this game of fishing for answers sucks. it has to stop. wanna know why? because one day, i'll stop trying to fish for answers and you'll come crying with tears in your eyes asking me, "why?".

just like my answer to my mum, i'll say, "no particular reason".

that answer ain't a lie. the truth is, when it gets to that stage, i simply can't be bothered anymore.

and oh, while saying that, i'll probably be filled with a warped sense of satisfaction and joy because now, the tables are turned and you are the one fishing for something.

imagine the confused look on ur face.

imagine the unsettling tone in your voice.

imagine the feeling when u want to make something right and the person simply doesn't want to give u a chance to or a direction on how to go about doing it.

imagine the helplessness when u simply do not know what went wrong.

imagine ur brain running at full speed trying to filter and analyse every single detail from god knows when in hope of finding the slightest clue to solving the mystery and coming up with a good reply or answer, or so u thought, only to hit the wall again and having to start all over again, only to hit the wall again and having to start all over again, only to hit the wall again.........

see. when i cared and u told me i don't have to. its like applying brakes on a very fast moving train. the heart slows down everytime u tell me that. like the inertia the train has, i'll still ask until it comes to a complete stop.

and guess what, once it comes to a full stop, thats when i'll simply don't give a fuck. it makes my life and job easier to be frank.

if u want it to start again, its gonna take alot of effort to overcome the inertia and seriously, from the bottom of my heart, have fun doing that because its not gonna be easy.

do u get it? i bet u don't. oh well. its not like people care anyway, at least not until its too late.

what is this?

i am feeling uber shock at my sudden mortality. this is shit.

its funny and frightening at the same time. and the things i did? epic.

well, at least that after so long, i know i am still human, vulnerable and can still bleed.

peace out.

time check: 2235
condition: down with flu

ok. was supposed to be playing dota now. supposed. however, jj couldn't make it. so its left with pei and me. so decided to play ourselves. but of all time, garena needs to run client version check. on top of that. it doesn't seems to be running at all. one word. fuck!

a little jumpy here. down with flu u see. work has been real good. more accustomed to the work flow now and can handle all the admin work all by myself already. all by myself! wahahahaha. what to do? i'm a genius. lol.

anyway. lebron won this year mvp award. what can i say? although i'm a lebron hater, i think he deserves the award. ok. lets get this straight, i hate him because of the hype surrounding him and he's imba playing style. thats all. above all else, i respect him for his leadership and work ethic.

kobe and the lakers on the other hand, got through the first round of playoffs but crashed and burned against houston at home court ytd. nice one liao lor. lost the game and home court advantage. so what if lakers sweep the houston 4-0 in their season series? achievements during the regular season means nothing in the playoffs. if kobe and lebron ever meet in the nba finals, i won't be surprised if the cavaliers win eventhough kobe's lakers swept the cavs during the regular season. they lakers are just not playing at a contender's level right now. blew 3 20 points lead against utah and barely managed to survive. how's that for a top seed in the western conference? disappointing.

anyway, gotta dota now. finally can get in. read up on the problem on the internet. nahbeh. change server nia! think they updating server or something.

was talking to jj and jm online. were discussing some stuff.

Ī Junjie Ī says:
we 7~9 can liao
junming says:
now only 6
Ī Junjie Ī says:
7
Ī Junjie Ī says:
wan bet?
junming says:
i think sure have pei ren
junming says:
so 7
junming says:
bet your poon la
Ī Junjie Ī says:
woah relax
Ī Junjie Ī says:
thats lv 25 vulgar

junming says:
im off
Ī Junjie Ī says:
but tmr
junming says:
GOOD BYE
Ī Junjie Ī says:
must rmb
Ī Junjie Ī says:
remind
Ī Junjie Ī says:
me
junming says:
OKAY NO PROBLEM
Ī Junjie Ī says:
in case shit happens
Ī Junjie Ī says:
ok
Ī Junjie Ī says:
dun caps, sounds dulan to me
Ī Junjie Ī says:
hahaha
Ī Junjie Ī says:
ok BYE!

hahahahaha. that guy nv change.

anyway, went to train on bball with chen wee ytd in tp. nice trip i should say. my shooting really improved. shocked chen wee also. had a shooting competition. each one of us will shoot at one side of the court, first to reach 30 wins.

i started off fast leading 15 to 9 i think. then i got tired and slacked for awhile until chen wee caught up at 20 to 21 before closing it at 30 to 23. nice way to train.

then played random one on one and shoot the lights out. i'm in lock on mode now. it feels like i can do anything on the court. had 3 one on one matches for finale. chen wee won the first one 5-7. caught me by surprise and i decided to focus and play. won the second and third set 7-4 and 5-2 if i'm not wrong.

ok. thats one thing thats bothering me now. it kinda makes me feel both helpless and useless. ok. first up, my mum was abandoned by her blood parents. she went back home once but it wasn't a nice trip. she had her house number but she nv called at all. there's alot of backstory to it which i will not elaborate. but all i can say is, its not a good experience for her and if i'm in her situation, i'll nv call back home again too.

but today, my mum showed me this note. she had problem saying it out. the note shows.

i called home to look for my mum when you weren't at home. she picked up the phone and said "hello?" and i hang up straight after. she's not died and doing fine.

and when i saw my mum's face. that sad look. i felt kinda lost. i don't really know what to do. i know that i can't fill that void and all i can do was to tell her to stop crying and cheer up.

seriously. i fucking hate my own blood grandparents. if i ever see them. t(-.-t) is what they'll get from me. so new resolution for me, be a better son.

conversion complete. from driver to scorer. =)

alright. gonna slp now.

haix. there goes my bus shield. 1 hour before the captain ball tournaments, i sprained my ankle. so i'm limping now. fuck. i won't be playing in tml's bball match.

my team got second for captain ball and i got the trophy as well when i did nth other than cheering. it kinda sucks to see ur team losing and u can't do anything to help when u obviously know that u might be the missing piece in helping them win.

for 2 years straight, i've missed bus shield. first year, no one to form team with. second year, finally formed a team with great players who i think i will have fun with, i sprained my ankle. to make things even worse, i was so excited about bus shield because ruicheng's playing also. get a chance to face off against him in like 2 years.

so my last chance lies in year 3. i swear i'm gonna fucking train hard so that when year 3 comes, i'm gonna play like there's no tml. 3 years of thirst channelled into 1 last try. pls don't let anything happen to me man.

what worries me most now is that i'm afraid that i won't be as fast and can't jump as high as i used to after i've recovered. this was what happened to me after my toe injury. i had to train hard to get my jumping ability back.

here's an irony. on tuesday, i accompany my mum to a temple in simpang bedok. afterall i'm there, might as well pray also.

i prayed for alot of stuff and alot of ppl. for family, for brothers, for close friends and myself. what i wanted was for my bball team to get 1st for bus shield. lol. now i'm in this condition, maybe buddha's telling me that if i'm out of action, the team will really get first.

wah fuck man. totally can't accept what happened. am still in accepting phase. fuck. think thats all lah. no intensive bball until i've completely healed.

oh yah. thanks to my mum for accompanying me to the doc and sitting outside the clinic for an hour with me. =)

back to blog. potential long post. well, i think i chiong-ed too much during this holidays and i fell ill. sore throat, slight fever, headache, cough, flu, feeling tired and weak and having an ulcer all at one go. will get to that later.

updates now. met up with jj, waikit, jun liang and ky on friday to get some small presents for kelly, winnie, vanda, jw, tsuisan and kelly's junior.

planned to meet at 5 and only ky and i were on time. the other 3 buggers were at jun liang's place at 5 pm. nice one lah.

dinner with them and then gwee came to find us. went to watch yes man with jun liang, jj and waikit. ky and gwee went shopping on their own. yes man is a lame ass comedy man. overall not bad. as expected from jim carrey.

movie poster.

saturday. woke up feeling super ill but whatever. met up with jj, jun liang, wai kit, ky and boss at around 12 to go play lan before meeting the girls to go for winnie's concert. the new rule worked out pretty well. 1 hour free lan for the person whose not at the meeting point at the stipulated time. amazingly, everyone was on time after don't know how many @#!@$$@#!% years.

played left4dead. quite nice lah. but i think long time nv play first person shooter liao. play 2 hours and felt uber giddy.

dinner at ps and then went to meet up with the girls at bugis. spent close to 1 hour hunting for the concert hall. saw a bunch of nicely dress girls and jj and i started crapping.

me: tell u arh. those ppl confirm going the same concert as us.
jj: zhun boh.
me: guarantee plus tok.
jj: then how we know?
me: shout dunman.
jj: eh, mai xiao.
me: dunman!!!
jj: sia lah. they respond. dunman!!!
me: dunman!!!
*ky walked up to them*
ky: excuse me. are u all going for the dunman choir concert.
them: no.
ky: ok thanks.
me: sian. sah lah.

when we found the place. guess what we saw? those girls were attending the same concert as us. suckers sia. those buggers aside, the concert was pretty nice. winnie had some sort of a scene that she needs to be quite gentle i guess. not used to it. laughed quite alot. maybe due to us getting whacked by her all the time. lol. but anyway, nice performance by winnie.

supper at tampines burnt mac like finally and then home sweet home.

sunday was spent at home. not a very good day. ill like one dog and then quarelled with my mum. actually shouted at her like after don't know how many @#!@$$@#!% years. can't blame me. she pissed me off.

my mum was asking me to help her clear the study table. i told her i'll do it but she'll have to wait. i'm watching a movie on my com. so let me finish it up and i'll do anything as instructed. i'll even lick the toilet floor if she wants.

she die die can't wait and took a plastic bag and threw all my stuff inside. want to throw them away sia. of course i'm pissed. i'm in the middle of a movie and its nearing the end. u know the climax? so just let me finish it in peace lah. i mean come on, its not like i was super gl or what. i already told her i'll do it. think about it. i nv once said no to my mum if what she asked of me is within my capabilities. so relax lah. so gan chiong for what.

next thing is, my mum always ask for opinions in doing stuff. thats good. but she's giving me a feeling that she's asking for the sake of asking. cause whatever opinions i told her, none was accepted. ok, maybe she'll accept it for awhile and change everything back to normal without even informing u. lets take a very common situation for example.

*house phone rings*
*pick up the phone*
mum: what u want for dinner?
me: fried hokkien mee.
mum: don't want. very fast hungry. chicken rice.
me: then call and ask for what? ask song arh.

get what i mean?

monday. rot at home and trained up on my ra3 skills. finally can 1 vs 4 easy ai. great improvement hor.

then ytd. bball practice with teck wee, chen wee and samuel. was supposed to meet up with raymond, richard and cher haur also. but raymond and richard need to go off early and cher haur can't make it.

but according to chen wee. both raymond and richard are very pro. raymond's good on defense and richard's a super sharp shooter. so yeah, quite excited to play with them.

was kinda relunctant to go down for practice cause i was sick. but since i promised them so go down lor. at most faint nia. thats what i thought lah.

played 6 teams matches against some guys and won 5. not bad sia. chen wee, teck wee and samuel all performed well ytd except for me. its not because of my illness, i guess i got a little bit too slack. i mean playing bball with teck wee around really is a great thing. no need to shoulder scoring load and so on and so i kinda enjoyed the slacking moments. slacked until the point that i can't even help out on offense at all when the team is in trouble. lol. i think i got to change my mindset real soon and give it all during all the matches. they are gonna be very competitive. must provide as much help as i can to the team.

anyway. chen wee and i got pretty high doing stupid stuff while training.

chen wee: let me show u my new move.
me: oh really? let me show u one of my trademark defensive move. its off the hook and its stunning.
chen wee: oh.
*chen wee drived in and attempted a shot*
*i pulled up my jersey and flashed him my upper body*
*chen wee peng-ed*

oh yah. got kicked out of the court that we were using by cheerleaders. they were having their bonding session or camp or something. damn.

weird enough. was so sick to barely run before bball but i'm all recovered after practice except for the cough. maybe all i needed during the holidays was a little dose of bball.

wasn't really comfortable with teck wee's playing style yet and thus wasn't really effective. thought over it and thought that i need to improve on my shooting to provide more help. so stayed back after practice with samuel and asked him to help me train. 30 shots from mid range. 30-78. 38.46% not very good arh. but nvm. will keep on practising after xmas. =)

as for today. went for ftt earlier on and passed. like hell yeah. cousin's wedding dinner later on. so yeah. gotta prepare now.

anyway. one of the brothers made the biggest discover ever since some dick discovered dinosaur bones. that bugger actually found chee peiyun's blog. quite interesting to read for a good laugh. lol!

lastly, vanda pls send me the photos that were taken during the concert. thanks alot.

---all hail the mother of all bombs---
---all hail cpy-

i'm fucking pissed right now. i spent like 15 minutes typing out my not less than 100 words otbs self reflection and u know what? unidentified fields of parameter or something like that and poof! there goes my not less than 100 words of self reflection. poof! gone just like that. poof! my 15 minutes of effort. poof! not less than 100 words. poof! fuuccckkkk!

alright, whats happen has already happened. lets just spend another 15 minutes after this lor.

anyway, ytd marked the end for all projects. jap role play was funny throughout. all the groups were pretty good. and now, 1 whole week of slacking before exams and then, end of 2.1. fast huh?

i passed my btt. not bad. pretty easy. finished it in like 10 to 15 minutes and was the first to leave the room. shiok eh.

went to tampines to meet up with ky. had dinner, walked around tm, freeloaded at times, planned for the gathering later on, spoke to kelly, planned on a trip to vivo and home sweet home.

thats all for now. gonna spend another 15 minutes on the reflection again. lesson learnt, better copy the whole chunk of reflections before i submit.

today's lecture can be said to be the best thus far.

a dare by anton brought the lecture hall to life and saved us from the hell boring lecture. hell yeah. nigel's the man. everything goes like this. anton, nigel, samuel and i were planning to watch the dark knight tml after sch. i don't know how it happened but one of us brought up the idea of jio-ing some girls to go.

so anton placed a $50 dare to dare us to ask a girl of our choice down. we chose han lin. lol. initially, i was the one taking the dare, but i back out due to some considerations. then nigel accept the dare. steady man. during bus stats break, he really go take the mic from the lecturer and asked han lin out.

debbie sis has the video of it. will post it here when i get the url from her.

steady man. he's the man. he has balls. lets not care what stuff did i huan loh. i just didn't took up the dare. lol.

$50 leh! i'm short of money for this fucking week. i don't care, whoever dare me with money next time, i'll chiong.

anyway, this is the kind of steadiness i've been talking about in one of my previous post. i guess ky, me and gang are getting more matured to do this kind of shit already eh. until now, we are always trying to act our age and lose the passion to create havoc like the old times. doing it on certain occasions really rocks arh?

anyway, plans for this week.

movie with sch clique tml. vivo on friday with ky. grandma house on sat. study bus stats on sunday. doubt i will accomplish much on sunday. lol.

looking at the plan, i think i'm in quite a deep shit. expenses will be sky high and i've already overspent for this week. aiyah. fuck it lah. go out enjoy, don't huan loh money. huan loh after enjoying lah. lol.

went to play bball just now. haix. i think my low self esteem is still getting the best of me.

was playing team match with some members of starlight grc bball team. i actually didn't drive in when i saw the opportunity to and instead passed the ball to a teammate. if i drive in, i know i can score. well, seriously don't know what i'm doing.

things got worse from there. i missed alot of shots and even missed wide open lay ups that i normally sink. what the fuck is this? this is a very difficult obstacle to get by. i've talked to justin to get some advice but ultimately, everything lies on me.

all i could think of when i was trying to bring out some confidence is that i stopped bball for quite a long time. i bowed down to injuries back then and didn't even put on a fight. i'm playing with ppl who belongs to a bball team while i'm nth. thats all i know. these are the thoughts that run through my mind all the time. wah, seriously fuck man. how am i gonna get pass this obstacle?

argh. gonna talk to justin online now. bye.

sometimes if i shout,
it's not what's intended.
these words just come out,
with no gripe to bear.

fuck. i just finished my apel 2 service reflection. seriously, i think its a complete waste of time. well, even if i'm so free, i still think doing the service reflection is pretty dumb, i may have other better stuff to do man. ok, lets take a look at the questions first.

1. identify a disadvantaged group, and briefly describe the current situation or share why this group is significant to you.
2. what problems do they face, and what do you think they really need? give example(s).
3. what are your goals/objectives, and in what ways can you volunteer your service to help this group?
4. think of a tentative strategy and if applicable, state the (i) pros and cons, (ii) costs.(costs may include supplies, materials, transport, rental, utilities, manpower, etc.)
5. based on your recommendation in (4), draw up a tentative action plan.
6. how is volunteering related to your life mission statement?
7. how does volunteering effectively reinforce at least one of the apel key principles or values? apel values include respect, integrity, compassion, cooperation, perseverance, loyalty, and initiative.

ok, i don't mind doing question 1, its still ok. but from there onwards, i'm like come on, if i really wanted to do voluntary work and help a disadvantaged group, will i still do that shit? answer. hell no!

i mean come on, what's the point of coming up with a dumb fuck strategy and action plan when actions speak louder than words? if u really wanna help the disadvantaged, just join any voluntary group and follow them around.

and lets be frank. u think someone like me can be bothered to do voluntary work? i don't think so. i had 2 weeks of holidays and see what i did so far. slacked and worked. true that i have alot of free time, but i don't think i'll ever to be that great a person to do voluntary work. that's y i respect those volunteers who's willing to help others for free and not for stuff like money and maybe cip hours. please, doing voluntary work in exhange for cip hours is considered a transaction by me, pure helping and voluntary work doesn't need anything in return.

and well, i finished that service reflection and felt dumb after completing it. cause i think it was crap. typing out something that i may nv do in my lifetime and answering some questions that i seriously nv thought of. all for the sake of passing apel 2 and not repeating it in 3.1 or maybe even 4.1. see! transaction taking place.

talking about wasting time. i still remembered my past experience of telling one of my teachers that his lessons was a waste of time. well, nth much. i was banned from his lessons like for 3 whole weeks? lol. wanna know who he is? mr zulfiki, that damn art teacher with a mole somewhere on his face. the week before, he had already asked us to draw some stuff and shade it. well, i shaded half of it black and he still said its not good enough. so i had a record of getting sent out of class 5 minutes into the lesson. mofo.

enough of my ranting, lakers is still in the series but are still trailing 2-3. so good luck bah. no team had ever came back from a 3-1 deficit in the nba finals. could the lakers this time be the 29th team to try it and the 1st team to accomplish it? well, we'll just have to stay tuned.

went bballing ytd. wasn't that fruitful. was quite off arh. maybe the 4 days of work tired my arms out. but again, that's an excuse. i just didn't play well, thats all.

so shall stop here.

holy mother fuck crap. i think i lost my nike finger sleeve, again! i can't find it in my bag. its usually there as i bring it everywhere i go. wah big fuck!

met up with elvis and jm for bball today after sch. well, didn't play any matches, just normal shooting and fooling around cause it was drizzling. challenged elvis to 3 point showdown. 1st round, both of us was 3 for 10 from downtown and then its the tie breaker round. i was 1 for 5 and elvis hit 3 out of 5. so he won. hahahahahaha. not bad arh. i should seriously buck up on my shooting if i wanna be a good shooting guard.

while waiting for jm to arrived, elvis and i were exchanging tips on various moves and then we were "chased" out of the court because some kindergarden teachers want to hold a rehearsal for their kindergarden's sports day there. they were like asking if we mind clearing the court for them or not and before we could reply, they already said "thanks alot", so what's the point of asking man?

after jm arrived, it started to drizzle, so the teachers and those small kids cleared the court. so its our turn to play again. lol. thats when the 3 point shootout occured. dinner with jm at subway after that.

going back to play bball with jm, elvis and justin again tml. hope it won't rain tml so we can seriously get our ass down to play some serious matches. justin is coming down leh, rare chance to start a winning streak sia! lol. after that, maybe meeting up with ky for dinner, i hope. its not planned yet though.

anyway, i was saying i got the cathay job but its a serious screw up. to make it simple and sweet, i got sent home. hahahahahahaha. laugh! go ahead and laugh, i don't mind cause i'm laughing at myself also. lol.

shit crap, its not the first time i got sent home. the first time was noel. that one was seriously my fault as i wore slippers to work. i know, what a zhao slacker right? but! this time, things have changed. i double confirmed with arvind to make sure that any black shoes are allowed and i happily wore my black skate shoes to work, thinking that nth will go wrong.

ha! nth will go wrong? shit head. everything went seriously wrong for god sake! they said that they need black leather shoes when some of the employees themselves were wearing converse canvas shoes. wah. then they commented on my long fringe when arvind's fringe is longer than mine. hahahahahaha. life can be so screwed up when nth goes our way man.

after much thought, i think that i won't be working this sem cause of business stats which i think i will have quite alot of troubles with.

anyway, nba now. lakers won game 2 against denver. i didn't watch the game as it isn't aired in singapore but i do know that lakers are trailing at first in the first quarter because i checked nba.com back then. but i have togo to sch, so i just prayed that lakers will win.

results? kobe bryant had 49 points, 10 assists and 4 rebounds to lead lakers to a 122-107 win. thats what superstars do man. no doubt he's a mvp caliber player.

think thats all for today.

the weather is really fucked up i swear. its been raining for the past few days and because of it, we had to cancel our ubin trip for today. look what happened? it didn't fucking rain. not even a drip of water dropped from the freaking sky. fuck.

due to the cancellation of the ubin trip, i ended up having nth to do at home other than playing dai di and stwack on viwawa. it looks fun at first, but you'll get sick of it if u keep on playing. since the weather was so good, i gave justin and jm a call, decided to summon them for bball.

after a long time, i finally was able to play bball again. but still, my toes haven't fully healed. played 4 games today. won 3 loss 1.

game 1 was justin and me vs jm and one china guy. won 11-9. this round serves as a warming up round for me. jm did a very good job in keeping the game on track for his team despite the fact that his teammate sucks to the core on offense and has no teamwork.

after this, it was pure shootaround for some time. well, justin trained me on my shooting and we all realised that i was such a gone case for shooting. i mean, i was shooting from directly infront of the rim and i can still miss. power.

after that, played two 3 on 3 games with some guys from east spring sec b division bball team. well not bad i should say, we were able to win both games against sch team players, this meant alot to me man. the score was 11-9 and 11-4.

for the first match, it was all about teamwork and assisting them on my part. we managed to gain a 8-3 lead with that, but they tied the game at 9-9 when they focus on marking each one of us individually. justin and jm both knocked down 2 shots to get the win. for this match, i forgot to keep track of my scores and assists. lol.

the second match was rather easy for us. we build a 7-1 lead easily with me scoring all the first 7 points. i didn't took any long distant shot, all the points were gained by driving the lane and attacking the rim. during that spurt, i managed to score while being guarded one to one, two to one and even three to one. well, i think its because i was in momentum after playing 2 matches. i personally like the way i drove against the 3 to 1 defense. lol. but after that, they decided to focus on guarding me and i was unable to score with ease anymore, so winning the games comes down to justin and jm again.

we lost the last match 7-2. woah right? for the match, we are playing against the same guys as the 2 previous match, just that now its 4 on 4. jm noticed that we always lose when we had an extra members who aren't our brothers. i find it true arh. but on the other part, it's incapability on our part that we loss.

thats all for bball. had pizza for dinner. one whole pizza to myself again. swee sia. bye peeps.

after a long wait, the results are out. well, all i can say is that the output is considered a miracle given my input, so i'm quite happy.

click to enlarge.

and here's a collage that ruixin did. 1e05 2007/2008.

now! updates. went to syfc on the 12th with ky. he went there to take his cert for completing phase 1 of the flying course and i accompany him there as his "younger brother". lol. it was a stupid lie but ppl still bought it. lol. or are we too good in acting?

anyway, we were late for it and had to pia in. quite malu arh, but huan loh. thats what we do all the time. after that, went down to vivo to meet up with jm, jj, peiren, chunglim, kelly, maisie, vanda and winnie. they went to sentosa to play and ky and i were supposed to be there, but we couldn't make it on time. anyway, it rained whole day, so i guess the trip to sentosa wasn't very fruitful. but given the fact that jj and jm was there, i'm sure that they were able to come up with something fun.

had dinner together at vivo. went to long john and ky decided to be spastic once again. i wasn't there personally but they all told me this was what happened.

cashier: hi sir, may i help u?
ky: one duck rice pls.
cashier: O.O
ky: no lah haha, one combo 2.

see? the bugger went to long john and asked for duck rice. power lah. but its something you'll expect from lky.

as for today, met up with wahid, chin wee and arvind for some job interview. shall not go into details, but its a coordinator for tuition. need to put in some money first before we start, so we decided to work together to cut the loss if its a scam. $60 plus will be loss if its a scam.

went home and told my mum about this out of respect. the moment she heard about it, she disapproved of it. say what its a scam, it won't be true and how can u find students so easily. i'm already afraid that it might be a scam so we decided to work together to cut down on the loss as much as possible. haix. this is the reason why i always don't tell my mum stuff. always give negative comments, nv once her comments make me song one.

quite pissed now actually. whatever i do, confirm will splash cold water on me one. i mean, yeah, its risky, i know. but how can u succeed if u don't take risk? if it really failed, then take it as a lesson, somemore its just $60 plus. i personally feel that, we young ppl need to go out and chiong abit to get a taste of the real world. everyday don't take risk, stay in comfort zone, machiam spoilt brat.

tell u the truth lah, everyday stay in comfort zone, something also will go wrong one. lets take home as something equivalent to a comfort and safe zone. u think u will be safe at home? i don't think so, if not, there won't be news of trucks crashing into ppl's house and killing them, there won't be murders in one's house. got it?

just for once, let me go out and try. succeed or fail, i'll be happy. its the process that counts now.

enough of it. gonna eat my dinner. yeah, dinner.

woohoo! ebm's finally over. wahahahahahahahaha. 2 more papers and the exams are over. wah, got a little desperate ytd while studying for ebm as there's alot to study. moreover, i missed out on what to study for ebm due to the fact that i was helping wahid with his entrepreneurship project during the revision lecture. was running through the financial statements for him.

so, i used my last resort. i went online and asked debbie sis for help. lol. good thing she took down what to study. what she told me was referred to as "the bible" by wahid and me. and seriously, everything she told me came out. nice one. so that made ebm quite manageable.

tml's sas and there's ba on thursday. after that, its liberty day. song song song song. anyway, i haven't started on sas, so i'm gonna finish up this post quickly and go study abit.

had a tiff with my mum again. she's damn sensitive as usual and i can't be bothered as usual. hahahahaha. the same all the time.

seriously, i don't know what's wrong with her at times. see, my grandfather fell down and she was in the hospital visiting my grandfather. when she's coming home, she called me and asked what i wanted to eat. since she asked, i said fried rice.

next thing i know, she said she don't know where to get fried rice. u know the feeling? its (-_-''') to the core man. called and asked me what i want and said don't know where to find. then what's the purpose of calling to ask? so next best option, "duck rice lah".

one more "lah" and she's not happy about it liao. wtf lah! this is singapore man. we singaporeans use singlish! fuck. god damn it. if u think "lah", "lor", "leh" and even "sia" make ppl sound rude, my response is, too bad lor. u are in singapore, so get used to it for god sake.

ok. not knowing that my mother was pissed in the first place, i went to tell her to stop vacuuming the floor while i'm watching star wars episode 3. this is what i call itchy backside. my mother's state at that point in time was like a tank full of fuel in a dormant state and my action is like lighting a match and throwing it at the tank of fuel. next thing u know, dormant to active, boom!

that's what happened. my mum exploded. nag nag nag nag, scold scold scold scold and i got so super duper uber sianned. used my ulti though, sit down, faced the music abit, retaliated abit and then kept quiet all the way. its pretty useful u know. the more u shoot, its like adding more fuel to the fire. mothers want to win in argument, so if u say more, she'll shoot more. but if u kept quiet, she's like singing to the wall, she'll get tired of it. no challenge, no response, she'll get so sianned that she'll stop talking. hahahahaha. so now, happy cold war period jeremy. =)

thinking about it, i think can't blame my mum arh. its all my fault. too guai lan. hahahahaha.

thats all. hahahahaha. itchy backside. hahahahaha. bb.

woohoohoo! finally! projects and psycho test are all over. all over! i'm a free man now, back to my slacking ways. hell yeah!

having bbq later with brothers and close friends. nice! cny bbq. anyway, u peeps know what we hate the most. u can suan us, u can prank us, u can do whatever u want, but when it comes to confirming stuff, pls reply. especially when i said pls. its a simple task, just take ur phone and reply yes or no only. how hard can it be? busy? screw u. it will only take less than 30 seconds to send that sms. if u can't fork out 30 seconds to reply that sms, this only means one thing. ur time management seriously sucks to the core. so, don't try pissing me off. none of u except ky, jj and dk had seen me went haywire before.

that aside. what is growing up all about? at what age can u call urself matured? this part is dedicated to my sis. i'm not sure if she'll read it or not, but like i always said, this is my blog. i jolly well know that i'm not in a position to comment on my sis mainly due to the fact that she's older and smarter but then again, being older and smarter doesn't mean she's more matured than me. get what i mean? i love peaceful places, everyone knows that. so naturally, i won't like my home to have quarrels all the time. quarrels produce nothing other than noise pollution and its annoying.

u knows damn well that dad is having a hard time providing for us. electricity bills are raising once again, so why still stay up late and use so much electricity. worse off, through out the whole night. this just isn't right. there's a limit to everything. get it? is blog hopping and online shopping so fun that we can use the com for so long? i just don't understand why. its true that i visit blogs and have a blog, but its for maximum 2 hours.

i don't know what went wrong between u and mum for the past few days mainly because i was out till late night everyday, but all i can say is, don't do to others what u don't want others to do to u. u don't want others to disturb ur sleep, don't disturb theirs. bathe early, its good for ur health and won't disturb mum's slp too. slp early, its good for ur health and when she's cleaning the house, she won't affect ur slp too. when both have their slp and feels happy, there won't be so much quarrels and in the end, less noise pollution. that's all.

gonna go off now. cya.

well. looks like i'm been blogging quite regularly nowadays huh? 4 projects down, left 2. chiong arh! after projects, its pure slacking then hardcore studying liao. well, the printing of sas project went terribly wrong today and we were 1 hour late in submitting it. this is the first time in 2 semesters that we handed in a project late.

can't blame anyone. ruixin was too stress and overloaded with the drawing of all the diagrams on visio and we didn't offer to help out in collating the project. so screw up lor, but nvm, still a great job done. ran from business sch to it sch to engine sch and then desgin sch just to find a printing shop thats open to help us bind our project. not bad arh. stamina so lan still can run around. but! when i finally found one shop, the binding machine broke down on me! so wahid and chin wee took over to run out of sch to get the project binded while i went to do my psycho project.

oh yah. watched 27 dresses with ky, jm, justin, annabelle, winnie, kelly and maisie on the day that o's results were released. not bad lah the movie. typical american romantic film. but the outing was fun. remember its the first time i see annabelle the big boss woman since oct last year bah i think. and the first think she said to me was i looked like an ah beng! nice one lah big sis, i consoled u the day before we met when u got scolded by ur conductor and this is how u repay my kindness? lol.

this is the poster for the movie.

well, i'm now sitting with my left knee straighten out. i can't bend it. there will be a acute pain if i try. same old prob. on and off. quite tired of this knee injury liao. been battling it for years and there's no sign of improvements. i'm still recovering from a toe injury and now this. nice one.

just when i thought projects are over and i can play bball for a few weeks before settling down to study. looks like i got some serious resting to do. but still, i will say i've rested enough. its time to start training.

haix, i guess life's like this. everyone has their own prob. i have my own knee problem, others worry for money, u are sad about this and she's frustrated about that. get what i mean? everyone simply has their own problems! its a matter of how u face it. as my my case, i'm still glad that i can still walk, still run and still play bball. actually, i'm counted lucky, there are tonnes of ppl out there who can't play bball anymore due to their injuries. then how do they survive when they can't do something thats their passion? don't ask me, ask them. as for me, i think i will be freaking depressed.

before i forget, ppl who are interested in bball, go youtube and search on tnt nba fundamentals. it will help alot. from rebounding to passing, there are examples of fundamental trainings that u need to do in order to play well in bball. favourite phrase from the videos, "offense wins games, defenses wins championships". sounds pretty true to me.

lastly, debbie sis, take things easily bah. its one year only. think of it this way. its one year only. only! not one year arh! no "arh". ok? i think u get what i mean. trust me, after this one year, ur bonds will be very much stronger than it is now. like i said, its how u see things. treat it as a test or investment for a stronger relationship. 1 year for a lasting relationship is very worth it. as for now, when u are feeling down, there's always our clique and 1e05. so smile.

wtf! its 11.52pm liao. kun arh!!!

damn. i'm quite irritated now arh. nah beh. my bro is playing some kuku funeral like song. so damn irritating. i wonder why he likes this kind of songs. well, i think he feels the same way too. lol. its like a two way thing u know? mutual hatred for each other's choice of music. i think my selection of music gives him headaches and his choices certainly give me goosebumps. good thing, i have a good temper and high tolerance, if not, his com can say hello to the junk yard.

anyway, i didn't went to sch ytd. awol sia. lol. had problem slp-ing the whole night and only went to slp at 4 plus. woke up at 5 or 6 and chionged to the toilet. diarrhoea. woke up at 7.50 to prepare to go sch but was too damn tired, so decided to skip sch. before i went to slp, i decided to walk into my mum's room and tell her that i'm not going sch in case she woke up and rush into my room screaming at me thinking that i overslept. good thing sure don't last, my mum still woke me up. she asked me to go and get a mc but i was plain lazy to, so just tell that awol one day won't die one.

went to play bball at night. walked all the way to block 450's court just to play. not a very good performance on my part. loss 5, won none. pro right? hahahahahaha. was quite focus at first until i slipped in a puddle of water. was trying to save the ball from getting out of bounds and i ended up jumping into this puddle of water. at that moment, all i could think of is,"holy crap". managed to touch the ball and its water after that. managed to sort of regain my balance but slipped the second time. lol. but not very wet lah. i admire those ppl watching me slip man. nv laugh at all, if its me, i confirm will laugh until i roll on the floor. in fact, i'm laughing at myself now. hahahahahahaha. anyway, after i slipped, i'm super sianned and blur. who won't?

the most memorable match will be the last match bah. justin, chuan jie and me vs some acquaintances. loss 8-11. they were telling us to play for fun, so i was like in the playing for fun mood since i'm sianned for the whole night already. so much for playing for fun, they play as if they were giving in their best. i loss track of the score until i discovered that we were losing 2-10. scored 5 straight and assisted justin once before screwing up. yeah, i know it suck but still, thats the highlight of the day for me i think.

next time, i'm not going 450 liao. justin and i agreed that the court sucks. should stick to playing at 800 plus there.

sch today was pretty much ok. everything's the same except for some minor highlights. hahahahaha. the chio and cute bsg girl who clashed our accounting lecture. thats all. actually, this minor highlight did brighten up my day. did a stress test during psycho lecture. average male has a stress rating of 12.7 or something like that and i score 4 for the test. 3 times lower than the average. shows how happy i was today. lol. that's what arvind and chin wee said.

been listening to blink 182's song lately, i know, they've disbanded and their songs are old, but who cares? i'll listen as long as its a good band which write good songs and blink 182 is one of my fav band. i particular like these 5 songs now. always, carousel, stay together for the kids, adam's song and wasting time. think i can understand why wen jie likes carousel and always so much, but i may be wrong. hahahahahaha.

lastly, lyrics just for the fun of it.

blink 182 - stay together for the kids

it's hard to wake up,
when the shades have been pulled shut.
this house is haunted,
it's so pathetic,
it makes no sense at all.
i'm ripe with things to say,
the words rot and fall away.
if a stupid poem could fix this home,
i'd read it every day.

so here's your holiday.
hope you enjoy it this time,
you gave it all away.
it was mine,
so when you're dead and gone.
will you remember this night, twenty years now lost.
it's not right.

their anger hurts my ears,
been running strong for seven years.
rather than fix the problems, they never solve them,
it makes no sense at all.
i see them every day,
we get along so why can't they?
if this is what he wants and this is what she wants,
then why is there so much pain?

so here's your holiday.
hope you enjoy it this time,
you gave it all away.
it was mine,
so when you're dead and gone.
will you remember this night, twenty years now lost.
it's not right.

so here's your holiday.
hope you enjoy it this time,
you gave it all away.
it was mine,
so when you're dead and gone.
will you remember this night, twenty years now lost.
it's not right.
it's not right.
it's not right.
it's not right.

nth much left. bb.

like i always said,
forget about it,
its hopeless.

fuck! lol. i seldom scold vulgar in my post, but for the past 3 days, its seriously big fuck. had slight fever and sore throat on sunday, headache and slight sore throat ytd and flu today. how great can that be? different combinations somemore. lol. great start to 08? i think so too, i great start to a bad year. lol.

did some spastic things today. went to photocopy pom notes. wahid they all use mine to photocopy. my pages 1 to 6 and 9 to 10 was ok. pages 7 to 8 was crumbled by the photocopier. lol. nice one lah. after that, we tried doing something spastic. wanted to photocopy my face, but they said too gl so photocopied our palms and hands instead. lol.

met up with jm before my psycho lecture. hahahahaha. walked around tp, went to buy some stuff but ended up not buying any, sat outside tp's bookstore to talk cock and then walked around again.

psycho lecture's attendance was shocking. we all predicted that there should be alot of ppl attending the lecture as it could be the only lecture for the week. in the end, only half the lecture hall was filled. bottomline? i suck at predicting stuff. lol.

met up with jm again and we walked half of my journey home together. lol. jm's walking home also liao. reason? go his blog and see for yourself. but its always good to have a companion to walk home together with.

talked about our unofficial bball team. we both agreed that we don't have a qualified center anymore since justin is way smaller in size now as compared to last year. among the 4 of us, justin is certainly the best candidate to be the center of our team, but against other centers, justin is just too small in size.

we agree that it would be too much a burden for justin so we decided to help him out on rebounding more often. jm and kwok is always rebounding so that is directed at me. bo bian, i'm playing guard at the time. guards aren't suppose to be grabbing rebounds, on top of that, i need to set the team up, attract defense and do some scoring. its tiring enough, but in order to win more, i need to do more. so when my toes recover, its back to conditioning again. stamina stamina and still, train stamina.

more video links. i'm sure that you'll love bball after u see it. lol. as for jm and justin, take it as a form of motivation bah.

kobe's top 10 playoffs performances
kobe's highlight in 2006-07 season
kobe's top 10 plays in 2006
top 10 amazing plays of 2006
top 10 assists of 2006
top 10 blocks of 2006
top 10 bloopers of 2006
top 10 crossovers of 2006
top 10 dunks of 2006
top 10 moments of 2006
top 10 plays of 2006
top 10 showstoppers of 2006
top 10 steals of 2006

credits: videos are all taken from nba.com's broadband tv.

you'll see how great a bballer kobe bryant is. hahahahahaha. my favourite player. too pro. anyway, my dream of becoming a diver may come true soon. wahid and chin wee are both interested in diving. so i may go for a diving course with them soon. probably during the holidays. wahahahahahahaha.

up next. photos.

wahid asked me to take this pic in the toilet. lol.

slacking in class.

arvind and my hands.

me pointing middle finger.

wahid's palm.

chin wee's palm.

that's all. gonna slp now. lol. hope tml i won't be sick. =)

colour of the day: green!

blogging again. reason? boredom is driving me crazy. anyway. slacked full time today, but will be doing some work tml. in this post, there will be updates, some thoughts and photos. erm. uploaded one super duper unglam photo of myself. y? for the fun of it. lol. it was taken by my sis. tolong arh, pls don't kope that photo. super unglam. lol!

updates. met up with ky and justin today. didn't walked around tp for the ccn day just to meet up with them. lol. met up, had lunch and dinner together, talked cock, update on each other, walk around in tm, free loaded at times again, sent them to mrt station and waited for jm with them. as usual, he's late. seriously no comments. and so, they are on their way to pulau aur now. or maybe they've reached? can't be bah. they said that they will only reach there by 4am tml and they will sms when they reach.

the ophir weeks kind of feeling sure is back. all alone in singapore while brothers are having fun. this is when you are at ur wit's end as ur only source u easing ur boredom is gone. that aside, i've been thinking, sometimes i wonder, what is right and what is wrong?

ppl always say that we only have one life and thus we need to live it to the fullest. learn all u can, enjoy while u can, achieve while u are still young. i'm trying my best to achieve that, but sometimes, i have a great burden on me that make me hesitate. being the eldest son in the family. its an invisible burden in me that no one else can see, i may appear unaffected by it, but actually, i'm always thinking if my actions would cause any trouble for my family or not.

take diving for example. they can make up their mind so easily, they can get their money by any ways they want, i can do it too if i want to. but, how will the family make it through the month if i took $500 away? what if something happened at home while i'm away? i wasn't there when my father was in hospital. i'm always thinking whether my actions will have any adverse effect on my family or not.

so sometimes when i'm bored, my thoughts run wild. is trying to learn more and achieve more correct or wrong? is holding back on my actions to spare a thought for my family members correct or wrong? is messing up my chance to achieve what i want just to spare a thought for others correct or wrong? or is not giving a damn about anything else other than achieving what i want the right thing to do? i seriously don't know. sometimes, i seriously feel like letting go of everything thats holding me back and go ahead in achieving my goals but there's always something in me thats holding my back, after all my family ain't rich. if i enjoy, my family will have a hard time, thats all i know.

enough of rantings, photos from the car show up next.

erm. one of the cars produced by alfa romeo i think.

eh. i don't know what this car is.

this is my ride. the mitsubishi evo 10. =x

another view.

nissan 350z.

lamborghini gallardo. this green one looks damn ugly lor.

hahahahaha. jm and his ride.

forgot the model again.

black lamborghini michelago.

don't know the car model.

"erm, what did you said? taku-what? oh takumi fujiwara ar! he's nth."

3rd march babies.

jm with his other ride.

lotus elise. style.

wah! police also got wrx arh?

music is our lifes and we can prove it.

one of the car pimped for competition.

our usm.

this one then power, lky and his subaru impreza wrx sti. the police one is nth.

close up view.

another one ready for competition.

hummer h3.

we sure know how to enjoy life.

"yo, whazzup dude!"

another of ky's battle gear.

jm's latest ride.

ky and his 4th car.

hahahahahahaha. this photo. no comments lah! my mum was so sianned during the holidays that she came to play with my long hair. decided to tie it up and asked my sis to take a pic of it. damn unglam. was so stupid to let them fool around with my hair. but nvm lah i think, all in the name of fun. but pls arh, don't kope. =x

bb!

i cut my hair today and look like a small kid now. at least that's how i feel. don't get it wrong. i'm not cutting my hair because sch's starting. i'm cutting my hair because playing bball with long hair is damn mafan and hot. so short hair will make playing bball more qing song. don't get it wrong too, i'm not shedding my punk/emo look. =)

well, gaming at ky's house was a blast. brothers gathered for a sole purpose, gaming to kill time. had dinner at mac then tried to watch a movie but postponed it. i'm not sure when we will be watching it also. after that, wait for ky to cut his hair and go eat again. lol. not again actually. 1st round of dinner was for jun jie, justin and me. second round for ky and jm.

nth much to do at home other than staring at msn, watching anime, playing games, walking around my house, eating, drinking and sleeping. boring life. anyway, sch's starting and i need settle down and tune back to studying mode once again. but i think it will be a tough job after 2 months of pure slacking. 6 modules leh! plus maybe one more cds. will be quite tough i guess.

anyway, i was thinking about ranting here, about one particular person who crossed the tolerance limit i've set for everyone. but in the end, i think its not worth my time and energy so decided not to talk about her. eventhough i have nth to do at home, i rather i do something more meaningful than to talk about her. afterall, i think she won't change and will still be that stupid play hard to get bitch.

to this person, if u ever come across my blog, don't blame me for not treating u as a friend because i think i've done enough trying to be a friend. that's all.

jeremy lim signing off.

oh crap. i can forget about playing my ps2 liao. i just damaged the video output cable myself! accidentally clamped it in between the doors of my tv drawer. wakao lah! sianned. looks like com and a psp is the best way to play games when i'm bored. u can't expect me to play bass at night right? lol.

anyway. the ps2 spoil at a good timing. i was considering if i should buy a psp or not. then this happened. destinied man. lol. psp leh? or psp slim? most prob going for slim. hahahahahaha. then can play ps1 games! ff7,8 and 9! then during stupid long 3 hours break next term, also can play. wahahahahaha. not bad not bad. only problem now is money.

started working. comments on job? sian lor. its a routine. but for money, its all ok. worse is working when u are having a flu and the whole production process is slowed down because of u. that damn place is filled with aunties. not bad lah. can talk nicely to them but they are pro backstabbers sia. backstab each other one. lol. one fine day, it will be the showdown of backstabbers against crappers. aunties team vs jm and me. lol.

$63 per day if i worked ot. not bad lor. but jm and i are tempted to go back to hazel. one main factor that makes hazel so appealing. the freedom of running around. for ppl like jm and me, its best that we run around during work with no ppl wtaching over us. we hate those, keep quiet sit down chiong production kind of job. but now is job choose us, so bo bian. hope by 3rd oct can earn $500 plus liao. most of it will got to psp i think. the rest keep in bank make sure i got at least $500 in it.

anyway. my father bought me n76. hahahahaha. don't ask me why. i was stunned also. he came home one day saying that he's planning to change phone for my siblings and me. obviously, he got a $500 vouncher from m1. its an annual event liao. lol. thought that chances of me changing phone will be slim but he asked me what phone i want. lol. nice!

now? time to rant. this time target isn't anyone close to me but the god damn government.

singapore is already very well known as a "fine" country liao. now, its being called a "rising" country by me.

fuck one leh. expenses all keep rising. first its the electircity charges, then its gst, now its transport fees! the government really no comments. all rise but not the wages leh. no wonder singaporeans all migrating. with this kind of inflation, how they expect singaporeans to have alot of children? drop ur idea of singaporean giving birth to more children and concentrate on attracting foreign talents lah. best is ask megan fox over. =x

haix. no wonder singaporeans are rated some of the most unhappy ppl in the world due to life stress. i forgot where i saw it. its from a survey.

gonna zhao liao. meeting ky they all later to ton again. lotsa things to discuss, talk and watch. nice!