its been long since i last blogged liao. well. no comments. jc life totally tired me out which in turn made me lose the interest in blogging. lack of time contributes to the factor too. seriously, 24 hours a day ain't enough. hahahahahahaha. i think this post will more or less shock ppl who had no idea regarding what had happenned to me lately bah.

well, i went down to temasek poly to appeal into its accounting and finance course after the appealling period was way over. reason for doing it? haix. accounting and finance course was the course that i was aiming since way before o's. but my mindset sort of change after i went to work and got the result. the reason for going jc was stated clearly in my previous post.

many may ask that why didn't i appeal during the appealling period since i hate jc that much? well, my reply would be, during the appealling period, jc never started its lectures yet. it was still having orientation and other admin activites. so i didn't know how jc life really was. until lessons really started. i found out that there were 2 killer subjects for me, topped up with boring subjects like chinese, general paper and project work. just the thought of these 3 h1 subs would send chills down my spine now.

ok, first up. killer sub no. 1, maths. damn it. for someone without add maths base like me. studying maths in jc is an uphill task. furthermore, pls note that i was a maths noob back in secondary sch. i failed my maths all the way until o's where i managed the pass it with an a2. its a miracle back then. when i look at the notes, every single letters and symbols on that paper know who i am, but i don't know them. they are so alien. ok, best part is. after i spent like 2 to 3 hours looking through the notes and finally understood it abit, i still don't know how to do the tutorials. damn it. ppl are studying something further than add maths now but i'm just starting from the scratch. maths' a killer. who the hell complicate maths until this extend? damn it.

killer sub no.2, chemistry. surprised? yah yah yah, i got an a1 for combined science. i know. but so what!?! do u know that i'm freaking suay? the 3 topics that i skipped for o's are more or less the main topic in jc? mole concept, redox and hydrocarbon. damn it. in sec sch, these topics were so minor for o's that i just simply skipped them. but damn it, i still can't escape them for jc. and they are the main topic. and try imagining having mole concept and redox combining into one question. wth! damn it. many of u may think, y don't i choose physics instead right? i seriously would like to. but god damn nyjc don't allow me to take physics! reason being that i have no add maths base. damn it lah. a 10 pointer meeting this kind of shit in jc. good luck have fun man.

anyway, details about the appealing part. after i knew that i'm in deep shit. i told my mum, i seriously need to change sch. if not i will die after year 1 in jc. i predicted that i will be retained. so my mum talked to my dad. well, he didn't approved it. cause he wanted me to go jc. so it took my mum one whole morning to persuade and talk some sense into my dad before they brought me down to tp's one stop center to appeal. comments received? the receptionist there said that given my result, if i appealled during the period, i will confirm get a place. but as for now? the course is full, i may not get in, but i will be on top of the list. haix. so what if i'm on top of the list? the course is full. no space. being on top of the list is useless man. from me choosing my sch during jae to sch choosing me now. haix.

the next day, i went back to sch and ended up telling my form teacher my situation. he himself suggested that i go poly. if not i will suffer big time in jc. maths alone will take up alot of my time and i still have crap subjects like gp, chinese and pw to handle. somemore chinese a levels is this year. damn it. and the worst part? i miss out the first 3 months in jc. first reason was i couldn't get into one with my prelim results. mi not counted. 2nd reason, back then i was planning to go poly, so was working to earn money and pay for my own expenses. good lor. now everything screw up. because of one reason. trying to be a good boy and lessen my dad's burden. think for others and see the shit that i'm in now. like i said before, it doesn't pays to be kind to others. and like what justin said in his blog, ren bu wei ji tian zhu di mie. i totally agree now. think for others and u suffer. haix. so if i remain in jc, i got a whole lot of first 3 months topic to catch up on and maths to handle for the rest of the year.

so what am i planning to do if my appeal fails? well. i'm left with 2 choices. choice number 1, drop out of jc and work for the rest of 2007. earn some money for my poly expenses. and join the jae for 2008. choice number 2. transform myself into an ultra geek and pia full time for jc. bad points? most prob kelly and i will drift away. and if i can't make it for the promo exams, i wasted all my time and effort. lastly, after year 1 in jc, there is still year 2. the year for a levels somemore. damn it sia.

since the matter, i've been talking to some teachers. mr lee huan leng, mrs low and mrs vijay. after hearing my choices, mr lee suggests i stay in jc. he said that if i got the determination, i will make it out of jc. but both mrs low and mrs vijay supports my idea of dropping out and going to work first. mrs low added that i will turn out to be an even more stronger person this way. because i know what i want and i strived for it. mrs vijay supported my idea but she stated that she's afraid that i may lose the touch for studying while i work for the rest of this year. so she suggested that i take up part time poly courses to keep myself in shape. well. on my side, i prefer dropping out and working for my own expenses. but i don't really know how am i going to put the idea across to my dad. maybe he'll understand, maybe he won't. haix.

anyway, lets state the benefits and lessons that i'll learn given these possible outcome.

outcome no. 1. appeal successful and get into the course. i will seriously treasure the chance given and really study hard. study hard not as in studying like a geek. but i will chiong more than i was back in dunman. haix. mrs vijay was right. she knows that i am the kind that wants to play and study at the same time. lol. but she thinks that i will excel in poly. this i don't know.

outcome no. 2. appeal fail and remain in jc. if i ever survive these 2 years and pass a levels with decent grades. i will more or less become a very determined person who nv gives up. which in turn is good. i don't give up easily.

outcome no. 3. appeal fail and remain in jc. but i nv made it to year 2 this year. well. what can i say? i just wasted one year of my life in jc. dropping out would be better. at least i will be working for my expenses.

outcome no. 4. appeal fail and i dropped out of jc. well. i think working to pay for my own expenses will make me a stronger person like what mrs low said. true, i'll be wasting one year of my life. but i will be more matured. i will study even harder in poly. i will be more focused.

so bascially that's it bah. and now for cca. i don't even know what cca should i join. cause those sports cca are so hiong. i mean they train like xiao. which i don't mind. for nice bodyshape mah. sex appeal. lol. but let's take dragonboat as an example. alot of its members were retained and it scares me a little. haix. don't know lah. if staying in nyjc then huan loh lor.

anyway. these are the things that i've done to help boost my chances of getting into accounting and finance course. first, my mum brought me to some temple in bedok to pray. well. i prayed sincerely and seriously hope god bless. next, my mum again, brought me down to see mr sin boon ann, some mp for tampines grc and sort his help. he said that he will write a letter to tp and asked them to give me a chance. last resort. the next day after i appeal, i went down to tp again and wrote a letter myself to some sort of beg for a place in tp. its for my future. so i see no wrong in doing this bah.

and if i get into poly, there are also something that i regret doing. that's not talking things out nicely and asking my parents' for their opinions. because of this, i bought the graphic calculator which cost a bomb and my uniform liao. also, i cut my hair due to the rules set by nyjc and now, i look like a kuku.

finally, there are some ppl who i wanna thank here when i'm in this crisis.

first up, brothers and close friends. ppl like justin, jun jie, jian wei and jing han. thanks alot for talking to me when i am really confused. thanks for consulting me online. jun jie, thanks for ur efforts in calming me down and helping me find tp's number. justin, thanks for ur effort in teaching me add maths and asking me to relax. lol. well, as for ky they all. i didn't trouble them because they were already too fed up with jc also.

then, my teachers. mrs low, mrs vijay and mr lee. thanks alot for ur precious suggestions and encouragement. especially mrs vijay, who talked to me online and tried her best to guide me out of my confusements.

up next, my darling kelly gui. lol. she tried her best to cheer me up and was understanding enough to know why i didn't called her and can't talk to her that often. eventhough when i told her that i will call her and forgot about it. she was still very forgiving. lol. so thanks alot darling for being so understanding. its been hard on u.

lastly, my family members especially my mum. after i told her about my troubles, she went all out to help me and tried her best to calm my frayed nerves. she too tried to talk me round and tried her best to see things from my point of view. she also did her very best in persuading my dad. and find all ways to help me boost my chances of going into tp. and also my sis and bro, thanks for standing up for me in front of dad. thanks alot to my sis for teaching me add maths and chem.

well, seriously, this shit may be a pain in the ass but i realised something from it. this crisis allowed me to realised and identified the people that really care about me. those that are so worried about me when i'm in deep shit. thanks ppl. i appreciate ur care and concern alot.

up next, its quite random lah. good charlotte new album, new morning revival is out. rating? not really as i expected. haix. seriously, this album ain't as nice as the previous few. but still worth it bah. maybe after listening and exposing myself more to their new songs, i will like them? maybe bah. also, relient k's new album, five score and seven years ago is out. after getting my hands on their new album, i will rate their album and update it bah.

woohoohoo. something tells me that the punkrock bands are all preparing for a punk rock revival. cause most of them are releasing their album this year. relient k, bowling for soup and good charlotte are out already. upcoming released will be from sum 41, yellowcard, simple plan, new found glory for this year. and greenday estimated for release next year.

need to study liao. bb. take care ppl.

please let me enrol in that course,
i promise to work hard,
and put my very best into it,
i promise.
all i need is a chance,
a miracle now.