since i have nth to do at home, i am going to write a very long post. a post about my bros and some other stuff.

hmmm, 4 years in dunman had passed so quickly and during this phase of my life, many brothers walked into my life. shall start with sec one.

yah, new to the sch. a new life, a new routine, new friends, new environment etc. sec one and everyboy should be quite childish and playful then. got to be brothers with jun jie, kang soon and maybe jun huang. yah jun jie huh? til now it's 4 years of hardcore brotherhood. it's fun with him. never had we ran out of topics to crap about and best of all, we haven't get into a dispute yet. next kang soon, my basketball pal. yeah have good chemistry between the two of us and we seldom lose matches. maybe ppl give in to us because we're sec 1 boys but nvm, the time spent with him is fun. hahahahaha, til now i still feel quite guilty, because i will throw temper at him whenever he is not playing to my expectations. so sorry and i have been trying to keep that attitude under control after sec 1. lastly jun huang, he is polite and easy going but i don't know why we drifted away, maybe it's because of us having different cca.

so came sec 2, kang soon moved house and changed sch and i was not in the same class as jun jie. so i had to get used to a new environment again. that year came many trustworthy brothers. rc, ky and dong kai. rc, he is damn nice lah. given my introvert attitude, i was sitting at the back of the class by myself but he called me over to join him. since then we got closer and became bros. yah i trust him alot and the time we had was fun. talking cock during lessons, making so much noise, going to toilet and chit chat. until we got caught by mr bernerd. so new activities, sing song during lessons. fun man. just too bad, sec 3 we were posted to different classes and we have different cca. so got drifted away abit. ky and dk. got to know them when through jun jie. and ended up it was the three of us who were always together. they both were fun seekers. we usually prank and suan the hell out of each other. they were super spastic and its very fun with them.

came sec 3, after a long holiday break. ky, dk and me were even closer because during the holidays. we were practically spending everyday together. got into same class as jun jie so we were close again. this year, many new brothers joined in. jun ming, liang hao, josh, elvis, zheng hong and some other more inactive ones. all of them were fellow ncc cadets but this year was different. we were no more followers, we were leaders now. yah, alot of things happened, many obstructions and problems arose and kept coming towards us like waves. it is through our sharing of each others woes that we got very close. jun ming and liang were borned slackers just like dk, ky and me. so we hit in off just nice. zheng hong on the other hand, was still naive i guess, always being bullied by us and was the butt of our jokes. elvis codename cyborg, fun guy, strong and childish still. hahahahahaha. but we all respected him. he kept us moving in the correct directions. josh! the blurrest among us, his kwoky hair style is one of a kind and his is damn crappy just like the rest of us.

last but not least, came sec 4. dk was kicked from our group. i seriously don't know why. maybe i started it. maybe i am the main culprit. but still. i don't know what went wrong. so at the start of the year. it's only ky and me. yah. it's always the two of us. spending the night outside, going tm and slack or burning time on weekends. wen jie and sam came along. wen jie being brought in by ky. sam by me. they two were fun bah. but sam was kicked. it's the group's decision. mainly because he always affect our mood with his emotional swings when we have outings. and slowly, jm and liang joined in ky and my wasting time activities and soon we got very close. i really like having the four of us together. having jun jie in will be even nicer but his mum is very strict. i really hoped that the 5 of us won't split.

and i am grateful to you. yah you mr rudy and mr imran. although you two suck to the core. you are the primary reason for the unity of our ncc cadets. it brought us together when we went through thick and thin together. irony ain't it? being grateful to the people who cause us so much troubles, worries, distress and hussles.

also, shamir. although the rest of us tried to give you the best. although we always gave you hope. we always ended up disappointing you. yah. losing the orienteering competition, poor results for spec course, turning ncc land from a silver unit back to a bronze unit and the cca orientation day. we failed you so many times but you nv reprimanded us. i always wonder why. yah, if we can go through the sec 3 and 4 life again. i am sure everyone would wanna give you our very best one more time. thanks for leading us all the way and showing us the way out always.

seriously lah, i hate being left on my own. my thoughts will run wild. yah yah yah. i know. relationship is all about trust and faith. but i don't know how to put it lah. my faith is filled with doubts now. not that i wanna feel this way. but seriously. i am always thinking if whether my faith for her will be betrayed again.

last year she promised me that after eoy exmainations, we will be very close and spend time with each other or roughly something like that. i trusted her totally always. but so what if there is faith? can faith save me back then? all along when things are going downhill, i always trusted her, have faith in her. but we ended that holiday. i don't know what i am saying here lah. i am just ranting again. i wanna have faith in her wholeheartedly now, i really do. but i am still being haunted by what happened then. damn it. i need someone to help me staighthen out my thoughts or at least stop me from thinking so much.

people always say that if you treat people nicely and show them kindness, it will be return in two folds. that's bullshit cause it never happened.