i realised that my brothers have blogged about life, success and studies. so now i'm gonna do my own piece now. well, i'm the latest so far, slow as usual.

the post may be a long one. it may also be a short one. depending on me. i'm not in my usual "thinking" mode nowadays. maybe its brain lag due to the prolong study break. justin made a very nice post on singapore's close to perfect yet fucked up education system. it made ky and me laughed our butts off like some kukus.

seriously, singapore is pushing its students to their limit which in my point of view is good. human beings need to be pushed. but then again, all these pushing made them less prepared to face adult life as compared to students from other countries. irony ain't it? one of the best education system in the world produces top quality certs but idiots in life.

take a good look at asher goh and me. he was in 4b and i'm in 4e. he's was second from the front and mine was second from the back in terms of express stream. he tok-ed me fair and square in studies. he can do maths with his eyes close and his brain only running at 50%. i do maths with my eyes close also and my brain running at 0% and 100% at the same time. y? cause during exams, i simply felt hopeless. not actually feeling hopeless throughout.

it goes like this. days before exam, i will go like this. "ha! maths? no kick. all i need to know is the concept and formula. the rest no need huan loh. i'm tensai. tensai no need to study" and continue to slack. day before exam. "tml's maths, ok lor, take out textbook look at formulas lor".

before exam, how hard can it get? i got the concepts and formula so no prob. normally exercises also can do, scared for what? exams started. was full of confidence and do the first few questions with my brain running at its max. was so contented with it as i simply can do them! comments at that time? i'm a tensai! but as i proceed with the paper, i got more and more hopeless. not desperate. i wanna find the answer and my brain is running at 100%, but the output reflects 0% of effort being put it. comments? even tensai fails at times.

so in the end, i ended up calculating not how much i've scored but how much i've lost. ppl around me are also bending their heads down calculating, but they are doing the questions. as for me? i'm calculating to kill time.

after the exam. the scene is chaotic. ppl are screaming, kao pei-ing, whining and cheering. as for me? i don't whine like some fuckers who lost just 1 or 2 marks. i don't celebrate like some other fuckers as they are having a's once again or finally. i just kept quiet and was amazingly calm. deprived of feelings and lost for what expression am i supposed to make. i'm disappointed yet relieved. disappointed that i won't pass and relieved because the exam is over. comments? the tensai will be back.

ppl are discussing on the answers but i don't even bother to join in the conversations. ppl asked me how i faired and i just simply answered "fail" without a single sign of emotion. moments later, ppl are still huan loh-ing about the god damn paper but my mind is already cleared of it and was probably already talking crap with my brothers and enjoying my lunch.

see it? i suck at maths and my studies as compared to asher but that doesn't mean my iq is lower than his. true, his results are way better than mine but give him a real life situation, he may cock up. ok. here's the scenario.

near asher's house are 2 supermarkets. ntuc and cold storage. asher's mother asked him to go and buy apples for her from ntuc but ntuc is out of stock. asher went home to tell his mum that ntuc is out of stock and ended up being scolded like some kuku.

for ppl like me and my brothers, ntuc is out of stock, then go cold storage to check it out. in the end, bought apples home for my mum. result? mum's happy and u won't kena scolding.

see the diff? irony of the best education system. and now, what in the world is success? click on this link and u will know. go on, click on it, know it then continue reading this post.

now. u already know the definition of success. but so what if u know the definition? are u successful? do u know how to make success come true?

success comes to those who nv gives up. its true. so what if u failed? just keeping on trying. but don't keep on trying the same strategy for the same problem.

look at me, i want to go to university and i thought jc will be the fastest route. i went in, i can't take it, i came out, i failed. but so what? i tackled the problem from another angle, i went to poly, hope i can do well and go to university! although it takes one more year as compared to jc, but i still reach my target. i will still succeed if i make it through poly. hastes leads to waste.

everyone knows that i want to be a real good shooting guard and i'm nv good from the start. even until now, i don't consider myself a good shooting guard, but i'm still trying. as long as i don't give up, i can still do it.

to me, in order to succeed and win others, we need to first overcome our greatest enemy and that's ourselves.

in order to be a good sportsman and beat others, u need to overcome ur own limits and beat ur best performance in order to improve and beat others. for me, i want to dunk, i'm pushing myself to the limit and am jumping higher as i push myself. see that?

in order to get good grades, u need to overcome ur own worldly desires and get ur ass down to study. its not that i support studying, but in singapore, this is the only way. its not like we can hang around and hope that guan yin ma will bless us. cause if this is the way out, everyone won't be studying but praying now.

so as long as u are able to beat ur ownself, ur chances of succeeding will greatly increase.

then again. why do we want to succeed? for what purpose? why do we live? is it real we live just to find our purpose in life? our purpose to succeed? well, these are some stuff for me to ponder over.

ok. i've said my piece. meeting brothers early tml to hang out and check out on some stuff. again, its challenging myself to wake up early.