now we've all grown up, gone on and moved away,
nothing i can do about it, nothing i can say
to bring us back to where we were when life was not this hard,
looking back it all just seems so far, so far away.

poly life is way better than jc life. lol. lesser time spent in sch. less stressful environment. basic accounting is easy. lol. its a revisit to the poa that i've studied for 2 years. its no stranger. while others are going "huh?", i'm smiling to myself and happily shaking my legs away. but cannot slack, use this time to strengthen my base even more.

web design is fun. html coding. woohoo. more or less know abit of it. blog mah. need to use one. plus last time justin and i explore together. so remembered abit. so some head start there.

as for the opening paragraph. lyrics from yellowcard's miles apart. well. what can i say? brothers. secondary sch to jc or poly. we've grown up just like any other human beings. 13 when we met in the same sch, 16 when we graduate and part. now, we are in different institutions. josh in tjc. ky and waikit in nyjc. jun jie and jun liang in sp. jm, zh and me in tp. justin and liang hao in tpjc. dong kai in pjc. elvis is dunman.

well, seriously. in my perception. i still wish that we can still be in the same institution and hang out like what we used to. but too bad. life's goes on. its all about moving forward. time does not stop for man. there's no time to look back.

secondary sch used to be such a chore. waking up early. go sch. stone in lessons. looking forward to breaks. hoping for public holidays. lol. but looking back at it now. secondary sch life kinda rocks. with all those brothers around. life was without worries back then. maybe a few. we were worrying of going where to have fun after sch. seriously. those ppl who spent 3 to 4 years with u. will u ever find ppl as good as them? how will u know that ur new friends in tertiary institutions will accept u like how they did? who will accept your spasticism? your nv ending crave for suaning ppl? ur little habits? and most importantly, understand you well?

some may think that there will be nice ppl in poly. true. but what about the chemistry between u 2? u may say that there's 3 more years to know each other. but if u add the 3 years to my already 3 to 4 years with those brothers in sec sch. thats 6 to 7 years. i might as well spend this time with my brothers and get even closer.

this world is filled with millions and billions of ppl. but only a few will have exactly the same thinking as u. have the same interests. have that thing call chemistry with u. they are hard to find. something that made graduating from sec sch so difficult for me is that, i may drift away from the ppl who are so hard to find in the world. those brothers who are already perfectly tuned to my frequency of jiao weis and stuffs.

ppl say that its fate that ppl meet and be close friends. so is it also fate that made them drift apart? or is it up to human beings themselves? seriously, the best education system in the world doesn't know how much they are screwing up with their students' life. the best way to prevent drifting is frequent meetings. but how is that possible when u have tonnes of work and projects to do? u may say time management. hell yeah. let me ask u this. exams are around the corner. and even if u have some extra time. would u rather study or go out with the so called "some extra time" that u finally have?

somemore. studies is not the only activities students have. we need to be an all rounder. and that mean participating in ccas. ok. with such a tight sch schedule, work and projects are already being pushed back to weekends. so where's the time to meet up? public holidays? shit u. public holidays are not for nth. sch will cleverly place a test or exam after the public holidays. how clever. so there goes the weekdays, weekends and public holidays. how nice.

so down to one last chance. sch holidays. woo. nice. your head. even sch holidays, we also must go back for ccas. and ppl from different sch have different days for their different ccas. today jm have this. tml ky and me have this. the next day jun jie have this. next week justin's not free. how to meet up? so do we sit and wait for fate to take effect again? for brothers to meet on the streets?

even then, it will only be a "hi" and "bye" conversation. topped up with some very brief updating. and off we go again. resuming our competition in the rat race. life's full of wonders. full of excitement. full of new stuff. full of hope. but come to think about it again. life simply sucks at times.

to love, to live, to laugh. with reference to jm's post and personal message in msn. who don't wanna do that? u do. i do. everyone does. but is it really possible to have all three? to love with all ur heart. to live life to the fullest. to laugh ur hearts out. is it ever possible with such a screwed up system of education? workload tied us down. want to love. there's sch. sch don't allow. love affects studies. wanna live life to the fullest. wanna try this, wanna try that. but next moment, "oh shit, tml got sch and test." wanna laugh our hearts out. can't even find the time for all the brothers to come out. how to laugh?

well, just some thoughts there. think thats all. not being emo. brothers may find this true to a great extent. or maybe not. i can be wrong.

when we were young,
we hope to grow up faster.
when we've grown up,
we wish that we nv did.