went to the hospital just now. its not because of my knee, its because my great grandma is in hospital. wow? yeah wow. she's 93 years old and i'm impressed. living for close to a century is sure a feat.

eventhough i nv really talked to her before other than greeting her, i still respect her. afterall, she's my elder, without her, there wouldn't be me. ain't it?

was on the way home when jm called me to join ky and him for dinner at changi village. rejected the idea initially as i got dinner waiting for me at home. reached home, ate the dishes and poured away the rice before meeting up with them for my so called "other half of my dinner".

after that, went to 7-11 and bought 3 blackcurrant vodka and were on our way home. went to meridian hotel as usual to use its toilet. then took bus until the library before going into sunplaza park to waste time. talked about our current plans to get psp slim and go diving.

i received $100 from my bro to buy the psp. well, its not that i am extorting money from him u know? i'm not from a rich family, so we shared most of our consoles. so if he's gonna play, he's gonna pay. afterall, i will be paying for most of it as usual. ps1, ps2 and psp, i'm the biggest shareholder for all of them. wahahahahahaha. but since i'm so short on cash, i may take another $50 from him depending on the situation. i don't wanna take alot of cash from him since he's not working and i am. he's still a secondary student afterall.

next. diving! we are gonna dive! $399 to dive in singapore and $499 to dive in malaysia. now i'm stuck. go diving or buy psp? in terms of spending logical money, psp is the better option. but diving is a thrilling activity! i've always wanted to dive. i wanna know the freedom of swimming in the vast ocean, the thrill of seeing the underwater world and of course the danger of getting close to a stingray. lol. that reminds us of steve irwin yah? u all get what i mean? i'm a free soul afterall.

last by not least. brothers chalet. its the third plan we have. but its close to unachieveable since the usual 4 are so god damn short of cash. but of course, the other brothers can share and pay the full sum also lah. but i think its impossible also. so see how lor. plus the "worse comes to worse" plan is that if i can't get enough money to go diving with them, i'll pay for most of the chalet expenses. since jm, justin and ky have more probability of getting the sum of money before the end of this month. i still need to buy the psp, how can i do it? unless i chiong hazel until i peng.

was feeding the mosquitoes so much that i asked if we could walk around the park. ended up playing at the playground there. well, its hell lots of fun returning to our childhood and doing spastic stuff. took photos of the time when we were playing and will upload them after i get them from jm. lol. was questioning jm why he brought along his d80, well, now i see it. its to take down these unforeseen circumstances as memories.

well, as for now, i will talk abit about freedom? it won't be very long since i'm damn tired now. what exactly is freedom? how does freedom feels like? is it being able to wake up at 2 in the afternoon and eat whatever u like? play games all day? slack all day and slp as and when u deem fit? to me, its also freedom. but this is not the freedom i want! nor will i like living a dull daily routine. this kind of freedom is too dull for me.

i don't really know what kind of freedom i want. but i really enjoy the times when i'm working at hazel since i'm able to run around and feel the thrill of finding my way home from a place that i totally nv went before.

i may adore freedom too much to settle down. i agree with that, but who knows we can still have freedom after we settle down? settling down in here means finding a gf and committing in that relationship. erm. but to me, i may find it hard because committing in relationship means breaking free from my band of brothers who i enjoyed being with so much. u can't blame us, we just spent too much time together until my mum thinks that we are gays! i always wonder that will i ever have as much fun with my gf as compared to my brothers? afterall, i'm a fun seeker and the stuff we do at times, girls don't like them. plus i'll nv show the crazy side of me in front of my gf. i think i'll scare her away. =x well, we will nv know until we try. but until i can find myself one gf, be it she likes me first or i like her first, all i can say is huan loh!

lastly, haix, its a utterly sad news for me. i'm selling off my beloved bass. its not that i'm not playing it lah, its because my mum asked me to sell it off. its not that i have no brain of my own and i'm a stupid damn ass who listens to his mum. but think about it, i'm playing bass by myself and i cannot do much with it until i have a band. but where's my band? i've been talking about it for close to one whole year man, but i nv even progress from it! well, wen jie went to new zealand and i lost one potential band mate from it. somemore, except for jm, the rest of my brothers are not interested in music.

u may say that i can find my band mates from other places. but the prob is, i just hang out too much with my gang and having bandmates from outside the gang means breaking off from them at times. sry, i can't do that. its my dead knot. blame it on my personality. i've always stuck with this small network of friends, i don't wanna lose it. the only way out is finding ppl from the gang to start, but its not enough with just jm and me. so in the end, i'm giving up music. i'm nv inclined in it anyway. plus i need the cash. but one thing is for sure, i'm not shedding my punk look.

think thats all. gonna rest now. i'm damn tired. tml meeting brothers again to make them study. lol. and also to confiscate justin's psp from him! he's playing too much and studying too little! promos man! since i'm his psp's guardian, i should confiscate it for his own good. lol.

bb.

why does it feel like it's raining in my head?
i don't understand.