerity from you towards our brotherhood. have you ever cared about our troubles?
and if your memory is not failing you. who tried their best to help you when you got into trouble with that sec 3 ncc air cadet? who ran around pleading teachers to let you off? who tried to save your ass? who type the letter for your defence? who went and confronted mrs neo and mr sim for you and put in good words for you? and how do you treat us? if you think by just being our slave will repay everyshit. then you are wrong. cause we helped each other do stuff. not only you. remember who saved your life back on mount ophir? and how you repay them? you said a grand meal for them. and you call a wow meal that cost only $2.55 a grand meal? now who is that shit bag that is all talk no actions? get this straight into your puny brain. you bite the hands that once helped you. you ingrate.
enough of ranting. hahahahaha. one good news for myself. i had gotten over her. fast? i agree too. its my fault for being so devoted in sec sch relationship. sec sch relationship never work out fine. everything can wait now. studying for O's and working for money after O's comes first.
now. got 3 music video from blink 182. hahahahaha. feeling this, first date and the rock show.
some trivial facts.
feeling this was written by having mark hoppus and tom delonge going into separate rooms without talking to each other. when they came out they realized they had both written about sex. when they put it together, the song represents the lustful side of sex on the verses, the passionate side in the bridge and the romantic side in the chorus.
the rock show was written by mark hoppus and first date by tom delonge on the same night after the producer for toypaj told them they needed some "feel good" songs on their record.
feeling this
first date
the rock show
some may take time to load. have patience and have fun enjoying their performance.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
okok. just a few days and so much things happened. this past few months are very stressful and tough. things kept changing. and it's so hard to adapt to the changes.
first up, we ended. haix. her feelings faded once again. and i am really lost for comments. hmmm. after what happened. i don't know if i have faith in relationships anymore. my trust is always being betrayed. seriously i wonder, what is this thing call "love"? people outside my group are happily in love whereas my entire brothers including me, are being tormented by it. are we really so useless? or are we just not worthy to find happiness and be happy with that someone? good things are worth waiting for yah? but how long must we wait? how long must we be tortured in order to find it?
next, brotherhood. jm and i were backstabbed by him. now ky has became his victim too. what exactly in the world had we done wrong? we trusted him so much and yet he backstabbed us all at once. TRUST! what is it anyway? i know, we did something really very bad. to kick dong kai and sam out. but that doesn't mean we will kick him out too. i swore that no one is going out. and it will remain this way. this path is what he chose to take. this is what he force us to do. that day should come soon. to let him know he mess around with the wrong shit. someone had to put him in his place, and we are glad to do it.
this month is really hard. nth is right. O's coming and yet i am so distracted. i feel so lost. i got no directions now. what course am i going to take when i go to poly? what is the type of job that i am interested in? all of this, i still don't know. i am still at a lost. i thought i had found that motivation to press on. but that source left me lost with no directions.
this world is a screwed up place. there are so many hypocrites and backstabbers. i seriously don't know what to do with my life now. i am not in the mood to do any thing. i just want some peace. but there is no peace. my family is always quarreling lah. and my father said that my family is a mockery. haix. yah i agree.
damn. just god damn it. i wanna laugh. i wanna smile. but is there something to be happy about? she told me it's the way i look at things. damn. she is doing whatever she likes man. but i am having myself to go along with what people wants from me. i never want to see her sad. but she always do it to me. haix.
true bah. i heard someone saying this before. trust, faith and attachments to people will make one weak. i agree totally to it. if it ain't for all this stuff that cause me to lost faith and trust. i will still be happy and not feeling betrayed and inferior.
love to us are like a torture, we are suffering from it. loneliness is like a life sentence, we need someone special but we are always left on the shelf. we may appear to be strong and happy, but deep down inside, we are being tormented and crying. for all that is happening, well i guess this is growing up.
first up, we ended. haix. her feelings faded once again. and i am really lost for comments. hmmm. after what happened. i don't know if i have faith in relationships anymore. my trust is always being betrayed. seriously i wonder, what is this thing call "love"? people outside my group are happily in love whereas my entire brothers including me, are being tormented by it. are we really so useless? or are we just not worthy to find happiness and be happy with that someone? good things are worth waiting for yah? but how long must we wait? how long must we be tortured in order to find it?
next, brotherhood. jm and i were backstabbed by him. now ky has became his victim too. what exactly in the world had we done wrong? we trusted him so much and yet he backstabbed us all at once. TRUST! what is it anyway? i know, we did something really very bad. to kick dong kai and sam out. but that doesn't mean we will kick him out too. i swore that no one is going out. and it will remain this way. this path is what he chose to take. this is what he force us to do. that day should come soon. to let him know he mess around with the wrong shit. someone had to put him in his place, and we are glad to do it.
this month is really hard. nth is right. O's coming and yet i am so distracted. i feel so lost. i got no directions now. what course am i going to take when i go to poly? what is the type of job that i am interested in? all of this, i still don't know. i am still at a lost. i thought i had found that motivation to press on. but that source left me lost with no directions.
this world is a screwed up place. there are so many hypocrites and backstabbers. i seriously don't know what to do with my life now. i am not in the mood to do any thing. i just want some peace. but there is no peace. my family is always quarreling lah. and my father said that my family is a mockery. haix. yah i agree.
damn. just god damn it. i wanna laugh. i wanna smile. but is there something to be happy about? she told me it's the way i look at things. damn. she is doing whatever she likes man. but i am having myself to go along with what people wants from me. i never want to see her sad. but she always do it to me. haix.
true bah. i heard someone saying this before. trust, faith and attachments to people will make one weak. i agree totally to it. if it ain't for all this stuff that cause me to lost faith and trust. i will still be happy and not feeling betrayed and inferior.
love to us are like a torture, we are suffering from it. loneliness is like a life sentence, we need someone special but we are always left on the shelf. we may appear to be strong and happy, but deep down inside, we are being tormented and crying. for all that is happening, well i guess this is growing up.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
hmmmm. i accomplished something great today. i actually studied for 4 hours!
i am bored now so i guess i will write a post to burn my time. went to her blog and saw her blog post. "you knew", what is it suppose to mean? i am puzzled.
erm, i have straightened out my thoughts. O's is coming. she should be studying for it bah. so that explains why she is so off and why she talks so little to me bah. can't blame her, by right i should be doing that too. so! i am not going to disturb her until O's is over and have faith in her. just hope that she will remember me because i won't forget her. it's 30 days til O's is officially over. omg it's damn long. don't really know how i am going to survive. but how i am going to survive, next time then i huan loh. hahahahahahaha. hope she will jia you for O's and can go lasalle. it's her dream i think.
and while studying. i remembered those shits that i had done in my four years of ncc life! its damn fun and i have some amazing records with ky.
the most amazing record should be having ky, elvis and me climbing the wall 60 times in one minute. so average one of us should do 20 each. hahahahaha. miracle? impossible?. we did it man. we even exceed the demanded number of times. we climbed it 61 times.
why do we climbed it? it goes like this. i still remember that we were in sec 3. just took over the training. that day we were preparing for the total defence day performance. but we decided to let the cadets play soccer. ky and i don't play soccer. so we decided to sit by the curb beside our sch's basketball court to slack and talk crap. along came sir zuotong. he questioned us why we were not playing. we told him the truth. he decided to help us spend our time wisely. so he came up with the sadistic idea. as we walked towards the wall with him. ky and i were discussing how we could climb the wall 60 times in one minute.
elvis that strong cyborg saw us walking with sir zuotong and got curious. he ran towards us and put his hands around ky and my neck. he questioned us what we were gonna do. and so. he got the privillege to join in our record breaking attempt. hahahahahahaha.
ncc holds alot of fond memories for me. although i am not really committed to ncc and my reason for joining ncc is that i had nothing better to do, i will not forget the time i spent with my fellow cadets. i still remember the days that we were being tekan when we were PTE, being pumped when we were LCP, learnt when we were CPL, passed out as 3SG or 2SG. and for some others, wore the lanyard as SSG and strived to be supernumerarys.
it's the phase of my life that i grew and learnt the most. it's also the period of my life where i knew so many bros. bros that were so extraordinary.
people told us that when we reached sec 3, life would be different. power struggles will cause many ill feelings among us. yah it's true. it happened in other cca in our sch, but it never happened among us. to us, our leader will always be shamir and whoever that was elected to be the usm doesn't matter much. because we don't crave for the power, we just wanna spend time and have fun together. yah i know other uniform groups looked down on us because we were a bronze unit, but that doesn't matter, at least we strived and learnt together. be there for one another. was there to share each other's load. and ky, don't blame yourself for pulling ncc land back to a bronze unit. it's not your fault. it's everybody's fault. and what matters the most is the team spirit we had, the process and not the result. other uniform groups achieved alot. true, they showed results but they never enjoyed the process.
i am really glad that i joined ncc. not ncc air or sea. but the happy go lucky ncc land unit of dunman sec.
i am bored now so i guess i will write a post to burn my time. went to her blog and saw her blog post. "you knew", what is it suppose to mean? i am puzzled.
erm, i have straightened out my thoughts. O's is coming. she should be studying for it bah. so that explains why she is so off and why she talks so little to me bah. can't blame her, by right i should be doing that too. so! i am not going to disturb her until O's is over and have faith in her. just hope that she will remember me because i won't forget her. it's 30 days til O's is officially over. omg it's damn long. don't really know how i am going to survive. but how i am going to survive, next time then i huan loh. hahahahahahaha. hope she will jia you for O's and can go lasalle. it's her dream i think.
and while studying. i remembered those shits that i had done in my four years of ncc life! its damn fun and i have some amazing records with ky.
the most amazing record should be having ky, elvis and me climbing the wall 60 times in one minute. so average one of us should do 20 each. hahahahaha. miracle? impossible?. we did it man. we even exceed the demanded number of times. we climbed it 61 times.
why do we climbed it? it goes like this. i still remember that we were in sec 3. just took over the training. that day we were preparing for the total defence day performance. but we decided to let the cadets play soccer. ky and i don't play soccer. so we decided to sit by the curb beside our sch's basketball court to slack and talk crap. along came sir zuotong. he questioned us why we were not playing. we told him the truth. he decided to help us spend our time wisely. so he came up with the sadistic idea. as we walked towards the wall with him. ky and i were discussing how we could climb the wall 60 times in one minute.
elvis that strong cyborg saw us walking with sir zuotong and got curious. he ran towards us and put his hands around ky and my neck. he questioned us what we were gonna do. and so. he got the privillege to join in our record breaking attempt. hahahahahahaha.
ncc holds alot of fond memories for me. although i am not really committed to ncc and my reason for joining ncc is that i had nothing better to do, i will not forget the time i spent with my fellow cadets. i still remember the days that we were being tekan when we were PTE, being pumped when we were LCP, learnt when we were CPL, passed out as 3SG or 2SG. and for some others, wore the lanyard as SSG and strived to be supernumerarys.
it's the phase of my life that i grew and learnt the most. it's also the period of my life where i knew so many bros. bros that were so extraordinary.
people told us that when we reached sec 3, life would be different. power struggles will cause many ill feelings among us. yah it's true. it happened in other cca in our sch, but it never happened among us. to us, our leader will always be shamir and whoever that was elected to be the usm doesn't matter much. because we don't crave for the power, we just wanna spend time and have fun together. yah i know other uniform groups looked down on us because we were a bronze unit, but that doesn't matter, at least we strived and learnt together. be there for one another. was there to share each other's load. and ky, don't blame yourself for pulling ncc land back to a bronze unit. it's not your fault. it's everybody's fault. and what matters the most is the team spirit we had, the process and not the result. other uniform groups achieved alot. true, they showed results but they never enjoyed the process.
i am really glad that i joined ncc. not ncc air or sea. but the happy go lucky ncc land unit of dunman sec.
Friday, October 20, 2006
relient k - my girl's ex boyfriend
when he was seeing her
you could see he had his doubts
and now he's missing her
because he knows he's missing out
now it's haunting him
the memories like a ghost
he's so terrified
cause no one else even comes close
he's a guy that you should feel sorry for
he had the world but he thought that he wanted more
i owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend
so then along comes me
this undeserving mess (undeserving mess)
who would believe my life
would be so blessed (life would be so blessed)
two years ago
he left all that debris (left all that debris)
who would of known
it would be everything i need
he's a guy that you should feel sorry for
he had the world but he thought that he wanted more
i owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend
if it wasn't for him
i would still be searching
if it wasn't for him
i wouldn't know my best friend
if it wasn't for him
he would be able to see
if it wasn't for him
he would be as happy as me
she and i settled down you can bet
that he is going to have to settle for less
he's someone that i would hate to be
i got the girl and he's left with just the memory
he's a guy that you should feel sorry for
he had the world but he thought that he wanted more
i owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend
if it wasn't for him
i would still be searching
if it wasn't for him
i wouldn't know my best friend
if it wasn't for him
he would be able to see
if it wasn't for him
he would be as happy as me
hahahahahahaha. it's a nice song. seriously. hmmmm, actually i glad that i have her now. really. this song really reminds me of what happened to us. i don't really know what happened between her and her previous guy. but i am grateful for the mistake he made bah. if not i won't have her back. so! i must treasure her and give her my very best. i promise. =)
but i saw her blog post and in inferred that that previous guy is back. i'm a little afraid bah. but if she choose him over me. i will respect her decision. i think i won't blame her. everyone has the right to seek for their happiness and as long as she is happy. i am ok with it bah.
ok now, jun ming and ky are so good lah. know i was super bored at home so they called me out again. went to seoul garden to eat. went there at 2.30. left at 7 plus. nice. ate so much. while eating we discussed on a very urgent matter. an issue about brotherhood.
lately you seems weird. not just weird. damn weird. and something you did really piss me off. ok let's start from here. O's coming. you want to study. good for you ain't it? you said that those that are still hanging around don't know how to think. nvm. it's your point of view and i'm ok with it. i hang around but that does not mean i am not studying. i am trying to focus ok? so in order for you to focus, we decided not to call you out. right thing to do? or wrong?
so i don't know what we did that make you think that everyone in the world hates you. you wanna study we don't disturb you. that doesn't mean we don't treat you as one of us anymore. or you want us to call you eventhough we know you won't come out to show that we care? and end up letting you say us being not focused again? stop trying to act pathetic. it's getting on my nerves. everyone is stressed out. not just you.
and one thing, you caused us alot of problems. we are a very low profile group. after you came, your actions made us the centre of attraction and criticisms. people starts to think that we are a bunch of pervertic assholes who don't think when we speak. we accomodate with it and what else do you want? you always think that you are the best. criticising everything you think that ain't good enough to you in your opinion. but nvm, everyone has flaws in the characteristic. no one is perfect.
but now! you said you wanna form a band. you asked jm and me to join. we agreed. now you look for two members behind our back and said that we are just all talk no actions? you said that we are hanging around and don't know how to think. so you think that learning musical instruments before O's is sensible? where's your brain pal. and if you think that writing this in a blog is bitching around then you are wrong. it is better than you going around acting like one hypocrite. we don't want to kick anyone out anymore. and if you choose to drift away from us and drop out, we can't stop you. i swore that no one is going out but since you want it this way. i can't help it. just don't go around and said that we did this to you
when he was seeing her
you could see he had his doubts
and now he's missing her
because he knows he's missing out
now it's haunting him
the memories like a ghost
he's so terrified
cause no one else even comes close
he's a guy that you should feel sorry for
he had the world but he thought that he wanted more
i owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend
so then along comes me
this undeserving mess (undeserving mess)
who would believe my life
would be so blessed (life would be so blessed)
two years ago
he left all that debris (left all that debris)
who would of known
it would be everything i need
he's a guy that you should feel sorry for
he had the world but he thought that he wanted more
i owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend
if it wasn't for him
i would still be searching
if it wasn't for him
i wouldn't know my best friend
if it wasn't for him
he would be able to see
if it wasn't for him
he would be as happy as me
she and i settled down you can bet
that he is going to have to settle for less
he's someone that i would hate to be
i got the girl and he's left with just the memory
he's a guy that you should feel sorry for
he had the world but he thought that he wanted more
i owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
i owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend
if it wasn't for him
i would still be searching
if it wasn't for him
i wouldn't know my best friend
if it wasn't for him
he would be able to see
if it wasn't for him
he would be as happy as me
hahahahahahaha. it's a nice song. seriously. hmmmm, actually i glad that i have her now. really. this song really reminds me of what happened to us. i don't really know what happened between her and her previous guy. but i am grateful for the mistake he made bah. if not i won't have her back. so! i must treasure her and give her my very best. i promise. =)
but i saw her blog post and in inferred that that previous guy is back. i'm a little afraid bah. but if she choose him over me. i will respect her decision. i think i won't blame her. everyone has the right to seek for their happiness and as long as she is happy. i am ok with it bah.
ok now, jun ming and ky are so good lah. know i was super bored at home so they called me out again. went to seoul garden to eat. went there at 2.30. left at 7 plus. nice. ate so much. while eating we discussed on a very urgent matter. an issue about brotherhood.
lately you seems weird. not just weird. damn weird. and something you did really piss me off. ok let's start from here. O's coming. you want to study. good for you ain't it? you said that those that are still hanging around don't know how to think. nvm. it's your point of view and i'm ok with it. i hang around but that does not mean i am not studying. i am trying to focus ok? so in order for you to focus, we decided not to call you out. right thing to do? or wrong?
so i don't know what we did that make you think that everyone in the world hates you. you wanna study we don't disturb you. that doesn't mean we don't treat you as one of us anymore. or you want us to call you eventhough we know you won't come out to show that we care? and end up letting you say us being not focused again? stop trying to act pathetic. it's getting on my nerves. everyone is stressed out. not just you.
and one thing, you caused us alot of problems. we are a very low profile group. after you came, your actions made us the centre of attraction and criticisms. people starts to think that we are a bunch of pervertic assholes who don't think when we speak. we accomodate with it and what else do you want? you always think that you are the best. criticising everything you think that ain't good enough to you in your opinion. but nvm, everyone has flaws in the characteristic. no one is perfect.
but now! you said you wanna form a band. you asked jm and me to join. we agreed. now you look for two members behind our back and said that we are just all talk no actions? you said that we are hanging around and don't know how to think. so you think that learning musical instruments before O's is sensible? where's your brain pal. and if you think that writing this in a blog is bitching around then you are wrong. it is better than you going around acting like one hypocrite. we don't want to kick anyone out anymore. and if you choose to drift away from us and drop out, we can't stop you. i swore that no one is going out but since you want it this way. i can't help it. just don't go around and said that we did this to you
since i have nth to do at home, i am going to write a very long post. a post about my bros and some other stuff.
hmmm, 4 years in dunman had passed so quickly and during this phase of my life, many brothers walked into my life. shall start with sec one.
yah, new to the sch. a new life, a new routine, new friends, new environment etc. sec one and everyboy should be quite childish and playful then. got to be brothers with jun jie, kang soon and maybe jun huang. yah jun jie huh? til now it's 4 years of hardcore brotherhood. it's fun with him. never had we ran out of topics to crap about and best of all, we haven't get into a dispute yet. next kang soon, my basketball pal. yeah have good chemistry between the two of us and we seldom lose matches. maybe ppl give in to us because we're sec 1 boys but nvm, the time spent with him is fun. hahahahaha, til now i still feel quite guilty, because i will throw temper at him whenever he is not playing to my expectations. so sorry and i have been trying to keep that attitude under control after sec 1. lastly jun huang, he is polite and easy going but i don't know why we drifted away, maybe it's because of us having different cca.
so came sec 2, kang soon moved house and changed sch and i was not in the same class as jun jie. so i had to get used to a new environment again. that year came many trustworthy brothers. rc, ky and dong kai. rc, he is damn nice lah. given my introvert attitude, i was sitting at the back of the class by myself but he called me over to join him. since then we got closer and became bros. yah i trust him alot and the time we had was fun. talking cock during lessons, making so much noise, going to toilet and chit chat. until we got caught by mr bernerd. so new activities, sing song during lessons. fun man. just too bad, sec 3 we were posted to different classes and we have different cca. so got drifted away abit. ky and dk. got to know them when through jun jie. and ended up it was the three of us who were always together. they both were fun seekers. we usually prank and suan the hell out of each other. they were super spastic and its very fun with them.
came sec 3, after a long holiday break. ky, dk and me were even closer because during the holidays. we were practically spending everyday together. got into same class as jun jie so we were close again. this year, many new brothers joined in. jun ming, liang hao, josh, elvis, zheng hong and some other more inactive ones. all of them were fellow ncc cadets but this year was different. we were no more followers, we were leaders now. yah, alot of things happened, many obstructions and problems arose and kept coming towards us like waves. it is through our sharing of each others woes that we got very close. jun ming and liang were borned slackers just like dk, ky and me. so we hit in off just nice. zheng hong on the other hand, was still naive i guess, always being bullied by us and was the butt of our jokes. elvis codename cyborg, fun guy, strong and childish still. hahahahahaha. but we all respected him. he kept us moving in the correct directions. josh! the blurrest among us, his kwoky hair style is one of a kind and his is damn crappy just like the rest of us.
last but not least, came sec 4. dk was kicked from our group. i seriously don't know why. maybe i started it. maybe i am the main culprit. but still. i don't know what went wrong. so at the start of the year. it's only ky and me. yah. it's always the two of us. spending the night outside, going tm and slack or burning time on weekends. wen jie and sam came along. wen jie being brought in by ky. sam by me. they two were fun bah. but sam was kicked. it's the group's decision. mainly because he always affect our mood with his emotional swings when we have outings. and slowly, jm and liang joined in ky and my wasting time activities and soon we got very close. i really like having the four of us together. having jun jie in will be even nicer but his mum is very strict. i really hoped that the 5 of us won't split.
and i am grateful to you. yah you mr rudy and mr imran. although you two suck to the core. you are the primary reason for the unity of our ncc cadets. it brought us together when we went through thick and thin together. irony ain't it? being grateful to the people who cause us so much troubles, worries, distress and hussles.
also, shamir. although the rest of us tried to give you the best. although we always gave you hope. we always ended up disappointing you. yah. losing the orienteering competition, poor results for spec course, turning ncc land from a silver unit back to a bronze unit and the cca orientation day. we failed you so many times but you nv reprimanded us. i always wonder why. yah, if we can go through the sec 3 and 4 life again. i am sure everyone would wanna give you our very best one more time. thanks for leading us all the way and showing us the way out always.
seriously lah, i hate being left on my own. my thoughts will run wild. yah yah yah. i know. relationship is all about trust and faith. but i don't know how to put it lah. my faith is filled with doubts now. not that i wanna feel this way. but seriously. i am always thinking if whether my faith for her will be betrayed again.
last year she promised me that after eoy exmainations, we will be very close and spend time with each other or roughly something like that. i trusted her totally always. but so what if there is faith? can faith save me back then? all along when things are going downhill, i always trusted her, have faith in her. but we ended that holiday. i don't know what i am saying here lah. i am just ranting again. i wanna have faith in her wholeheartedly now, i really do. but i am still being haunted by what happened then. damn it. i need someone to help me staighthen out my thoughts or at least stop me from thinking so much.
people always say that if you treat people nicely and show them kindness, it will be return in two folds. that's bullshit cause it never happened.
hmmm, 4 years in dunman had passed so quickly and during this phase of my life, many brothers walked into my life. shall start with sec one.
yah, new to the sch. a new life, a new routine, new friends, new environment etc. sec one and everyboy should be quite childish and playful then. got to be brothers with jun jie, kang soon and maybe jun huang. yah jun jie huh? til now it's 4 years of hardcore brotherhood. it's fun with him. never had we ran out of topics to crap about and best of all, we haven't get into a dispute yet. next kang soon, my basketball pal. yeah have good chemistry between the two of us and we seldom lose matches. maybe ppl give in to us because we're sec 1 boys but nvm, the time spent with him is fun. hahahahaha, til now i still feel quite guilty, because i will throw temper at him whenever he is not playing to my expectations. so sorry and i have been trying to keep that attitude under control after sec 1. lastly jun huang, he is polite and easy going but i don't know why we drifted away, maybe it's because of us having different cca.
so came sec 2, kang soon moved house and changed sch and i was not in the same class as jun jie. so i had to get used to a new environment again. that year came many trustworthy brothers. rc, ky and dong kai. rc, he is damn nice lah. given my introvert attitude, i was sitting at the back of the class by myself but he called me over to join him. since then we got closer and became bros. yah i trust him alot and the time we had was fun. talking cock during lessons, making so much noise, going to toilet and chit chat. until we got caught by mr bernerd. so new activities, sing song during lessons. fun man. just too bad, sec 3 we were posted to different classes and we have different cca. so got drifted away abit. ky and dk. got to know them when through jun jie. and ended up it was the three of us who were always together. they both were fun seekers. we usually prank and suan the hell out of each other. they were super spastic and its very fun with them.
came sec 3, after a long holiday break. ky, dk and me were even closer because during the holidays. we were practically spending everyday together. got into same class as jun jie so we were close again. this year, many new brothers joined in. jun ming, liang hao, josh, elvis, zheng hong and some other more inactive ones. all of them were fellow ncc cadets but this year was different. we were no more followers, we were leaders now. yah, alot of things happened, many obstructions and problems arose and kept coming towards us like waves. it is through our sharing of each others woes that we got very close. jun ming and liang were borned slackers just like dk, ky and me. so we hit in off just nice. zheng hong on the other hand, was still naive i guess, always being bullied by us and was the butt of our jokes. elvis codename cyborg, fun guy, strong and childish still. hahahahahaha. but we all respected him. he kept us moving in the correct directions. josh! the blurrest among us, his kwoky hair style is one of a kind and his is damn crappy just like the rest of us.
last but not least, came sec 4. dk was kicked from our group. i seriously don't know why. maybe i started it. maybe i am the main culprit. but still. i don't know what went wrong. so at the start of the year. it's only ky and me. yah. it's always the two of us. spending the night outside, going tm and slack or burning time on weekends. wen jie and sam came along. wen jie being brought in by ky. sam by me. they two were fun bah. but sam was kicked. it's the group's decision. mainly because he always affect our mood with his emotional swings when we have outings. and slowly, jm and liang joined in ky and my wasting time activities and soon we got very close. i really like having the four of us together. having jun jie in will be even nicer but his mum is very strict. i really hoped that the 5 of us won't split.
and i am grateful to you. yah you mr rudy and mr imran. although you two suck to the core. you are the primary reason for the unity of our ncc cadets. it brought us together when we went through thick and thin together. irony ain't it? being grateful to the people who cause us so much troubles, worries, distress and hussles.
also, shamir. although the rest of us tried to give you the best. although we always gave you hope. we always ended up disappointing you. yah. losing the orienteering competition, poor results for spec course, turning ncc land from a silver unit back to a bronze unit and the cca orientation day. we failed you so many times but you nv reprimanded us. i always wonder why. yah, if we can go through the sec 3 and 4 life again. i am sure everyone would wanna give you our very best one more time. thanks for leading us all the way and showing us the way out always.
seriously lah, i hate being left on my own. my thoughts will run wild. yah yah yah. i know. relationship is all about trust and faith. but i don't know how to put it lah. my faith is filled with doubts now. not that i wanna feel this way. but seriously. i am always thinking if whether my faith for her will be betrayed again.
last year she promised me that after eoy exmainations, we will be very close and spend time with each other or roughly something like that. i trusted her totally always. but so what if there is faith? can faith save me back then? all along when things are going downhill, i always trusted her, have faith in her. but we ended that holiday. i don't know what i am saying here lah. i am just ranting again. i wanna have faith in her wholeheartedly now, i really do. but i am still being haunted by what happened then. damn it. i need someone to help me staighthen out my thoughts or at least stop me from thinking so much.
people always say that if you treat people nicely and show them kindness, it will be return in two folds. that's bullshit cause it never happened.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
yeah! the O levels is over! hahahahahaha. the prac only lah. but it do feels like the O levels is over.
the prac is ok. its quite easy but i screwed up my physics calculations part! omg lah, my maths seriously sucks. but nvm. what's done is done. so no point brooding over it.
after prac. went to eat at pastamania with jun ming, jun jie, ky and liang. hahahahahaha. everyone was high and started suaning each other. you know its kinda scary? its only a prac exam and everyone is so relaxed after it. what is gonna happen after the O's last paper i wonder.
so after eating, as usual. we just wanna hang around and don't go home. seriously lah, other than hanging around, what else can we do? we are just loners and slackers that need each other's company.
anyway, after eating. jun jie went home. the rest brainstormed on where to go. decided on two destinations - vivo city or sim lim square. we decided to flip a coin to decide where to go. hahahahahaha. three times it showed sim lim but we ended up in vivo city. lame right?
we took the train to harbour front and arrived at vivo city. first impression, its huge and classy. we went to look at computers stuffs in challengers. next, we walked around vivo city. there is a section on the 3rd floor that is totally outdoor and the best part, that is a very shallow pool there! so jun ming, ky and me pulled up our pants to have a nice scroll in the pool. fun man! and we pang seh liang hao. well actually, he chosed not to tag along. next, even more explorations, found another outdoor section on the 2nd floor that's facing sentosa. the scenery is nice and the haze makes it looks even nicer. seriously, i am starting to like the haze already. =x
we spent quite along time at the outdoor sections and talked abit. after that we went for a drink and it's home sweet home. nice day. really love my bros man.i sincerely hope and pray that we won't split up after O's
during our conversation, ky made this comment," the girl that should be here isn't here, but the want that should not tagged along always wants to".
yah, i agreed totally to it. i'm always wasting my time with brothers, never with her. it's really sad to say that she and me only went on 2 solo outings despite being together for one year. and everytime when i went to places that's fun, i will think about her, wishing that she is with me. but haix, the ones with me are always my brothers. not that i don't enjoy their presence, but it's always different with them and i do feel empty inside at times.
anyway, thought about gwee's question for me ytd night. yah i think i am happy with her when she is on bah cause i really enjoyed the times we had last year. but when she is off, it will be hell for me bah. so i guess it varies bah. there will be ups and downs in relationships at times.
but no matter what, i will still do what i must. mr lee wl told my dnt class that if you are in a relationship now, take good care of your partner. and i will do just that, to take good care of her and standby her.
it's just that sometimes i do wonder. if i am someone who she needs in her life or something that doesn't even affects her at all if i am gone.
enough of ranting, i am gonna slack and waste my time again. haix, still can't focus on studying and it's getting on my nerves.
the prac is ok. its quite easy but i screwed up my physics calculations part! omg lah, my maths seriously sucks. but nvm. what's done is done. so no point brooding over it.
after prac. went to eat at pastamania with jun ming, jun jie, ky and liang. hahahahahaha. everyone was high and started suaning each other. you know its kinda scary? its only a prac exam and everyone is so relaxed after it. what is gonna happen after the O's last paper i wonder.
so after eating, as usual. we just wanna hang around and don't go home. seriously lah, other than hanging around, what else can we do? we are just loners and slackers that need each other's company.
anyway, after eating. jun jie went home. the rest brainstormed on where to go. decided on two destinations - vivo city or sim lim square. we decided to flip a coin to decide where to go. hahahahahaha. three times it showed sim lim but we ended up in vivo city. lame right?
we took the train to harbour front and arrived at vivo city. first impression, its huge and classy. we went to look at computers stuffs in challengers. next, we walked around vivo city. there is a section on the 3rd floor that is totally outdoor and the best part, that is a very shallow pool there! so jun ming, ky and me pulled up our pants to have a nice scroll in the pool. fun man! and we pang seh liang hao. well actually, he chosed not to tag along. next, even more explorations, found another outdoor section on the 2nd floor that's facing sentosa. the scenery is nice and the haze makes it looks even nicer. seriously, i am starting to like the haze already. =x
we spent quite along time at the outdoor sections and talked abit. after that we went for a drink and it's home sweet home. nice day. really love my bros man.i sincerely hope and pray that we won't split up after O's
during our conversation, ky made this comment," the girl that should be here isn't here, but the want that should not tagged along always wants to".
yah, i agreed totally to it. i'm always wasting my time with brothers, never with her. it's really sad to say that she and me only went on 2 solo outings despite being together for one year. and everytime when i went to places that's fun, i will think about her, wishing that she is with me. but haix, the ones with me are always my brothers. not that i don't enjoy their presence, but it's always different with them and i do feel empty inside at times.
anyway, thought about gwee's question for me ytd night. yah i think i am happy with her when she is on bah cause i really enjoyed the times we had last year. but when she is off, it will be hell for me bah. so i guess it varies bah. there will be ups and downs in relationships at times.
but no matter what, i will still do what i must. mr lee wl told my dnt class that if you are in a relationship now, take good care of your partner. and i will do just that, to take good care of her and standby her.
it's just that sometimes i do wonder. if i am someone who she needs in her life or something that doesn't even affects her at all if i am gone.
enough of ranting, i am gonna slack and waste my time again. haix, still can't focus on studying and it's getting on my nerves.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
this is my first official blog post. =)
after much hesitation, i finally decided to start a blog. actually, i had already tried to start a blog at the start of the year, but due to some reasons. i decided to give up on it.
there are several reasons that inspired me to try and blog again.
1. several years down the road when i am old and gray. i can look at my blog to reminiscence about my past.
2. i can use this blog to rant on stuff that's bothering me.
3. this blog can be a very good medium for me to flame my bunch of prankster brothers. =)
4. maybe something bad will happen to me and i may have amnesia. so i can use this blog to help me regain some of my memories, at least.
5. khai yew is starting a blog too, so i start one to join in the fun. hahaha.
ok. so now let's get serious. woke up in the morning and jun ming called me. we decided to meet and burn our ample amount of time together with the other two slackers. ky and liang hao.
i was 30 minutes late and left liang hao waiting for us again. and something funny happened. my spastic usm decided the day before that he will not be needing his set of keys, so he decided to throw them into his letter box and ended up locking himself at home today. hahahahahahaha. fun ain't it? should try this if i have the chance too. so ky was left out in today's activities.
we went to jun ming house to slack. started playing x box first. well, ps is still better for me. hahahaha. then we started to create my blog. next, we played dota. omg lah, rusty rusty rusty. 2 months never play dota, my skills dropped drastically man. got pawned by insane ai! noob! haix, result of playing too much ps and talking too much online. hahahahaha.
ok that's all for the activities i did. now. gwee smsed me and said that she and jx are history lah. and she rant rant and rant. so i jus lac lac lac all the way. it's none of my business anyway. but she asked me one question that hit my deadlock. she asked me if i am happy with her. the her as in my special someone, not gwee. by right, the correct reply should be a yes without any hesitation, but my reply was i don't know.
seriously, that question made me thing alot. maybe i should think and reflect about it when i have nothing to do at home. tml is O levels prac and i am going to get some sleep if not tml i will be damn tired and blur. bye and goodluck my friends.
after much hesitation, i finally decided to start a blog. actually, i had already tried to start a blog at the start of the year, but due to some reasons. i decided to give up on it.
there are several reasons that inspired me to try and blog again.
1. several years down the road when i am old and gray. i can look at my blog to reminiscence about my past.
2. i can use this blog to rant on stuff that's bothering me.
3. this blog can be a very good medium for me to flame my bunch of prankster brothers. =)
4. maybe something bad will happen to me and i may have amnesia. so i can use this blog to help me regain some of my memories, at least.
5. khai yew is starting a blog too, so i start one to join in the fun. hahaha.
ok. so now let's get serious. woke up in the morning and jun ming called me. we decided to meet and burn our ample amount of time together with the other two slackers. ky and liang hao.
i was 30 minutes late and left liang hao waiting for us again. and something funny happened. my spastic usm decided the day before that he will not be needing his set of keys, so he decided to throw them into his letter box and ended up locking himself at home today. hahahahahahaha. fun ain't it? should try this if i have the chance too. so ky was left out in today's activities.
we went to jun ming house to slack. started playing x box first. well, ps is still better for me. hahahaha. then we started to create my blog. next, we played dota. omg lah, rusty rusty rusty. 2 months never play dota, my skills dropped drastically man. got pawned by insane ai! noob! haix, result of playing too much ps and talking too much online. hahahahaha.
ok that's all for the activities i did. now. gwee smsed me and said that she and jx are history lah. and she rant rant and rant. so i jus lac lac lac all the way. it's none of my business anyway. but she asked me one question that hit my deadlock. she asked me if i am happy with her. the her as in my special someone, not gwee. by right, the correct reply should be a yes without any hesitation, but my reply was i don't know.
seriously, that question made me thing alot. maybe i should think and reflect about it when i have nothing to do at home. tml is O levels prac and i am going to get some sleep if not tml i will be damn tired and blur. bye and goodluck my friends.
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