starting from today, there'll be lesser meetings with ky. time to get some serious work done on his side. as for me? work and major project. my own version of the "final charge".

met up with ky ytd. went to quite a few places for different purposes. holland v and then holland grove drive. nah beh. told ky holland v isn't holland grove, and he said its around there. yah right, around there. good thing we nv attempted to walk over.

after that, went to far east plaza to get myself another t-shirt. had dinner there before heading over to wisma. went to topman and then the nike flag ship store. wanted to buy the kobe t-shirt but decided not to. my mum will slaughter me. hahahahaha.

headed over to ion after that. not bad but too high class for us. next stop, orchard central. cool shit place. walked around there, took the external escalator to the 8th storey or so and ky had cold feet. hahahahaha. no wonder he wants to be diver instead of commando.

t1 and tampines mall after that before meeting jm for supper.

home sweet home after that. counting down to 4th december so that we can go back to our old ways. hang in there ppl, eyes on the prize. as for me? after one week of resting and refueling, time to do some serious kick ass training.

not starting today but tml. so thats it ppl. take care, have fun and god bless you all. lol!

rock on blink 182

22nd july. there was a total eclipse. an once in a life time event. however, it didn't make my day. what made my day was another once in a life time event. it was kobe's asia tour.

he came out for a short 45 minutes, did nth other than giving some pointers but it was inspiring. i always wanted to know how it will feel like to see your idol in real life. so this is how it felt. excited and nevous at the same time huh? well, although i only manage to see him from a great distance away. hahahahahaha

i think i'll faint if i was one of the lucky 8 youths who got through the trials for the kobe clinic. after the event, i was really motivated. kinda lost that motivation somewhere while doing my own training. guess seeing kobe from afar really helped.

how did i got the tickets? i went for the trials. it was really an eye opener and the whole process was funny as shit when i think back. the top players in singapore are really great. no doubt. it'll take a hell lot of work to even match up to them.

samuel accompanied me to the trials. once we were outside sba, we kinda got intimidated by the atmosphere there. the players there all belonged to some team and we 2 are some no name trying to mix in with them. took the registration form, sat down and spent all the time staring at the form thinking, "fuck, this is really fucked up. why am i here? they have teams, experience and the confidence. who am i to go against them?" the same shit was running in samuel's mind also.

told him that i need a breather and we went to the coffee shop around the area and shagged for close to an hour. "wah how? we go in like don't know our place arh? actually think we can fight with them? but if we go home now, ppl will say we hum, go liao don't dare go in." those were the thoughts in our head for the period of time. its a back and forth thing.

kinda felt that i had my back against the wall and broke that chain of thought.

"eh samuel. cannot be lah. i don't think we are that noob. its true that we don't belong to school team but think about it. we've played against chengyu before. lucky or skills, i don't know, but we've actually won against him. that proves something. i'm going in. i come here for a chance to be trained by kobe. good or not good enough. we'll know"

result? ain't good enough. if not, i'll be on newspaper as one of the 8 chosen youths. hahahahaha.

anyway, went to the event with samuel, nigel and anton. was initially planning to invite my brothers from team18 holdings but fuck, only had 1 ticket. can't possibly tear it up so that each of us can have "one". lol. and to avoid the situation of "inviting this one and the rest how?", i jit tao don't invite anyone of them and save myself from all the trouble. samuel already chose nigel so might as well complete the poly clique with anton.

enough crap. some photos.

kobe asia tour.

before kobe came out. tried to snap a photo of him from far but everything buang. hahahahaha.

4 of us. sry arh. abit bright. exposure +2. forgot adjust back. hahahahahaha!

the black mamba. the man i admire the most.

time to buck up. have some serious training to do. hope that the next time he's here, i'll be good enough to be trained by him.

well, i have my back against the wall now. kobe bryant's coming to singapore and i failed to get the tickets. thanks to me being at work and there's no one available to help and collect the tickets due to studies.

well actually, there was one. but hahahahaha, how the fuck would i know he has his mambo every wed?

so nvm, there's only one solution left. go for the trials and hope i get the once in a lifetime chance to be trained by kobe bryant. this truly is a dream come true. my admiration for this man is out of this world. to meet him and be trained by him has always been my goal ever since primary 4. this, is the only chance in my life that our paths will ever cross each other's. the only chance.

its truly something to go all out for. but here's the dilemma. i think this will be the time when my 100% don't actually matter. see, he's kobe bryant. there will be tonnes of ppl wishing to be trained by him. not only me.

and where do i stand amongst them? certainly not at the top. there will be national players and star players from every team there, waiting to be trained by him too. me? just a no name. see the gap? the chance of being selected is unsurprisingly close to zero.

i've spoken to my mother, she asked me to go and try it out so that i will nv have any regrets. true. the prob is, if i nv turn up, all i can say is i missed the event and yes, i'll live with regrets. but by not turning up for the event, there's not really much of a desire to get chosen u see.

but if i ever turn up for the trials. its a totally different thing. if i turn up, the only objective in my brain is to get selected. get what i mean? there's a desire. a fucking strong one.

truth is, i know i won't be picked. and if that really happens. it will be freaking demoralising. denied the chance to be trained by kobe bryant because i wasn't good enough. i think i will be destroyed and it'll take hell lot of time to recover from that fall.

its not that i can't take failures. i've been a failure my whole life. its just that i don't think i can take the "not good enough to be trained by kobe" label on top of me being a failure. get what i mean?

its a tough decision. training on wed by myself was messed up. the thought of making it to the event kept running through my mind and i can't focus. after knowing that the tickets were fully redeemed, my focus has been at its peak for 2 days straight, getting ready for the trials.

this is something i must fight for. actually, i'm used to fighting for almost everything i've achieved. they don't come easy for untalented ppl like me. i know that there will be no regrets if i turn up for the event but the chances of failing are close to absolute.

i don't know what to do, seriously. all i know is that i already swore in front of ky to cut off my fringe and have short hair if i ever get selected.

short hair, no fringe. i can live with that as long as i get be to be trained by kobe. i swear.

behold! the sexiest pair of shoes in the world!

adidas pilrahna 3...

...plus adidas gil zero low...

equals gilrahna! just came in today leh. wahahahahahahaha!

chio right? edited the photo abit on the hue and saturation.

shall further my mastery of the game with this pair of shoes. its not like i'm gonna throw away my old one. i'm planning to use them both.

top view.

cost a freaking $180. but its all worth it.

back view.

side view.

can't wait for saturday to try this pair out.

oh yeah. my adidas team signature creator lo. nice shoes. too bad i burnt out the soles already. thats y i need to get a new pair.

the past and the present.

sad to say, i like this pair more. not because its new, but its damn cool. has been looking for pilrahna 3 ever since chengyu introduced it to me.

gil zero 3 was a substitute for pilrahna 3. but when i decided to buy a pair of bball shoes, gil zero was out of stock in singapore also. so settled to the creator lo. and now, a fusion of pilrahna and gil zero. way fucking cool man!

but anyway, i've improved and matured alot with this pair. so yeah. i'll worship it i guess. hahahahaha.

creator lo for shootaround on wednesdays and gilrahna for serious trainings on weekends. zai!

hahahahaha. last photo. up front, the pair of shoes that i improved a hell lot in. right in the middle, the pair of shoes that's gonna carry me further on in my mastery of the game. and at the back, my mum. the person who had spent 19 long freaking years nurturing a punk ass like me. well, its has been a long and fuck-ed up 19 years for her trying to bring me up. guess its now my turn to return the favour.

thinking of turning in early today. ciao!

great day. great weather. bad start. great finish. great workout. great mood.

that roughly summed up my saturday. went to sch to do some bball training with samuel. well, i was late. hahahaha. my fault i guess. didn't set the alarm clock. thought that i won't slp until so late but hell, woke up at 1.20pm. was supposed to meet at 2.30 u see.

worse still, no lunch. so had to go over to mac to get my lunch, before rushing down to tp. slacked around the concourse level before heading down for bball. bball after lunch wasn't a great idea i should say. lol.

wasn't really in the mood for intensive training. can't really focus for the bulk of the day. don't know why and can't figure it out. its been a problem for me for a long long time.

asked samuel to pushed me by playing one on one. maybe i need my back against the wall before i will really perform. result? no good. can't focus still. result of one on one? samuel won 7-4. he's playing he's best whereas i'm just slacking throughout.

its not that i don't respect him. i respect him and i love playing against him. its always been this way. it just that there's a gap between us and i can't help but get complacent. i've told him this and he understood it. its like, why the hell would i need to go all out against him when 40% of my full strength is enough to beat him. well, its proven. 40% don't quite cut it.

like i've said in the previous post. i'll go all out against players i respect and samuel is one of them. prob is, its easier said than done. deep down inside, i wanted to go all out. he knows it, he can see it, i know it and i've been trying real hard. whatever the reason, i just can't.

5pm. some security shithead chased ppl playing around the sports complex out. "the sport complex close at 5. you go at 5." that's what the inflexible shithead said. well, u win.

went to the sheltered bball court outside tp. did some shootaround and then slacked. bo bian. there were ppl playing matches there. so finally, they stopped for awhile and i decided to go for one more try.

all out basketball. time was running out as it was getting dark. so one on one match. no holding back. result? i won 7-1. finally succeeded eh. think samuel was kinda shocked at first. he told me that i've improved as compared to the last time we went head to head against each other.

so after that, he regained he's composure and we play the best one on one against each other ever until this point. each brought out whatever energy and intensity we have left in us and never backed down from the challenge.

he led 3-1 initially. i chased it back to 4-4 before he took the lead at 6-5. he's final move was quite a mistake. did a step back jumper. he didn't really train on that whereas i did. i kinda knew the difficulty of step back jumper and already calculated the possibility of him missing.

told myself that it he ever missed his jumper, i'll use the opportunity to mount a comeback win. he missed and i made 2 straight lay ups to win the game at 7-6.

exciting game. tough win. and this is what i call respect. going at each other with everything we've got. both of us think that this kind of training will seriously benefit us in the long run. so how about bball every sat eh? lol.

anyway. went back to tp to bathe. dinner at subway before heading home. was really in a good mood after the 2 one of one matches. i'm not happy because i've won. i'm happy because i just went all out in a basketball match with a player i respect. its that respect factor that made it so valuable. well actually, winning those 2 matches did made me a little happier. hahahaha.

ok lah huh. shan't talk about bball any longer. gonna slp now. =)))

yo, guess what? i was gl-ed to the max by a fellow bballer at my estate. hahahaha. big ass pussy right? hahahaha.

right now. i'm feel that i'm at peace with myself. i actually withstood provocation and i think it takes alot of willpower and discipline. its not that i don't wanna fight back and school that guy. its just that i don't see the need to.

my purpose of going down today was to do some zero-in after monday's weight lifting. its a routine. weight lifting on monday, zero-in on wed and then serious training on sat or sun. wed is a must, if not, the weight lifting on monday will screw up my strength control.

wanted to do solo shoot around but an acquaintance asked me to play with them so joined in. resisted the temptation of driving the lane and kept on shooting. really need to zero-in. so missed tonnes of shots. expected. airballs somemore leh. hahahaha. noob.

so yah. got gl-ed. didn't fight back. here's my take on it. basketball to me, is all about respect. i'm not a kick ass player, but when i'm facing weaker players, i don't taunt them. respect, period.

so yeah. i'm not focused during that game. so what? i'm just there to zero-in on my shots for saturday's training with samuel. u wanna guai lan me? go ahead. have fun. i hope you enjoy it.

u see, i've put so much effort into my training and i don't wanna sully my dignity by going all out just to prove that i can win u. what's the point? childish act. "yeah! i schooled u, faggot!" u actually get a kick out of that?

me? i wanna play my very best when it actually mattered the most. to play with a player that i respect, to protect a friend's dignity and so on. now, these are the things to play for man!

lets take cheng yu for example. tp school team player. hell of a player but he's humble. he played he's best against me when i'm not even close to his standard and made me realised what i actually can do at my full potential. pushed me forward and taught me lots of stuff. great great respect towards him and look forward to playing with him again. samuel can tell it. when i shared the same court with cheng yu, i'm all about business.

to protect a friend's dignity? hahaha. hell yeah. i remember this one time at the sheltered court outside tp. i was there with justin and jm. we don't usually visit there. the rim there is shit difficult to score and it was evident. i didn't even scored a single shit during shootaround. enough evidence to show that i won't be a factor for the night if we got into some match.

some of the regulars there challenged us. good players i should say. its a 4 on 4 match. those players who were friends against us plus an uncle training there. their team? epic. a big size guy who's way bigger than our own center, justin. a guy who's leaping ability was off the hook. 2 guys who were somewhat skilled players. i will say, those 2 guys are better than me.

but one of them made a big mistake. before the game actually started, the guy marking jm happened to said, "i'll mark the moh peng." thats it, game over.

i'm not sure if anyone other than me heard it, but at that time, its full throttle. led the game 10-8 before justin got the god damn leg cramps. in the end. lost 10-11 cause we were outnumbered. if i'm not wrong, out of the 10 points, i had 8 to 9, all by shooting when i can't even sink one during shootaround.

so yeah. bottomline? i go all out when i think its really worth it. so if i'm holding back? sorry, it just prove that you are not worth my 100%.

anyway, xiao liao. standard chartered sent me a card. "come run with us again!" hahahahahaha. jia lat. then ky's forming 2009's version of team18s. holy shit. have until 16 july to consider. so slowly lah huh. joined last year for the experience. if i join this year, i need something to run for. lol. i'm not a passionate runner arh. its not like basketball where u give me a call and say ,"eh, jem, damn sian, play bball leh." and i'll immediately agree. different case!

wah. jit bai see xiao liao.

we need guidance, we've been misled,
young and hostile, but not stupid.

one week older. hahahahaha. seriously. time really pass quite quickly nowadays. u wake up, u go work, before u know it, its lunch time. go for lunch, come back, relax awhile and do work, before you know it, time to knock off. go home, have dinner, before u know it, time to slp. and the cycle repeats for 4 more days before there's some slight chances to your life.

anyway, met up with ky and jm for dinner at nydc on friday. jm's treat! lol. he's doing project for nydc so has vouchers lor. $3 for a nice dinner. power lah. dinner with them was great. nice food, nice time talking about anything and then walked around for awhile before heading home.

went down to tp to train on bball all by myself. lol. tp's a better place for training. its really empty there. at my estate, those kids were running around, quite hard to do serious training.

today? went to sch again to do projects. hahahahaha. no life ass hole. work and projects. bo bian! final year liao. more chiong than usual. but i'm kinda more motivated now after starting sip. good good. really need this change. if not i'm a slacking piece of shit man. hahahahahaha.

anyway, introducing my dream car. nissan s15. hot right? singapore 2nd hand with coe cheapest also around $80 plus k. hahahahaha. peng. but so hot! feeling a bit desperate now. hahahahaha.

was surfing the net about this and saw that there's rumors about s16? lol. shall wait and see lah huh. cannot afford s15 liao wanna chiong s16? lol. go rob bank? masterplan!

swee right? there's one around tampines stadium sia. red in colour. hahahahaha. reason to walk home everyday.

ok lah. think i'm gonna try and find something to do.

was blog hopping and came across this. my result?

your type is INTJ

strength of the preferences %
introverted - 67%
intuitive - 12%
thinking - 12%
judging - 1%

qualitative analysis of your type formula

you are:
- distinctively expressed introvert
- slightly expressed intuitive personality
- slightly expressed thinking personality
- slightly expressed judging personality

introverted gay fag? not quite. here's what the professionals say.

Rational Portrait of the Mastermind (INTJ)
by D.Keirsey

All Rationals are good at planning operations, but Masterminds are head and shoulders above all the rest in contingency planning. Complex operations involve many steps or stages, one following another in a necessary progression, and Masterminds are naturally able to grasp how each one leads to the next, and to prepare alternatives for difficulties that are likely to arise any step of the way. Trying to anticipate every contingency, Masterminds never set off on their current project without a Plan A firmly in mind, but they are always prepared to switch to Plan B or C or D if need be.

Masterminds are rare, comprising no more than, say, one percent of the population, and they are rarely encountered outside their office, factory, school, or laboratory. Although they are highly capable leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once they take charge, however, they are thoroughgoing pragmatists. Masterminds are certain that efficiency is indispensable in a well-run organization, and if they encounter inefficiency-any waste of human and material resources-they are quick to realign operations and reassign personnel. Masterminds do not feel bound by established rules and procedures, and traditional authority does not impress them, nor do slogans or catchwords. Only ideas that make sense to them are adopted; those that don't, aren't, no matter who thought of them. Remember, their aim is always maximum efficiency.

In their careers, Masterminds usually rise to positions of responsibility, for they work long and hard and are dedicated in their pursuit of goals, sparing neither their own time and effort nor that of their colleagues and employees. Problem-solving is highly stimulating to Masterminds, who love responding to tangled systems that require careful sorting out. Ordinarily, they verbalize the positive and avoid comments of a negative nature; they are more interested in moving an organization forward than dwelling on mistakes of the past.

Masterminds tend to be much more definite and self-confident than other Rationals, having usually developed a very strong will. Decisions come easily to them; in fact, they can hardly rest until they have things settled and decided. But before they decide anything, they must do the research. Masterminds are highly theoretical, but they insist on looking at all available data before they embrace an idea, and they are suspicious of any statement that is based on shoddy research, or that is not checked against reality.

Alan Greenspan, Ben Bernanke, Dwight D. Eisenhower, General Ulysses S. Grant, Frideriche Nietsche, Niels Bohr, Peter the Great, Stephen Hawking, John Maynard Keynes, Lise Meitner, Ayn Rand and Sir Isaac Newton are examples of Rational Masterminds.
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Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
by Marina Margaret Heiss
Profile: INTJ
Revision: 3.0
Date of Revision: 27 Feb 2005

To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know.

INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.

INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others on the project. Anyone considered to be "slacking," including superiors, will lose their respect -- and will generally be made aware of this; INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.

In the broadest terms, what INTJs "do" tends to be what they "know". Typical INTJ career choices are in the sciences and engineering, but they can be found wherever a combination of intellect and incisiveness are required (e.g., law, some areas of academia). INTJs can rise to management positions when they are willing to invest time in marketing their abilities as well as enhancing them, and (whether for the sake of ambition or the desire for privacy) many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality.

Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.

This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.

Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to "work at" a relationship. Although as Ts they do not always have the kind of natural empathy that many Fs do, the Intuitive function can often act as a good substitute by synthesizing the probable meanings behind such things as tone of voice, turn of phrase, and facial expression. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications.
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Functional Analysis
by Joe Butt

Introverted iNtuition
INTJs are idea people. Anything is possible; everything is negotiable. Whatever the outer circumstances, INTJs are ever perceiving inner pattern-forms and using real-world materials to operationalize them. Others may see what is and wonder why; INTJs see what might be and say "Why not?!" Paradoxes, antinomies, and other contradictory phenomena aptly express these intuitors' amusement at those whom they feel may be taking a particular view of reality too seriously. INTJs enjoy developing unique solutions to complex problems.

Extraverted Thinking
Thinking in this auxiliary role is a workhorse. Closure is the payoff for efforts expended. Evaluation begs diagnosis; product drives process. As they come to light, Thinking tends, protects, affirms and directs iNtuition's offspring, fully equipping them for fulfilling and useful lives. A faithful pedagogue, Thinking argues not so much on its own behalf, but in defense of its charges. And through this process these impressionable ideas take on the likeness of their master.

Introverted Feeling
Feeling has a modest inner room, two doors down from the Most Imminent iNtuition. It doesn't get out much, but lends its influence on behalf of causes which are Good and Worthy and Humane. We may catch a glimpse of it in the unspoken attitude of good will, or the gracious smile or nod. Some question the existence of Feeling in this type, yet its unseen balance to Thinking is a cardinal dimension in the full measure of the INTJ's soul.

Extraverted Sensing
Sensing serves with a good will, or not at all. As other inferior functions, it has only a rudimentary awareness of context, amount or degree. Thus INTJs sweat the details or, at times, omit them. "I've made up my mind, don't confuse me with the facts" could well have been said by an INTJ on a mission. Sensing's extraverted attitude is evident in this type's bent to savor sensations rather than to merely categorize them. Indiscretions of indulgence are likely an expression of the unconscious vengeance of the inferior.

Famous INTJs:
Susan B. Anthony
Lance Armstrong
Arthur Ashe, tennis champion
Augustus Caesar (Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus)
Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)
Dan Aykroyd (The Blues Brothers)
William J. Bennett, "drug czar"
William F. Buckley, Jr.
Raymond Burr (Perry Mason, Ironsides)
Chevy Chase (Cornelius Crane) (Fletch)
Katie Couric
Phil Donahue
Michael Dukakis, governor of Mass., 1988 U.S. Dem. pres. candidate
Richard Gere (Pretty Woman)
Rudy Giuliani, former New York City mayor
Greg Gumbel, television sportscaster
Hannibal, Carthaginian military leader
Veronica Hamel (Hill Street Blues)
Angela Lansbury (Murder, She Wrote)
Orel Leonard Hershiser, IV
Peter Jennings
Charles Everett Koop
Ivan Lendl
C. S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia)
Joan Lunden
Edwin Moses, U.S. olympian (hurdles)
Martina Navratilova
Michelle Obama
General Colin Powell, US Secretary of State
Charles Rangel, U. S. Representative, D-N.Y.
Pernell Roberts (Bonanza)
Donald Rumsfeld, US Secretary of Defense
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Governor of California
Josephine Tey (Elizabeth Mackintosh), mystery writer (Brat Farrar)


U.S. Presidents:
Chester A. Arthur
Calvin Coolidge
Thomas Jefferson
John F. Kennedy
James K. Polk
Woodrow Wilson

wahahahahahaha. like i've said all the time. i'm a tensai!